Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

How to adopt relative & terminate mom's rights completely? nephew has been living with me for going on 3 yrs....

with very little contact with his mother. only when its convenient for her. she's been saying the entire time that she'll be ready to take him back soon....but never gets job or does anything. (in out of jail) probation. etc. has 3 kids with 3 diff family members now. how can i adopt him and have her rights terminated. i don't want to have to bring him to her every time its convienient for her.... holidays etc. I'm not divorced and dont want to deal with "another mom" but i want to help my nephew.... :( I have two young babies of my own - and I don't wnat her drama in my childrens lives.... :( or my marriage. the childs father is deceased.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:49 AM on May. 25, 2011 in Adoption

Answers (20)
  • She has to not have seen him for one yr and not paid child support or shown any interest whatsoever.

    Answer by gemgem at 10:52 AM on May. 25, 2011

  • Well, you'd have to petition the court. But I must warn you, get a good lawyer because she'll probably fight you. It's not easy to take someone's parental rights away. You will have to prove beyond reasonable doubt that she absolutley should not parent. But unless there is abuse or neglect on her part where the child was injured, it's gonna be tough.

    I would sit down and have a one on one discussion with mom about your plans. Ask her how she feels about relinquishing. That would probably be your first step.

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 10:52 AM on May. 25, 2011

  • In this state you can't. Parents must willingly sign a Termination of Parental Rights or be taken to court to prove they are unfit. And that is hard to do. If she has had any contact with the child regardless to how infrequent courts determine she has not abandoned him. They will give her chance after chance to get her life together because many judges/courts think the child(ren) are always better off with the biological parent. Hopefully you have guardianship which makes it a little easier, but no much. I know this because I am living that life. GOOD LUCK


    Answer by meooma at 10:55 AM on May. 25, 2011

  • call an attorney who specializes in adoption and family law... only a court can terminate parental rights, and usually only occurs if CPS is involved in the case and the child has been in state custody... you could possibly file for custody on the basis of abandonment and best interest of the child with a petition/motion to terminate and adopt..

    Answer by girlglow6 at 10:57 AM on May. 25, 2011

  • we don't get any child support from her or anything. she just asked us to take her child - and we did a few years go. she signed temporary custody papers... so we could deal with dr's and school etc. she hasn't paid for anything for him. she asks US for money! (which we don't give her) she has seen him - but very little. would neglect involve not being able to have her kids living with her, not being able to support them for 2+ years....? child services has been called to her house a few times but nothing happens. she has dui's no license, probation, was recently arrested (again)....

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:58 AM on May. 25, 2011

  • The state now has a new program called "kinship care" that actually pays you for the first 6 months of care and eventually help you with adoption -- But they have to be wards of the state because their parents are unable or unwilling to care for them. If you were to report this situation, they could assist you. And dont worry, they will not take him away from you unless they had concerns with YOUR home. Good luck!

    Answer by BaileysMom476 at 10:58 AM on May. 25, 2011

  • how do i report? to who???

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:03 AM on May. 25, 2011

  • Are there any social workers involved? They can tell you what to do next in your area. Our's was a wealth of information. We have a similar situation. My distant cousin should be my son by Nov. Best wishes.

    Answer by ochsamom at 11:22 AM on May. 25, 2011

  • no one is involved... :( i don't know what to do - who to report to.... or WHAT to report?

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:34 AM on May. 25, 2011

  • idk what state your in, but your local children's protective services, department of children and family services.. not all states have a kinship program, new mexico does- and they pay you the whole time you have them provide medical and continue services after adoption.. texas has one but i dont thin they hellp with expenses for family care.. just depends on where you are..

    Answer by girlglow6 at 11:34 AM on May. 25, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.