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Moms who had miscarriages/stillbirths

What do you do yo get through those "bad days?"
In september it'll be 4 yrs since my son was born stillborn(sept 11th) and sometimes i have good days and bad days but today is a bad day.
I wish i had somebody to talk to about it sometimes but it seems like that support that use to be there has faded...i guess I'm supposed to be "over it" since its going on 4 yrs but i dont think you'll ever get over losing a child. I just deal with it.
What do you do to help with those bad days?

Answer Question
 
kyheavensmom

Asked by kyheavensmom at 12:39 PM on May. 25, 2011 in Pregnancy

Level 18 (5,660 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • I would say try to celebrate the good instead of lingering on the bad, but I'm not sure how ell that will work here. If you're still missing him, allow yourself to grieve. Not everything is happiness and rainbows and light. BE sad. BE mad. BE heartbroken. Let it all out. The more you try to hide it and bottle it all up the worse it will get.

    I know it's not the same, but my paternal grandmother, a woman that is the first mother figure I can remember, passed away 14 years ago. I STILL miss her like it was yesterday. Time does NOT heal wounds. Time just makes the pain more bearable.
    Rosehawk

    Answer by Rosehawk at 12:46 PM on May. 25, 2011

  • I had a miscarriage 31 years ago.........I still periodically think about it, but time and faith got me through it originally. God Bless you mama! Look online for support groups maybe?
    Dahis

    Answer by Dahis at 12:46 PM on May. 25, 2011

  • do u have any other children. maybe if u did it'll help fill a little of this hole u have, keep yourself busy. bad memories are really hard. i hope u get through this.
    fefe87

    Answer by fefe87 at 12:47 PM on May. 25, 2011

  • It's only been a few months for me (October of last year) but I do still think about it a lot. Especially since we are going to start TTC next month. Do you have any real life friends that have been through this? Maybe some laid back ones that don't mind you bringing it up? Sorry I don't have better advice on the subject yet but I'm just trying to get through it same as you. You can always message me about it if you want to.
    lisalmeyer86

    Answer by lisalmeyer86 at 12:51 PM on May. 25, 2011

  • There are groups here on CafeMom for mothers who have lost children. You might look into joining a group and connecting with other moms who know exactly how you feel. I am so so very sorry you lost your baby and I hope your day gets better from here. ((Hugs))
    CaseyErin

    Answer by CaseyErin at 1:11 PM on May. 25, 2011

  • Hugs!!! I had a miscarriage in 2004 and there are still times when that makes me feel sad. I don't have anyone to talk to about it, as none of my friends have had a loss, and family - well as you said think it is long since over and done with. So when I am feeling sad I sit down and count my blessings-- things that I am thankful and grateful for.
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 1:14 PM on May. 25, 2011

  • Thanx ladies for the support and advice! My husband just so happened to call me and he was very encouraging. I feel alot better.i know he's in a much better place, but it still hurts sometimes you know? But Im strong and I know Gods a healer so ill ne fine!
    @ Lisalmyer86 sure I will inbox you and whenever u want to talk you can do the same!
    kyheavensmom

    Comment by kyheavensmom (original poster) at 1:23 PM on May. 25, 2011

  • I'm going through my third m/c right now. My second m/c, they baby was due may 8th, mothers day.... It was such a hard day. Not a day goes by that I dont think about what could have been. I dont have many people to talk about it with, but there are alot of ladies on here that are more then willing to listen and talk about what you've been through. Im here if you would like to talk. Its such a hard thing to get through, but I bet your a strong woman and you can do this! Thinkin' of you :)
    jmgblair10

    Answer by jmgblair10 at 3:56 PM on May. 25, 2011

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