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18 year old arristed pick or up or leave her?? she wont follow my rules...

I just got a phone call from daughter's friend, letting me know that my daughter called last night was arrested. She did not want her father or I to know, the friend only told me because my daughter is not yet home. My daughter did leave me a message and said nothing. Should I leave her until she calls? If she calls should I still leave her there? My daughter has been coming and going, she is a little party girl. should I just let her be and figure it out, should I wait for her to call me?? Her friend thinks my daughter had a warrent.


Asked by Anonymous at 7:23 PM on Dec. 8, 2008 in Adult Children (18+)

This question is closed.
Answers (24)
  • I would leave her. Maybe it will teach her a few things.

    When she does finally make it home, i would sit her down and have a long discussion and let her know that the path she is choosing is not acceptable for your household, and if she wants to continue then she will need to leave.

    Answer by CarolynBarnett at 7:26 PM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • She needs to learn to respect you both I'd let her sit and figure it out on her own she's 18 and needs to learn the adult world and the consequences that come with he choices

    Answer by watersgirls at 7:26 PM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • personally I would leave her,because if you bail ger out she knows that mom will always be to the rescue, this should teach her that she has to be responsible...................good luck

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:26 PM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • i would leave her and let her come 2 her sences and learn a lesson

    Answer by butterscotch297 at 7:26 PM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • I'd leave her..

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:31 PM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • I have been you..only it was a son. The first time we picked him up..huge mistake. He learned jack. The next time he sat for 9 days. Let her simmer and stew on it a bit.

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 7:36 PM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • I would leave her...but I wouldnt think its going to do much good.Seeing as she doesnt want you to know she seems content on accepting her punishment.

    being 18 and still living at your house I would tell her that there have to be some kind of rules and courtesy.Maybe make her start paying a little bit of food and bills that way she doesnt have so much to party on and it can teach her responsibility.She is no longer a child.I know that is hard b/b she will always be your baby.:)

    Good luck momma and I hope it all works out for you

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:23 PM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • i would leave her!

    Answer by charisma10 at 9:17 PM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • I would call the jail and ask what the charges are. I'd see what the bail is. I'd also tell dad and ask him what to do. No family should have those kind of secrets plus he might read it in the paper anyway. Better you tell him than that or have a friend tell him and embarrass him

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:03 PM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • Tell dh!!! And leave her. When she does get home, have a set of rules ready and written down. Tell her she either follows them or will have 30 days to get out and then stick to it. At 18 she can being paying rent, expected to come home by a certain hour OR call to let you know she won't be home. I tell my kids this is out of respect for me, not that I am trying to control them! Out of three kids, only one has had to make the call to let us know he wasn't coming home and that was only a time or two. I urge you to sit down with DH before she gets home and write out those rules and get on the same understanding so you support each other.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:05 AM on Dec. 9, 2008