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2 Bumps

How do i cope with my sister in law aaagghhhh

my sil is 55 and could never get pregnant , this devastated her . we have 2 girls 1 and 2 and shes obssessed with my 2 year old . she comes over uninvited all the time and then has my toddler racing round at bedtime or just plain teaching her baby talk or allowing her to be naughty. she tries to take over parenting when im there and is very pushy IM STARTING TO LOATHE HER !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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maymummy

Asked by maymummy at 2:00 AM on May. 26, 2011 in Relationships

Level 11 (586 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • I would simply put my foot down. Tell her that you appreciate the relationship she has with your daughter, but that you'd appreciate checking with you if she can come over, and that you'd like her to respect your house rules and parenting choices.
    laird6372

    Answer by laird6372 at 2:05 AM on May. 26, 2011

  • I think you need to sit her down and have a talk with her, set limits and boundaries with her and be firm. I would also ask that she also not show up unannounced at all hours, I would ask that she call ahead of time and make sure we are receiving visitors that day. I would also remind her that I am the mom, and I set the rules and discipline the kids.... not her.

    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 2:18 AM on May. 26, 2011

  • put ur foot down but be patient. sounds like she went through alot. explain to her that it would be better if she came earlier in the day. i know exactly how u feel. i lived with my in laws for a while and my toddler would go nuts going to bed and drive me crazy! anyways, i would simply say bed time loudly, and take her to her room and shut it. explain how horrible it gets if she doesnt get to bed on time and how firm u are on precise bed times. i used to do that. they all got used to me and no one says anything now.
    fefe87

    Answer by fefe87 at 3:29 AM on May. 26, 2011

  • I don't think I would really be too hard. I have the power to set limits and one of those is how often she comes over. I would not allow any person to visit at bedtime if it caused my child to get hyper. So make it a rule and don't answer the door. If she has a key, change your locks. You can be nice and set limits. Simply state the rule. If she ignores it or says it is silly - remind her nicely those rules may be silly but those are the rules. Keep firm, look her in the eyes, smile, and say when rules can't be followed it is time for the girls to be in quiet time and unfortunately for guests to go home. When she buys items you are not so fond of - smile, say thank you, and later put a way the toy out of reach. All things can be handled with grace. She loves them. Better than you posting she ignores them and is rude to them. Tolerance and then limits.
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 7:18 AM on May. 26, 2011

  • Set boundaries, no visitors after 6 pm or whatever works for you. Remind her that you and your husband will take care of the parenting role, she's there as an aunt. She can either respect your wishes or she can stop coming over - you are the parent, she is not.
    scout_mom

    Answer by scout_mom at 11:47 AM on May. 26, 2011

  • SIT down and talk to her. Talk to your hubby. Good luck.
    spagirl0426

    Answer by spagirl0426 at 12:10 PM on May. 26, 2011

  • Set boundaries for her it can only help.
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 12:11 PM on May. 26, 2011

  • You need to tell her she must call before she comes over, and not to expect to be able to at bedtime! I guess it is good that she is crazy for you kids, but you are going to have to make clear that you have boundaries... Is she your brother's wife or your husband's sister? If hubby's sister I would have him make the phone call, if you dont' nip this in the bud it will only get worse.
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 12:15 PM on May. 26, 2011

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