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2 Bumps

Why does it seem the custodial parent is the only parent who seems to be expected to follow the court order and guidelines set up by CPS while with the NCP, it's "well at least their trying" ?????

So I have seen on here in the last couple days where mom's who are the CP of the children on one here questioning some of the practices the NCP does in their home. One woman was upset that her children would be sleeping on the floor all summer long and there were women telling her to get over it that her kids were spoiled brats (you know, cause they didn't want to sleep on the floor like animals all summer long) Another women who was upset that he child's father had is new GF spending the night while he child was there and another women upset because she found out SM was spending 90% of the time with the children during dad's visit when she has Right of First Refusal and another women up set because her ex wanted to pay less child support because he kept having more children he couldn't afford with his lifestyle. All these women were pretty much told "get over it" however, if THEY had gone against the CO we would be fully supporting the SM on here talking about how ex wants to take legal actions against her for it. Why is it that if mom didn't have a bed for each child, her children would be taken from her and placed with dad but yet dad doesn't have a bed for them all summer and that's fine cause "he's doing his best". Why is it OK dad to leave the kids with someone else to go out with his friends yet if mom did that she would be an awful mother. Why the double standard, why shouldn't the NCP be held to the same standards of the CP, especially because they only have to do it EOW where the CP has to do it the rest of the time?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:15 PM on May. 25, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Answers (8)
  • Because the custodial parent has them all the time and they are expected to live like they are full time parents? And noncustodials only get the kids EOW? Thats my best bet.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:17 PM on May. 25, 2011

  • But why doesn't the parent have to act like and provide for the child like a parent while they have the child? Why is is ok for the NCP to do whatever they want (as long as they aren't abusing the child) while the CP has to follow the order to a T
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:19 PM on May. 25, 2011

  • Its bullshit, thats why. When my husband was going for custody of his daughter, we were required to have the same set-up as if she lived with us full time (and he was only getting visitations). Every state is different, but every state is f*cked up.
    Kari727

    Answer by Kari727 at 12:21 PM on May. 25, 2011

  • That's a good question my ex son in law has his son and is expected to follow the orders to a T but my step daughter when she has my grandson gets to do whatever she wants even allowing her new husband to abuse my grandson and the other grandsons that she does have custody of. Very good questions to which we probably don't have the answers to I just hope that this 3rd time of them going to court for custody is the last time and that his lawyer gets it stopped for a long time. If this is happening to you you have my deepest sympathy as I really don't know what to tell you. Life isn't fair that's for sure.
    Moms_Angels1960

    Answer by Moms_Angels1960 at 12:27 PM on May. 25, 2011

  • sorry but you cant avoid the double standard, it is everywhere! my husband was only 14 when his ex was 18 almost 19 when she got pregnant, shouldnt she have been found accountable for having sex with a minor just like a guy would have the other way around?...she wasnt, instead at the age of almost 15 he was served child support papers and also papers suing him to pay for her doctor bills, even though he was in high school and she had already graduated a year before... to this time she still lives with her parents who pay all the bills; even though she gets welfare,her sons medical bills are paid by his father,she recieves child support and has a full time job..... and my husband has been out on his own paying all of his own bills 'like a real adult' since high school, we have had a bed & room for his son for the last 9 years yet he only gets him 2 weekends a month.... nothing is fair
    RobinEsMommy

    Answer by RobinEsMommy at 12:56 PM on May. 25, 2011

  • I have wondered the same thing. I'm glad I'm not in a custody battle or having to share custody of our kids with anyone, because I think I would go nuts!
    lovingmy4babies

    Answer by lovingmy4babies at 1:35 PM on May. 25, 2011

  • I can look at it from both sides I have custody of all 3 of my kids and my fiance has joint of his son. However, when his son is over he spends most of his time with me because he doesn't go to daycare when he's here. That's what he decided to do because he doesn't want his son being taken care of by someone else and he knows I will care for him the way he would want. However my ex thinks he can get my kids when he's busy living in a camper that's over 20 yrs old and has no running vehicle, no car seats, and a job that pays minimum wage and can't even pay $380 a month in child support for all 3 kids.

    Like another poster said each state is different and they all have poor versions of justice.
    KDBeckham

    Answer by KDBeckham at 9:13 AM on May. 26, 2011

  • My experience has been the opposite. That the NCP is expected to obey all the court orders and to bend over backwards to accommodate the other parent, while the CP can pretty much escape with literally breaking the CO, especially if they are women.
    lilangilyn

    Answer by lilangilyn at 8:46 PM on May. 28, 2011

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