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4 Bumps

Is there only so much a parent can do?

Are some kids just born to be bad? No matter how hard the parents try are some kids just going to be rotton? Do you think every murderer, rapist, or thug had bad parents?

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Asked by Shaken1976 at 8:54 AM on May. 25, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 20 (9,288 Credits)
Answers (20)
  • No, I don't think they all had bad parents, I'm sure some did. I think some people are genetically bad........but for the most part I do believe it is society and upbringing.

    Answer by Dahis at 8:58 AM on May. 25, 2011

  • In some instances there are bad parents that have these horrible kids. Then in some case the sweetest woman/man can have the same kids. Child may have some mental issues, there are many factors that can play into this. I know many thugs(where I grew up) who have some of the sweetest mothers you know, but something goes wrong. Many that I do know didn't have that male figure in their life, so some other thug became their father figure. As I said there are many variables.

    Answer by babygirl0782 at 9:00 AM on May. 25, 2011

  • Nature vs nurture is an age old dilemma. Having a child who is considered 'bad' I can tell you that we work our butts off to help her learn to behave but it's looking as though she has some form of mental disability that we and her school are trying to get diagnosed. I do get dirty looks from the parents of some of her classmates though who just assume that we're bad parents because of her behavior.

    Answer by Octobersmom at 9:01 AM on May. 25, 2011

  • I honestly believe *most* of your 'bad' children/adults have undiagnosed or under managed mental disorders. Parents who don't have yet or some may not even know how to get a diagnosis and adults who have given up on or chosen to forgo treatment. Schools anymore push to blame the parents rather than 'pay' for one more diagnosis and IEP. they push 'free' 504's that don;t serve as much good and don't offer the parents as much insight to possible problems. Plus teachers are afraid to tell a parent they have a concern for the child's mental health because the parents get defensive and law suit happy.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:10 AM on May. 25, 2011

  • Yes. I do think that there are a very few individuals that are truly crazy/disturbed.

    I am not sure that it has anything to do with the parents or being rotten. I think it would have to do with psychiatric help.

    EVERY is a big word. So no. Again, I do believe that being psychotic is not someones parents fault. With all that said...I do believe that in a lot of cases environment does play a HUGE roll in a child's life but ultimately we have free will. There are a lot of people that have pulled themselves up from dark places (bad parents/up bringing) and had wonderful lives, more so than became killers and such.

    Answer by sipn_mom at 9:11 AM on May. 25, 2011

  • I do think it's a combination of lots of things: genetic predisposition (not to be "bad' but maybe to be impatient, high-energy, unable to concentrate), parents, friends, society, drugs/chemicals, coincidences, a few random words people say that have profound effect...

    Personally, I think it's about thirds-- 1/3 genetics nobody knows how to counteract (sometimes even therapists), 1/3 parents can control, 1/3 society, chemicals, etc. But I'm willing to be swayed on that

    Answer by Tracys2 at 9:12 AM on May. 25, 2011

  • I have a child that has a mental health disorder. I try to be the best parent I can be, but I find that her condition works against my best efforts.

    I do believe that both bad parenting and MH issues cause most of the bad things people do.


    Answer by JSD24 at 9:46 AM on May. 25, 2011

  • I believe that many people are a product of their environment. There are those who have true mental disorders. But I think mental disorders are the minority. I'm sure there is a few criminals out there that and decent parents, however i believe that is also a minority.

    Again, I believe many people are a product of the environment they are raised in, and the choice they make. One poor choice can lead to a cascade of many poor choices.

    Answer by daughteroftruth at 11:09 AM on May. 25, 2011

  • Yes, there is only so much a parent can do. You can raise a child then you have to let go and let God handle the rest.

    Answer by tasches at 4:43 PM on May. 25, 2011

  • I was bad as a child. At least that's what my mom said. But little did she know I was being abused right under her nose. I allowed what ppl did to me make me hate everything. I finally grew out of it. My son also had some issues. Was on ADHD mess. And he is doing well and no longer takes those either. I think they just need extra attention and to be validated as good kids. If someone told u, u r bad all the time wldnt u star to believe it?

    Answer by startingover777 at 8:19 PM on May. 25, 2011

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