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2 Bumps

Gay: Born or Choice----For you Christians out there.....I have a few questions.

As I posted earlier, my daughter told me that she is bisexual. Yes, she is only 14 and I know that she can't really say one way or the other entirely quite yet but I have a few questions for the Christians out there. I'd really appreciate it if you could answer all 3 so I could get an idea.

1) are your born gay or is it a choice
2) the bible states that it is wrong--do you believe gay people go to hell?
3) people have said that since my daughter has not had sex, she can't say that she is bisexual. My thought is, if she has the hots for another girl, doesn't that make it so?

You can answer anon if you want, I just want your honest opinion. The questions might sound crazy but I am at a loss because even though I go to a non-denominational church, I was raised Catholic and so I'm confused. I love my daughter and accept her no matter what, just wanted to know what you thought. Thanks for your support!!!


Asked by emmyandlisa at 12:41 AM on May. 25, 2011 in Religion & Beliefs

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This question is closed.
Answers (26)
  • First, I believe that being gay/lesbian/bi-sexual, etc. it's genetics. Has no bearing on choice. No one can force me to sleep with another woman because that is not my genetic makeup. You either are or your not. I don't believe you go to hell, because this is who God made you. He isn't going to punish you because your gay. Just because she feels now that she has interest for both sexes doesn't determine that this will always be. She may feel that way now, she's only 14, but may change her mind later. Regardless, she's the child of God and he'll always welcome her into heaven when the time comes. So cool that the two of you are able to talk about such a sensitive subject. A testament to you and what a wonderful mom you are. She's very fortunate!

    Answer by Kathy675 at 12:58 AM on May. 25, 2011

  • I still consider myself a Christian... I do not think being gay is a choice in most cases. Most of the gay people I know would not have chosen to be so. Why would they sign up to be harassed and ridiculed? It doesn't make much sense. I live right in the middle of the Bible choosing to be gay around here would not be a smart decision, if it were one.

    I think the Bible is taken grossly out of context on this matter (and a whole ton of others, for that matter) no, I do not think someone who is gay is automatically doomed to hell.

    If she is sexually attracted to other girls, then she is likely bisexual or lesbian. However, since hormones are insane at that age... it's likely dry toast would turn her on. She will figure herself out one way or another in due time. Just give her the chance to do so without judgment and she'll be fine.

    Answer by ErinHill226 at 1:27 AM on May. 25, 2011

  • 1) are your born gay or is it a choice?

    They are born that way!!

    2) the bible states that it is wrong--do you believe gay people go to hell?

    No I dont.

    3) people have said that since my daughter has not had sex, she can't say that she is bisexual. My thought is, if she has the hots for another girl, doesn't that make it so?

    Yes it does.


    Answer by LiLJeni at 1:21 AM on May. 25, 2011

  • as long as you're talking with her than I'd say just let things sort of flow, don't try to get all the answers at once. Give it time.

    Answer by SeasideNative at 1:22 AM on May. 25, 2011

  • I'm sorry that you had to read some answers here that say, should your DD be gay, she will go "straight to hell". That is the most awful thing to say to someone. How incredibly rude and insulting and lacking in compassion.

    Your DD is at least recognizing feelings that she is having. This is better than her living in fear, and one day feeling she can't live simply b/c she is gay and people drilled into her head that she is an awful abomination who will go "straight to hell." I'm glad she is open to the fact that she is feeling something that not everyone does.

    When it's your own family, somehow the idea of labeling them an abomination becomes moot, doesn't it. Your love for them supercedes all judgment. GL!!

    Answer by sahmamax2 at 7:32 AM on May. 25, 2011

  • Being gay is not a sin. Most become that way because things that have happened in their life. Strong male dominance, and being what's considered a weak male. ex. Brothers that are great in sports with a father who promotes it. A mother who babies or, and is constantly bashing all men. etc. Not much different then those who suffer from depression for many of the same things. For it manifests as this instead. On the other hand i really think that she is confusing a girl crush as do some boys as being being Gay. it's quite natural for us to have a "crush" on someone of the same sex who is everything we want to be. Someone who is out going very comfortable in their own skin. We want to be close to them to have this awesomeness rub off on us. Society has has warped this natural crush to the point that many young people are confused by it and are being told that they are gay or bisexual. Good luck on this journey.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:00 AM on May. 25, 2011

  • @ LARRYSWiiFE ... when did YOU make the CHOICE to like MEN??? Please explain to us HOW you came to that decision.

    @EmmyandLisa ...
    First, you should feel good about the fact that your daughter felt comfortable enough to be able to come to you and talk about it. That is a wonderful accomplishment and a HUGE gold star on your parenting skills.

    Second, yes, we are BORN either heterosexual, homosexual or bisexual. Why would God punish one of His creations for being the way He made them? That is just stupid. I honestly believe God doesn't care. MAN wrote the Bible, not God. 


    Answer by SpiritedWitch at 9:14 AM on May. 25, 2011

  • First let me say that I've not read any other posts, so this comes from my heart:

    1. People who are bi or gay are 100% BORN that way.
    No one would "choose" to be teased, bullied, shamed, dirty, outcasted or what have you.

    2. NO they are not going to hell. God loves ALL his children.

    3. You can totally have feelings for either sex at any age. Age has no part in this.

    I have SEVERAL friends and a very close family members who fall into the Bi and Gay categories. They would much rather be straight and be considered "normal" to everyone else. My family member.... has struggled with this his WHOLE life. He's lost his father, some other family members, he was teased SEVERELY as a child, went through 3 psychiatrists, trying to deal with this, he's tried to commit suicide more times than I can count, he became a drug and alcohol addict. IF you "choose" to be this way..... WHY in hell would anyone "choose" this?

    Answer by MrsDAP at 9:17 AM on May. 25, 2011

  • Our childhood also plays a huge role in homosexuality along with our culture. How many times have we looked at someone and assumed they were gay merely because of their feminine or masculine traits? That happens daily. Now think back to 15 years ago. We didn't have internet and television corrupting our every thought and convincing us that someone was gay simply for the way they talked. I believe parenting and the media play a much larger role in pushing confused children over the edge in deciding their sexuality. I know plenty of feminine men that aren't gay, but I feel bad for them as many of them probably deal with ridicule daily (because they are supposed to be gay, according to our culture).

    Answer by LaurenMichele at 9:41 AM on May. 25, 2011

  • Going back to my initial argument, if for a moment you think the processed foods we eat and the tainted air we breath doesn't effect our abilities to create babies with the correct amounts of estrogen or testosterone, do a little research. Why do we have so many childhood cancers and diseases? That's simple, we over medicate, over process and poison our environment. So does this change the process in which a male or female decides his or her partner? It certainly does if they use all factors, including the cultural norms.

    Folks, it's not being born gay that's the problem it's being born with specific traits that are effected before we are born. The same thing can be said for a schizophrenic child or a baby born with cancer. Those are traits inherited due to our DNA failing us. So that said, it's possible to still be straight with the opposite traits, but at the end of the day we aren't here to judge. Let God decide!

    Answer by LaurenMichele at 9:47 AM on May. 25, 2011