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3 Bumps

My bf just left me because im having another MC!!

So in feb i got preg and didnt know i was only 3 weeks, Well i was bleeding for 9 days straight, my period is all weird all the time anyways so i dident think anything of it, well the 9 th day a started gushing blood and chucks, went to the er and turns out i was preg and mc!

2 weeks ago i found out that i was pregnant again! So made a dr appt and turns out it was a tubal pregnancy, but doc wasent 100 sure so he had me come back to day to do another u/s which in fact it was a tubal! So i had to have a d&c done my bf told me not to bc its killing our baby but i have no choice! So he said if i did it he would leave me!! He came home packed his shit and left to his mothers house! Just like that! Im at a loss......

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DeeMarie87

Asked by DeeMarie87 at 4:29 AM on May. 26, 2011 in Relationships

Level 27 (30,737 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • I am so sorry. He sounds like an ass. You deserve so much better than that. You had no choice and he should understand that. I hope you find a great man.
    sweetangie79

    Answer by sweetangie79 at 4:35 AM on May. 26, 2011

  • He needs to be more educated on the matter. I know men can be friggin hard headed but he needs to know that an ectopic pregnancy is not safe for the mother and cannot be carried to term in a tube. Maybe his mother will tell him that when he is there or you could ask her to explain to him a little. I am so sorry. ~hugs~
    ThatBoysMom

    Answer by ThatBoysMom at 4:36 AM on May. 26, 2011

  • I am so sorry for both your losses!!! Sadly men and boys alike can be assholes. The ONES who can put their selfishness, pride, and ego aside are the ones raised right. Sadly no man can imagine what we feel or go through unless their mom and or sisters went through it and they were there to support them. I do know what you went through and I am so sorry for your ordel because I was 5 months pregnant with a boy and lost him after many false miscarries( told I was almost 4 months along and bled and discharged 3 inch long blood clots a lot) , anyways when I finally lost him the placenta didn't want to come out; so the doc tried for an hour to get it out on his own but it wasn't budging so he said to me " I know you're tired and in pain so I can either do a D&C or keep going"; I turned to my mom because I was at a loss and she was no help and so I called my sis who said why continue just do the D&C; so when my doc came back I told
    ladyd6280

    Answer by ladyd6280 at 4:54 AM on May. 26, 2011

  • him do the D&C. He said ok but decided to try again. After 5 huge blood clots (big enough to be the placenta but tore apart proving not to be) he refused to give up and finally he got it. The point I'm trying to make is that if my doc had done the D&C he might have pulled the blood clot that could have caused me to bleed to death! Everything happens for a reason!!! If he isn't man enough to understand this and why it has to be done( I mean it's not like you killed his baby) then he's not a man at all. If you decided to let the baby continue to grow in your tube then your tube would have erupted and you could possibly never have kids again. Put it to him like that too, as well as( not I had no choice because they( men) see that as a bs excuse) if there were a way for the baby to have a chance you would have done it. ANY man who can not see where your health or feelings is a factor isn't a worthy man of you or your love! SFYL!!!
    ladyd6280

    Answer by ladyd6280 at 5:03 AM on May. 26, 2011

  • What a jerk, a tubal pregnancy has 2 options.. be left alone to kill mother AND baby, or have doctors intervene to end a pregnancy that has absolutely zero chance of success. He's ignorant. Move on and find yourself someone who really loves you and will be there for you when you need them, not kick you when your down. Google tubal pregnancy and send him the links, then continue to move on because no one deserves this. So sorry for your loss.
    Ashes0813

    Answer by Ashes0813 at 5:31 AM on May. 26, 2011

  • Sounds like your SO is uninformed about the whole matter. Let him go. Find someone whole is informed.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 5:47 AM on May. 26, 2011

  • He obviously has no idea what a tubal pregnancy is. Call his mom and tell her it was ectopic. If she doesn't understand why there was only one option, bring them both information.
    It's one thing to be high risk and choose to continue a pregnancy with a small chance of sucess. Quite another thing, a very stupid thing, in fact, to try to continue a pregnancy with ZERO chance of success. Not to mention the danger it would put you in.
    I'm sorry you have to deal with an idiot at such adifficult time....
    Nicoles2LilRams

    Answer by Nicoles2LilRams at 6:43 AM on May. 26, 2011

  • A tubal is a serious matter. Your boyfriend sounds as though he was just looking for a way out, I am very sorry to say. Get all better and grow strong.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 7:08 AM on May. 26, 2011

  • I'm sorry you've been through 2 miscarriages. I had one years ago between my last son and my daughter who was my last child. You never really get over it. That being said, it happens, but you have to look out for your best welfare. That was a mean, cruel thing to do to you, your boyfriend leaving you in your time of need. He does not deserve to be taken back. You need somene you can depend on when the going gets rough, not abandon you. You're worth more; your life is woth more. You have no control over this and you definitely do not want to put yourself in danger. Talk to someone you can trust; let your emotions run their course. If he really loves you, he will do the research himself and try to make amends. Focus on yourself; love yourself enough to know that you can recover and move on with your life.
    rosiemendo

    Answer by rosiemendo at 7:49 AM on May. 26, 2011

  • i am so sorry that you are going thru this.
    amberpaiz

    Answer by amberpaiz at 7:51 AM on May. 26, 2011

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