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ANOTHER Custody court date!? C'mon!

My daughters father is a pos with a girlfriend who is just as much a pos as he is. They smoke in the house around her, she has been harmed in more ways than one in their care (nothing I can do about it.. already looked into it)..

WELL!! He is taking me back to court for not only more time, but half of her time. split 50/50. Now, he wants to give it a try and my brain says, why not let him (but it's not about him it about protecting my DD right?).. On the other hand, I want to straight take him to the cleaners, hang him up to dry and then nail him to the wall.

I feel split in 2 with this because on one hand I feel like i'm being a bitch (even thought I try working with him as much as possible, apparently that's not good enough) and on the other hand, I feel like protecting my daughter and keeping as much time as possible.

I need help and input. Yeah, i'm already down and out right now, so helpful... please, not spiteful.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:19 PM on May. 25, 2011 in General Parenting

Answers (9)
  • Put your daughter first honey! Isn't that really all it's about anyway! GL
    harris4

    Answer by harris4 at 11:21 PM on May. 25, 2011

  • Be a bitch!
    emmyandlisa

    Answer by emmyandlisa at 11:28 PM on May. 25, 2011

  • Does DD enjoy the time with her father?

    What has he done to harm her?

    My answer would be based on those.
    laird6372

    Answer by laird6372 at 11:39 PM on May. 25, 2011

  • ummm.. no, she likes to go over there for the sake of seeing nana and the little kids. has nothing to do with him.. He personally, no, but it ALWAYS happens within a 1-2 day time span that he has her.. everything that happens there in 1 year of just 4 days a month (48 days) is WAAAY more than what has EVER happened here in the 3 1/2 years she has been with me. And everything that happens here is because she's goofing off or not paying attention to what she's doing.

    Ex. there- dog bit her, trampled on, "rug burns" on both sides of same foot from one fall (I think is what she said when I asked about it I think it's a rug burn.. YOU DON'T KNOW!?) A bruise that peeled on her head..? How does THAT happen BY A TOY TRUCK!? I don't think so, metal doesn't do that and she's fallen plenty of times. The list just goes on and on.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:00 AM on May. 26, 2011

  • He DOES smoke in the house without the windows open around Lily at anytime he so chooses. I believe (can't give proof so it doesn't matter) he still smokes the pot .. and he isn't even the one that watches her, it's Ashlee.. and she's always complaining.. she won't listen to me, I can't get her to mind, she's mean.

    I feel that her learning and development will slow from being over there as well. I work 1 on 1 and very hard with her to get her to where she's at, but they are 3 months (at least) behind on it ALL.. Did you know she goes potty by herself? Well, yeah she's been doing that. YEAH! But she POOPS too! Ummm, yeah, I did, she does it ALLL the time, get off ur lazy ass and take her to the bathroom or pay attention when she says she's gotta go.. Take her out of the damn pull ups and let her grow up and LEARN!
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:05 AM on May. 26, 2011

  • Have you been documenting all of it? If not, it's going to be a back and forth battle of he said she said stuff. (I'm NOT saying it didn't happen, but if there's no proof of her getting hurt over there with each visit, then it's not going to be considered in court). He could very easily argue that it's just a kid being a kid, even if that's not the case. If you are worried about abuse, document everything. If you're not worried about abuse, I would say you could make a TEMPORARY agreement to allow 50/50, so long as school is not affected, she maintains good health, he exercises all of his time, etc, and that if DD is doing well after 6 months, it will continue as a permanent agreement, if not, it's null and void.

    The little kids that she sees there, are they her siblings? If so, that will also influence.

    laird6372

    Answer by laird6372 at 12:10 AM on May. 26, 2011

  • no has no legal surviving siblings. They are kids from a friend of theirs I guess. I am not arguing one way or the other right now because I really AM torn (although the more you ask questions and the more I explain why, the more I want to nail the bastard to the wall). We have police reports, pic's, and dr. documentation yes, we are documenting every major even (that he's suppose to call and inform me on but never does). As far as the temp agreement goes.. what happens when she gets bit in the face again and they actually get her throat.. by then it's too late. Get where my problem is? Yes, maybe worrying too much, but when it comes to a person's child, I would think they would always keep that in mind. It's horrible to think about, but these are the situations that she is placed in. What would have happened if she broke a rib from being trampled on by the dogs and it punctured her lungs, would he care enough then? too late
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:18 AM on May. 26, 2011

  • He lives in PA, I live in NY and i'm going to have her enrolled in school by the time we go to court. Effecting her schooling, it's possible if he doesn't take her to school (she would probably get dropped off here, so I don't think picking her up would be an issue??, but i'm pretty sure that he has to work by the time she needs to be in school and with 1 vehicle I don't see how it's possible)
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:21 AM on May. 26, 2011

  • If she's going to be in school, and you all are in different states, I doubt 50/50 would be granted. Can he have every other weekend and a midweek dinner visit (where she stays in your city) each week? And long period during school breaks. Show the Court that you are willing to offer time, but that 50/50 wouldn't work with her being in school and being in separate states. Make up a schedule that you are willing to offer, and see if he will settle out of Court. That will show the Court that you are trying to work with him and settle out of Court, but that he's not willing.
    laird6372

    Answer by laird6372 at 12:47 AM on May. 26, 2011

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