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Am I overreacting? I am at work full time (6 days a week). Husband is home with occasional side job (less than once a week)....

Today is my day off. I have been working 6 days a week. I was excited because I had a list of things I wanted to get done, gardening being one of them. I am so ticked because I have spent all morning and afternoon cleaning. The house is a MESS and I am only about half done. Now I have to start dinner and my son has a game so my day is done. I woke up to a sink full of dishes. Counters and tables dirty, bedrooms trashed, bathroom trashed...and so backed up on laundry etc....

To clear a few things...before I went to work yesterday I cleaned up and did some yard work. The reason I am so mad...when he is the one working and I cleaned the house all day he gets bent out of shape when I wasn't able to get to one room. Am I overreacting and what would you say? I do not want to start a fight but I am brewing a storm!!!

Answer Question
 
AmyLynn5398

Asked by AmyLynn5398 at 3:09 PM on May. 25, 2011 in Relationships

Level 17 (3,564 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • Tell him to shit or get off the pot!!!!!!!!!!!!! You are not overreacting.........
    Dahis

    Answer by Dahis at 3:11 PM on May. 25, 2011

  • I would be pissed.
    emmyandlisa

    Answer by emmyandlisa at 3:11 PM on May. 25, 2011

  • I don't think you will be able to avoid an argument. Give him a list of things you expect him to do when he stays home and you work. Be assertive, don't be wishy washy, don't ask, TELL. If you need to explain why this is necessary. That is exactly how I would do it, honestly.
    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 3:11 PM on May. 25, 2011

  • He needs to pull his weight. I would be pissed. My DH and I both work full time. We both work on keeping the house clean. If one of us is off for a day we have an understanding that it is our day off....But if we take off a week to sit at home then we need to be doing something.
    Shaken1976

    Answer by Shaken1976 at 3:11 PM on May. 25, 2011

  • I don't sugarcoat, so fight or not I would tell him he needs to help more around the house if he is home most of the time.. If he refuses to step up, hire a cleaning service once a week, they are pretty cheap in my area..
    midnightmoma

    Answer by midnightmoma at 3:14 PM on May. 25, 2011

  • It's time to have an honest chat. Get yourself prepared with a day by day list of what you want done and rank the jobs in order from most pressing to less important. If you are the one who is primarily making the living for the family, your husband should be pulling his share of the load at home. If he wants to switch those roles, then tell him you will be fine with that, but some changes have to be made. Once you get your plans drawn up and have presented them, do not come home from work and do what he was supposed to have done while you were gone. If the trash gets waist deep and there are no clean dishes, sit on your butt and wait for him to take care of it. I think it would help you to read the book BOUNDARIES IN MARRIAGE by Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend. You need to set some and then you need to enforce them, so happy writing!!
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 3:15 PM on May. 25, 2011

  • Wait until you are not totally po'd, and bring this up as something you need to address. Next time, let the housework go and get your list done. Let DH catch back up on the housework while you are at work.
    riotgrrl

    Answer by riotgrrl at 3:17 PM on May. 25, 2011

  • You're completely justified in how you feel and even though you'd prefer to avoid a fight, sometimes it's inevitable. My husband works slightly less than I do so he will help out around the house though I'm borderline OCD when it comes to certain things so I give him a pass on cleaning so long as he occupies the kids so I can clean without interruption. Of course things weren't like that in the beginning, even though his mom made sure all her sons knew how to clean up after themselves and do their own laundry DH though now that he had a wife who could do all those things he'd hav a break which I was fine with until we had kids then it became a lot more to clean and I finally went off on him when I came home to a sink full of dishes, clothes all over the bathroom and another three overflowing laundry baskets of dirty clothes and him complaining he had no clean pants or shirts!

    anon1986East

    Answer by anon1986East at 3:17 PM on May. 25, 2011

  • I don't think you are overreacting. If he is at home he should clean up too... or he can go get a job to help you pay for daycare (if you need it, not sure how old your kids are). He should help clean up or get out of the house so it will be less dirty. You shouldn't have to clean your whole day off! That sucks, good luck mommy.
    lisalmeyer86

    Answer by lisalmeyer86 at 4:14 PM on May. 25, 2011

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