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8 Bumps

Posted yesterday.. adult content

I was told yesterday that my baby doesn't have a heartbeat and is dead they said that the baby is 7wks and 4dys and thats running ontime with how far alone I am.. They couldn't find it on the a v/u/s. the doctors won't listen to me cause I had one back in the beginning of this month and they said I was around 5wks, I really want it to be a mistake has anyone been through this? My entire family acts like it's no big deal and I told the father of the baby he didn't want the baby in the first place he said he was real sorry but afterward won't respond to me at all... I feel so alone and I want a second opinion.. I've had no signs that I'm going to miscarry my breast are still sore I'm still tired. I've had no bleeding or spotting except when they did the pap yesterday and the doc said that was normal. I'm so lost I don't know what to think or do.. I don't know if waiting will help and I don't know if maybe if I get another opinion or another ultrasound in 5-7 days if the heart would show beating... I really doubt it will change but should I hold onto any hope? If it wasn't for my 4 year old I'd just kill myself my whole life has gone to shit and it just keeps falling apart even more.. Why doesn't my family act like they even care..?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:25 AM on May. 25, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • *hugs* if you ever need to talk, send me a message, I'll listen :)
    Chloesmom1126

    Answer by Chloesmom1126 at 3:10 AM on May. 25, 2011

  • Oh honey i'm so sorry,just for your sake and hope get another one.
    mamaofficer

    Answer by mamaofficer at 3:35 AM on May. 25, 2011

  • Have they tested your HCG? They do a blood draw, then another one 24-48 hours later and if your HCG levels are dropping then it is what's called a missed miscarriage. I went through being told my baby was dead despite feeling just fine and very pregnant, but I felt there may have been some mistake until my doctor assured me those numbers would not be dropping if baby was alive. In a missed miscarriage it can take your body a while to realize baby is gone, but make sure your doctor is able to make you feel confident that there is no mistake before doing anything. I'm so sorry about your loss, and especially your lack of support. There's a really great miscarriage support group on here or you can always send me a message if you need to talk. I'm so sorry, ((hugs))
    Ashes0813

    Answer by Ashes0813 at 4:03 AM on May. 25, 2011

  • they did blood well i guess yesterday and i'm suppose to go back next week and get blood drawn twice a week to see if my numbers drop.. i know deep down the baby is dead but i just don't want to believe it i want to get another opinion from another clinic and see what they say.. the baby was one of the best things i had going on in my life right now everything else just was shit.. i want to believe god has a reason for doing this but after everything i've been through the past few months its made me doubt him more and more and i know that wrong but i just can't help it..
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 4:10 AM on May. 25, 2011

  • Get all the opinions you need for your own sanity. I'd still be questioning my d&c to this day if I hadn't pushed for every second opinion and test possible before allowing it. I don't know why things like this happen, to me bad things happen as a result of free will and circumstance, not by God's choice.. but he has the ability to take something so awful and help bring something positive from it. Whether it be a new understanding or a window for another life there is a plan for you. If I hadn't lost my baby in Sept 09, I never could have conceived my youngest and as much as the loss hurt, I can't imagine life without her. Not only that, but if my mother hadn't lost a pregnancy right before conceiving me, there's no way me or my girls would be here today. He still has a plan for you, don't give up. I'm truly sorry for what you're going through, really I am.
    Ashes0813

    Answer by Ashes0813 at 4:39 AM on May. 25, 2011

  • at this point i really do want to give up if not for my daughter i'd gladly kill myself. in the past few months i went from being forced to get married getting hit and pushed and yelled at all the time, leaving him and falling in love with his best friend, they aren't friends anymore. getting pregnant by the friend while he has a gf quitting my job cause my soon to be ex wouldn't stop harassing me and stocking me, moving back to my grandparents, getting arrested for 2 warrants and now this... i get the feeling god doesn't love me or want me to go on living
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 4:54 AM on May. 25, 2011

  • I have been there. I was told there was no heart beat also. I waited a week. When I went back it was not good news. The embryo had collapsed. I do not regret waiting the week though. It was a terrible time for me. I was so alone. I opted for the D&C after that. My family acted like nothing had happened as did my estranged husband. We divorced a year later. I was so depressed and he wouldn't let me get counseling. He told me he didn't want a broken wife. I felt so broken too. I'm so sorry you are going through this. It's tough, but you are not alone. That was ten years ago. I have never just gotten over it. Later when I got counseling. I held an honorary funeral for my baby and wrote him many letters. I have a stone in my garden with his name carved into it. I lay flowers next to it often. I still believe in miracles, so don't give up on your baby. You are not alone
    Ms.Gwen

    Answer by Ms.Gwen at 11:01 AM on May. 25, 2011

  • I had the same thing happen to me and I had no symptoms of a miscarriage. The doctors that I seen were heartless because whenever they came in to tell me that I was having a miscarriage they told me and didnt tell how it happened. So I think you should get a second opinion because they could be wrong..I hope it does change for you after I had my first miscarriage I got lucky three months later and found out I was pregnant again.
    shelle21

    Answer by shelle21 at 11:55 AM on May. 25, 2011

  • **hugs** I had this happen to me as well. If you need to talk inbox me and I can give you more details...
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 12:25 PM on May. 25, 2011

  • I hope everything works out for you.
    LiLJeni

    Answer by LiLJeni at 9:00 PM on May. 25, 2011

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