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5 Bumps

Is it wrong that I want a weekend without company??

We moved into my FIL's old house a few months ago to be closer to him. He lives in a nursing home now. THere is a lot of work to be done to the place. All we have been doing for weeks is cleaning, painting, sorting, and dealing with FIL who keeps deteriorating every day. My dh works out of state. I only see him on the weekends. We've had people over here every weekend. It's been chaos. I'm not saying I don't want to work on the house. But we live here, and my family needs a break! Now another family member wants to come over this weekend to do more work on the house. Personally, dh wants to do this type of work on his own at his descretion seeing as we will be buying the home, and be responsible for it's maintenence. We feel like we are being told how to live. And feel like certain family members are rushing us to do things to the house that aren't neccessary right this moment. I love my family dearly, but we are getting overwhelmed. I told them this and they said too bad. I feel like I live in a house where family thinks they can just show up and do whatever because it isn't in our name. I want a break. I'm overwhelmed, and need one weekend to myself. Is this wrong?


Asked by Anonymous at 11:22 AM on May. 25, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • Hunny, time to bring out your inner-b*tch. Just tell them, whoever it may be, family or not that you aren't doing ANYTHING this weekend and if they show up, the door will be shut in their face. You need a break. If they can't respect you, they are no longer welcome.
    Here's a favorite quote of mine "All problems become smaller if you don't dodge them, but confront them."

    Answer by sweetiepye2004 at 2:18 PM on May. 25, 2011

  • Time to set some boundaries, and it will piss people off. You deserve downtime.

    Answer by pookiekins34 at 11:24 AM on May. 25, 2011

  • No it isn't, you and your family deserve to have a break...and some time alone for goodness sake. The family should respect rude of them. It may not be in your names, but at the moment, it is your home where you are residing. They need to back off, too much is too much. I'd have the locks changed if others have keys and when they show up, I'd kindly ask them to leave and close the door on them since you have already told them you need a weekend off. You aren't asking too much, you already sound like you have so much on your plate...everyone needs a break at some point. GL momma

    Answer by sdks2011 at 11:28 AM on May. 25, 2011

  • Tell this is a family weekend. That you guys haven't had any ALONE time. and that if you don't get it soon you are gonna go nuts.

    Answer by Shaken1976 at 11:26 AM on May. 25, 2011

  • You are totally reasonable to want a break and some time to yourself. This is your home right now, so regardless of whose name it's in you deserve to have a break from the chaos and a chance tor relax. You are going to have to be firm and reply with a "Too bad" of your own to the rest of the family. You might as well set your boundaries now and establish your authority otherwise the whole time you live in the house will be a nightmare. Good luck to you!

    Answer by MaryMW at 11:31 AM on May. 25, 2011

  • No way!! Yikes i think the bitch would come out in me if I were in your shows, especially if i was told "too bad". I say park your car down the street, and lock yourselves in the house! Or do like an hour or so out of town and have some family time.

    Answer by DJsMommy610 at 11:25 AM on May. 25, 2011

  • Tell his family you are taking the weekend for yourselves and stick to it. If he doesn't want the help he needs to let them know.

    Answer by scout_mom at 11:28 AM on May. 25, 2011

  • They come over because FIL used to live there and maybe they come for the memories and feel they have a right to be there the man is slipping away and yes its not conveinient and yes maybe you should tell them what time they can come over and tell them kindly it is your house now. But I would be firm but still kind they are losing a man love and respect.

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 11:29 AM on May. 25, 2011

  • No it is not wrong. When you moved in to be with FIL you took on the responsibilities, not them. Also, this is DH family, so he must be the buffer not you. The family most likely will listen if you two take a stand together at the same time. Don't let anyone in. I have to ask an uncomfortable question; Are they coming around because of his failing health? Or are they coming around because his failing health may lead to property division and financial gain and they want their hands in it? You are more than entitled to some free time to take a break. Best to you.

    Answer by Aneya at 11:38 AM on May. 25, 2011

  • Could it be that they want to sell it when your FIL passes?

    Answer by JLS2388 at 11:57 AM on May. 25, 2011