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SAHMs.. Do you find it weird buying SO a Christmas gift with no personal income?

Yeah, I know it's basically considered "our" money.. but I still feel weird about it. What do you do?


Asked by Anonymous at 6:23 PM on Dec. 8, 2008 in Money & Work

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • That's great to hear you're so well taken care of there, ladysavage! I wish it was the same here in the states! Awesome :D

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:32 PM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • It's different where I live (Ireland) - in that SAHMs are provided with benefits for themselves and each child they have -- you don't apply for it, it comes to you automatically whether you really need it, or are a secret millionaire!

    So I get a weekly check for me, a monthly check for my DD, and a quarterly lump sum for mhy DD each year.

    Yep, SAHMs are treated well in Ireland.

    Answer by ladysavage at 6:29 PM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • No because yes he's is actually going out to work I work from home (I'm the maid, cook, mother, wife, doctor, postal worker, banker, booboo kisser, and hug giver). That's why I don't feel guilty.

    Answer by rocamom at 6:33 PM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • I don't think that it's so much guilt...I can't really pinpoint the exact emotion but I know what you mean. I wish that I could have my own money and go out and secretly buy him a present but the only way that I could do that is to use my credit card, which he pays off anyway. It's a hard position but since we're tight on money this year, we've decided that for Christmas we are going to write eachother love letters instead of buying gifts. Now that's something that I don't need money of my own to get him.

    Answer by hgibsonorc at 6:46 PM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • *OP* I didn't mean ''guilt'', it just makes me feel kinda sleazy.. I think I'm going to do some houswork or yardwork for my folks to earn a little bit of money.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:56 PM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • I only stayed home for a year, but we just don't give gifts to each other. We're not hurting for anything, and bringing more junk into the house for the sake of gift giving (at least for us) we just don't want to do. I wouldn't feel guilty about spending the money though, you do support him through the year by taking care of the kids and house.

    Answer by kabbot01 at 10:36 PM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • no i dont feel guilty or weird buying him a gift with his money. the other day he told me that really i am doing a service for him by staying home. i keep the whole house running so he can focus on his career at work and then come home and just relax and play with our children and just help out with the little things. besides odds are i am going to buy him something he needs but wont buy for himself.

    Answer by tiffanyv123 at 5:54 AM on Dec. 9, 2008

  • ya ,,i agree w. rocomom,,,,,,,,,we do enough ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,although mine is so anal w.housework,,it to him is never clean when he gets home unless the canend goods are all alpahabetized......get my drift..

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:06 AM on Dec. 9, 2008

  • Geeze, I want to move to Ireland. LOL.

    It sort of bugs me when I'm not bringing in an income. But then I take into account all that I DO and when you think of all the money you're saving by not working (like daycare, work clothes, etc.) then I think you can figure how much money you sort of "earn" by being a SAHM.

    Answer by jenettyshome at 9:02 AM on Dec. 9, 2008

  • I don't feel bad at all about not having my own money. It's all ours! I work hard at home and take care of OUR children. He doesn't have to do much besides go to work, so I "earn" my keep too. Seriously, I don't even think that my husband considers any part of his paycheck "his". It gets direct deposited and I do whatever needs to be done with it.

    Answer by slw123 at 9:44 AM on Dec. 9, 2008