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3 Bumps

Seriously... Isn't it part of parenthood?!

My sil and bil have a new 8 day old baby boy... But they have not been by themselves, since coming home, a week ago. My fil just left here, he wanted to see my kids, and said, " well gotta go watch the other grand baby" my sil asked him to come watch colton so her and her dh could sleep... Isn't part of parenthood learning to deal with functioning sleep deprived?! I could understand if they both worked, but she is obviously still at home, and doesn't work outside the home. All she has to do is watch her son... We got her a gift card for a maid for a year service for her shower.... I'm just blown away at how they keep pushing their new son on everyone... Is it odd, or just me? And yes my fil was complaining, but like he said, he would rather help than something happen, but I think she might be a little depressed. She even texted me saying she was done BF because she hated that people kept passing him back to her saying, here he is hungry... Again part of parenthood right?! Sorry for the vent and rambling,

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:01 PM on May. 25, 2011 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (26)
  • I agree! I had no one to come help me so I could sleep. That is just part of it. Maybe she is dealing with depression, and she needs to get help for it right away. After 7 years, I still do not get a lot of help! They are my children after all, not anyone else's responsibility.
    AngieBry

    Answer by AngieBry at 6:06 PM on May. 25, 2011

  • Hmmm, all I ever hear is you should take any help you can get the first weeks. Apparently if you actually get help then you aren't a good mother or something.
    I wouldn't know. I never had any help but my husband. I would have loved for someone to come help us so we could get some sleep but our friends and family felt having to go sleepless and depressed was a good punishment for having another baby.
    justanotherjen

    Answer by justanotherjen at 6:11 PM on May. 25, 2011

  • oooh. Colton haha.. Makes more sense haha.. sorry
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 6:06 PM on May. 25, 2011

  • Personally I think its part of being a parent to learn how to deal with the lack of sleep, the crying, and everything that goes along with having a baby. If they had the baby they should be willing to do the parenting. Grandparents are there to help every once in awhile but honestly, they raised their kids so its time for your BIL and SIL to raise their kids. I had my first at 18 and I have NEVER pawned my kids on anyone I do it all and work VERY hard to do a good job. And I had one with Incredibly terrible colic, an allergy to milk, and asthma. I dont understand how parents can do that, hopefully things get better but at some point if they dont, everyone needs to start saying no to doing it all for her because its her responsibility.
    husky_grlie08

    Answer by husky_grlie08 at 6:13 PM on May. 25, 2011

  • Sounds to me like your sil may be overwhelmed with the arrival of her son. Maybe your sil is suffering from postpartum depression. If family is willing to help her out, she should accept all the help she can get. Everyone parents differently does not make her a bad mom.

    mommiedear

    Answer by mommiedear at 6:13 PM on May. 25, 2011

  • The baby is 8 days old. Mom is probably very overwhelmed and hormonal. Not everyone adjusts to being exhausted all of the time. And whether they were trying for a while or not at all is truly irrelevant. What you know logically about being a parent and how it is for you when the time comes are often completely different. She is probably so overwhelmed that she just needs a hug and for someone to say, yes baby is hungry all of the time, but it will get easier. Your milk is just coming in and takes 6 weeks to regulate.

    There were times I was out of my mind with exhaustion and dealing with a brand new baby while DH was at work. On top of it he had severe reflux and a dairy allergy that took 6 months to diagnose. I took sleep where I could get it - from a well meaning babysitting friends or on the rare occasion that he actually napped.
    balagan_imma

    Answer by balagan_imma at 6:34 PM on May. 25, 2011

  • They named the baby COTTON? WOW!~ lol!~
    Well she could still have the baby blues or even PPD in which some Mothers don't even want to be close to their Babies but don't know why so they don't express it.. I would sit and talk to her about it. My mom helped me because my son was colic from day#3 and ALL he did was cry all day and then added the colic episodes ,.. it was more than I could mentally prepare myself for and I was 29 and FULLY prepared, I thought.. Maybe you could go over and talk with her and see what's really going on.
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 6:04 PM on May. 25, 2011

  • Sounds spoiled to me. I know women like that and part of me is jealous that everyone caters to them but most of me is pitying them because the longer it takes reality to slap them in the face, the harder it will be.
    My cousin's wife is a SAHM and her MIL (my aunt) works full time, but babysits 3x a week so she can hve time to herself.
    Spoiled spoiled spoiled
    Nicoles2LilRams

    Answer by Nicoles2LilRams at 6:05 PM on May. 25, 2011

  • No, it's not part of parenting because everyone parents differently and not everyone parents like you or enjoys being a parent like you or likes infants like you did. If they need help they need help, forcing her to be the parent you want her to be would likely result in another yates situation. Maybe she didn't want a baby or never planned on getting pregnant or is depressed. Your family can see the warning signs 8 days into it, what are you doing to help?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:05 PM on May. 25, 2011

  • Colton hon!
    Sounds like they had no clue what babies are like.
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 6:05 PM on May. 25, 2011

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