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2 Bumps

I read this book on wedding planning and it suggested some questions to ask your DF before you get married...

So it got me curious on what you guys think are some good questions to ask your DF before you get married.

 
LiLJeni

Asked by LiLJeni at 11:20 PM on May. 24, 2011 in Relationships

Level 30 (44,491 Credits)
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Answers (11)
  • My husband and I had talked about so much of everything - whether I would be a SAHM, how we managed money, who would be in charge of bills, how we would merge finances, how to split holidays with in-laws (or, in our case, we were committed to starting our own family holidays), what kind of sports we would expect our children to play in school, whether we would finance or pay cash for vehicles, everything.

    What we did NOT talk about was whose Christmas tree and decorations we would use. I figured mine - it was beautiful with crystal and white lace ornaments and a crocheted angel topper. His was, well, tacky, with a smorgasbord of ornaments and an LED star topper. We had a huge falling out. We ended up putting up both trees, and have done so every year since.
    KateDinVA

    Answer by KateDinVA at 11:38 PM on May. 24, 2011

  • Do you want kids?
    How many?
    How will you discipline? (spanking, time out, ect)
    How do you manage your money?
    What is your credit score?
    Soniam301

    Answer by Soniam301 at 11:23 PM on May. 24, 2011

  • How many children do you want?
    What are your political and religious views?
    JulieJacobKyle

    Answer by JulieJacobKyle at 11:22 PM on May. 24, 2011

  • Anything pertaining to his goals, dreams, etc. Do you already have children together? Parenting techniques, house hold responsibilities, expectations of each other, etc.
    JeremysMom

    Answer by JeremysMom at 11:22 PM on May. 24, 2011

  • How will financial matters be handled? Who pays for bills? One account for everyone or separate accounts, or both? I wish dh and I had talked this one through- it would have saved a lot of fights!

    Expectations around family issues- how many kids? How far apart? How do you want to discipline them? How do you want to spend the holidays? Vacations? How do you feel about pets (another one I wish dh and I had discussed first!)

    The credit score one is to make sure there are no secrets in the financial department. One of my friends got married and her husband never disclosed his enormous personal debt... it didn't come out until they began hunting for a house and found that he could not be preapproved for a mortgage because of his poor credit. It dramatically changed their timeline for purchasing a house and other financial matters... she probably would rather have known!
    Freela

    Answer by Freela at 11:44 PM on May. 24, 2011

  • all of the above..
    shanesmom24

    Answer by shanesmom24 at 12:05 AM on May. 25, 2011

  • Oh yes about the credit score thing, I had a friend that married someone with an aweful credit history and score. Once they got married, they shared a joint account, and almost all of the money was gone one day because it was garnished due to creditors, lawsuits, and not making payments on credit cards and accounts.
    socialworker227

    Answer by socialworker227 at 12:27 AM on May. 25, 2011

  • "Are you going to act like a tool if I ask you to bathe a puke-covered baby eight seconds after you come home from work so I can clean up the huge sticky mess of flour, peanut butter and molasses the other children made in the kitchen before the dog wanders through it and tracks it all over the house?"

    "Can you read a list or set of instructions that is written in plain English? Okay good, now sign this document to the effect that you CAN read a list or set of instructions that is written in plain English so when you pretend you can't somewhere down the line, I can use this document as part of my legal defense against the charges that are sure to be leveled at me after I brain you with your XBOX360."

    "Here is a computer progression of what I'm going to look like after 15 years and three kids. Can you sleep next to this?"
    Fistandantalus

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 6:55 AM on May. 25, 2011

  • What is your credit score?? I dont get that one.
    We already have 2 boys.
    LiLJeni

    Comment by LiLJeni (original poster) at 11:37 PM on May. 24, 2011

  • Will you let me know when you feel our relationship seems to be complacent or boring?
    What are some things that we could do to be sure our marriage stay's fresh (like do a date night once a week, or play hookie from work once a year to go on a romantic trip (just the two of us)?
    How much of a role would you like the "in-laws" to play in our relationship?
    How will we spend Holidays, will we start our own traditions or will be visiting the family?
    If a family member is in a bind, would you be willing to let them live with us and under what conditions?
    If someone asks for a loan or to borrow money what would be the maximum amount that you feel comfortable with loaning out? Would you be sure to discuss that with me in advance, even if it's your mother?
    socialworker227

    Answer by socialworker227 at 12:19 AM on May. 25, 2011

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