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Stay at home mom who needs a babysitter: part 2.

I am making this a second part becuase it got so long that I know people dont like to read past the first page lol...

I got alot of comments saying that I dont know if the baby has something wrong with her ( meaning the mom wants me to keep her son while she tends to the baby) , or that she is depressed...

I DO KNOW that the baby doesnt have any sort of medical problem that warrants special care , she had jaundice when she was first born but that is it...

You guys are right in not knowing if she could have PPD or something, BUT i really dont believe so... she takes the baby to the park ( I guess just for the baby swings) , she goes to playdates, and even visits family -- all without her son ( who is actually of the age that would benefit from those sorts of things) .

Do you know how odd it is for me to take my kids and her son to the park only to "run into" her there with her younger child...

Or to call to say that my kids are sick and maybe she shouldnt bring him over , but she will say " its ok, he will be fine".

obviously something is going on, as to why she treats him like this... and it bothers me so much that I cant help but think about it....

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:44 AM on May. 25, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Answers (15)
  • I think it isnt any of your business why she wants/needs a sitter. If you are not comfortable with it than quit.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 9:51 AM on May. 25, 2011

  • Sounds to me like she doesn't want to deal with both the baby that you watch and her 'younger child' that you see her with at the park at the same time. Does the 'younger child' have issues? DD has ADHD and I didn't always have the confidence to bring her out with her brothers - especially when they were infants. How does the 'younger child' act with the baby?

    JSD24

    Answer by JSD24 at 9:52 AM on May. 25, 2011

  • I hope you are firm about not watching him when your kids are sick. I am not sure there is anything you can do but quit...and she will just find someone else to watch him. On a positive note....maybe he is better off with you watching him so he can get some attention.
    PsychicSherry

    Answer by PsychicSherry at 9:52 AM on May. 25, 2011

  • Its time for you to say something to her either she is overwhelmed or she is throwing her son to the side for the new child? Either way she has to know he feels it and maybe its time to say something is the father there maybe its time for you to talk to him as well.
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 9:55 AM on May. 25, 2011

  • If you don't feel comfortable with the situation don't babysit for her.
    chaiteamomma

    Answer by chaiteamomma at 10:02 AM on May. 25, 2011

  • he acts well with my child )( who is 6 months - her baby is 8 months, but I have never really seen him interact with her- )but he acts very well with mine, he helps me out actually ( he will get the wipes and diapers, he likes to make a "bed" beside the crib so he can nap beside the baby) .... so

    It is my business if I care about him and he isn't being treated right... if she ignores him in public I am sure she ignores him in private.... Since I am close friends with her mother in law and her aunt i know that she also makes him go to sleep at 6 ( he leaves me house at 5:30) , which involves LOCKING him in his room until he falls asleep ( she said she unlocks it after he is asleep) ...

    Alos the fact that I do get paid, this is considered my job, and I do reply on the money....

    I care for him alot, I need paid, and I am just worried ( why I am making this post so i can get other insight as to why she would do this) ..
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:04 AM on May. 25, 2011

  • Instead of putting this to strangers when you claim to know so much about her from relatives, who apparently don't see a problem or else they'd be getting involved, why don't you talk to her?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:07 AM on May. 25, 2011

  • I have talked to her and we have ALL talked to her.... she sees no problem with it and doesn't think she is doing anything wrong, she also gives no "excuse" and just acts like it is the "normal" thing to do. Whenever her MIl has said something about it, she is then basically "punished" and unable to see the baby for a period of time. Her aunt just says " she was always a selfish kid too".

    I may be asking strangers, but I am asking Moms, some who might understand her thinking or have acted similar. ( which would be the best ones to get advice from)
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:13 AM on May. 25, 2011

  • I can't say why this mom is acting this way, but I'll share my own experience....Years ago I was a nanny for boy/girl twins. They were wonderful kids, but mom was a piece of work. She obviously favored the boy over the girl. She NEVER bought new clothes for the girl or new shoes, instead the girl had to wear her brother's hand-me-downs. She forced the girl to drink milk-based formula b/c that's what her brother drank & it was easier to just buy one kind, yet the formula made the girl sick. If anybody gave her a cute outfit or toys for the girl, they were given away within a month, but the boy got to keep all of his stuff. There is more crap that she did to both kids b/c she really didn't want them & was very career-oriented (only had them b/c the dad, who was never there, wanted a kid - go figure - and he only wanted one child, a son). I couldn't prove neglect, so I left the job. I couldn't take it anymore.
    mom2aspclboy

    Answer by mom2aspclboy at 10:39 AM on May. 25, 2011

  • This is a really sad situation. So if he leaves at 5:30 pm from your house and she puts him to bed at 6pm when does he have time to eat dinner???? He probably lays in bed crying because he is starving. How old is this little boy?
    Maybe she doesnt want the kid, maybe you can talk to her about signing her rights over and adopting him as your own? I see stuff like this happen all the time in my state (ohio) on tv about parents who abuse their kids by locking them in closets,bathrooms, bedrooms....cooking them in microwave (yes this has happened and the lady is still on trial for the death of her tiny innocent baby ) . Its sickning to watch the news anymore cause all you see is children being abused.
    Maybe the mother is going through post pardum depression and feels resentment towards the older child??? I dont know but i will be praying for this little boy. Does he ever have bruises or anything on him??? I wish you luck
    Amberlovesher3

    Answer by Amberlovesher3 at 11:07 AM on May. 25, 2011

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