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13 Bumps

My DH just admited to having sex with another woman the night before our wedding three months ago

and he says he wasn't going to 'hurt me like that' ,meaning tell me except she is pregnant and wants child support. I want a divorce! Can I sue him for alimony or to get the 10,000 my parents just spent on a wedding back? He says he never cheated on me while we were dating and hasn't since he says his brother put him up to it because it was his 'last hurrah'. He says he is sorry and I told him 'sure enough your sorry. You are a sorry ass excuse for a husband! Better yet! Ia m pregnant to. I just found out 2 days ago I was going to tell him this weekend. What the Hell do I do? I want a divorce but should I give hima chance? I love him still I just don't want to be lied to. Once a cheater always a cheater right? Or was it really just a bachelor thing? OMG I am going nuts! I am trying not to call my mom until I have things figures out. She will freak and not help me any at all.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:06 PM on May. 25, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (55)
  • O lord, I'd walk. It took him 3 months to tell you... Dang I'd be pissed, hurt... I'd be done. Sorry he did this to you, but now that that woman has come out and said she is pregnant, that woman will be in you and dhs life for ever... Is that something you can deal with?
    BabyBugsmama

    Answer by BabyBugsmama at 7:08 PM on May. 25, 2011

  • Wow, I don't know what to say but he should take a paternity test to make sure the baby is his.

    Simplicity3

    Answer by Simplicity3 at 7:09 PM on May. 25, 2011

  • He sounds like a jerk. I'd run.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:09 PM on May. 25, 2011

  • There is no excuse for what he did. That said, if you think you will someday forgive him, try to get some counseling and see how it goes.
    Kimedbs

    Answer by Kimedbs at 7:10 PM on May. 25, 2011

  • Yeah, I'd probably leave. You could probably have the marriage annuled as well due to the fact you were unaware of this indiscretion at the time and it's so early. This is not the sign of someone who wants a family. Your marriage will be confusing and crazy as well if you stay. Littly Billy will have a brother from another mother. I'd sue for child support as well. Don't feel bad for him.
    Musicmom80

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 7:10 PM on May. 25, 2011

  • – collapse
    You can't get alimony or the 10k back, honestly I would abort and kick him to the curb. It's not just that he cheated, it's that he's having a child with this woman, she and the child will be in your life FOREVER!!! You will have to be nice to the child, which even though sounds easy may be a lot harder then you can anticipate, and have to see her face and her child as a reminder of his infidelity. GL, I'm sorry you're in this position :(
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:11 PM on May. 25, 2011 (hidden) + expand

  • I don't think I could handle it.
    Who was she? A hooker/dancer or a regular gal?
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 7:11 PM on May. 25, 2011

  • I think I would take some time to cool down so you can reassess the situation. I am not saying that you shouldn't get a divorce but it would not be a bad idea to try to figure things out for yourself. I don'[t think that you would wind up with alimony for being married such a short time. If you really love him then you COULD work things out but that does no mean that is the right things for you.
    Melbornj

    Answer by Melbornj at 7:12 PM on May. 25, 2011

  • Id be pissed about him doing it but the deal breaker for me would be that it took 3 months and him knowing shes preggers to tell you. I do believe that cheaters can change their ways but I think if you lie like that to someone your supposed to love and loves you you dont deserve to have them... JMO
    My_3_Babies

    Answer by My_3_Babies at 7:12 PM on May. 25, 2011

  • If you stay with him, you are going to have to deal with this child forever and the mother, she will be calling your DH to talk about their child. It will be a constant reminder. I am not telling you to get divorced but I want to you understand that if you stay unless God forbid she looses the baby or has an abortion, this child will always be around. Get some info first though. Have him tell her before she gets a dime there WILL be a paternity test (as someone who will randomly hook up like that probably does it often) and make sure she knows he is not going to be with her. I would also ask for proof of pregnancy and a copy of the ultrasound that will have the estimated date of conception (if it is more then a day before he had sex with her or a week after, it's not his). I am so sorry for you and I am honestly starting to cry thinking about this. Tell him about your little one though.....
    JLS2388

    Answer by JLS2388 at 7:13 PM on May. 25, 2011

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