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How helpful/supportive was your husband or SO during your pregnancy?

I am at the end of my second pregnancy and he has been pretty unhelpful. During my first he was way better. This time around he has expected me to be on top of housework, cooking, taking care of our three year old, and everything else with little to no help from him. It doesn't matter how sick or exhausted I am. As for emotional support I feel like a am getting nothing. If I ever complain or tell him my fears or anxieties he just says, "Oh, you are just pregnant". Like my problems are insigificant and not worth his time. Reading the pregnancy books I have can really get me down because in them they talk about all the things the husband should be doing to help or be sensitive about. He wants nothing to do with reading books about pregnancy. I am getting soo fed up and can't wait to just jump a head a few months when things go back to "normal". Do you feel you had enough support from your husband during your pregnancy?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:42 PM on Dec. 8, 2008 in Pregnancy

Answers (10)
  • umm like never was
    butterscotch297

    Answer by butterscotch297 at 7:43 PM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • I amn at the end of my 2nd as well and he has been really great through both of them and very involved with the appts as well
    Married2theBest

    Answer by Married2theBest at 7:49 PM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • I'm kind of in the same boat...my hubby was a GREAT helper through my first pregnancy, and I really felt like we split household duties half-and-half. These days he complains that the house is always dirty and makes comments if I didn't manage to do DD's hair or something in the course of a day. If I complain about being pregnant, he just says "it'll be over soon". It's frustrating, but in my case I am trying to cut DH a break. He works full-time and goes to school full-time, so in reality he is probably just as stressed out and exhausted as I am. :-P
    aliceryannesmom

    Answer by aliceryannesmom at 7:49 PM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • He was kind of a passive supporter. (*One more reason for inspiring my Birth Doula work, lol!!)

    doulala

    Answer by doulala at 7:51 PM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • totally useless my husband was. still is that's why he's nearly my ex. If he's no help when this baby comes with this baby and your other child you need to really reconsider the relationship. I shoulda done that. How is he when your first child has been sick does he take care of them? Before this pregnancy has he helped you routinely and spontaneously around the house? What would happen if you just rested unexpectedly instead of doing the dishes whatever chores. Don't spoil him by letting him off the hook. That's what I did instead of telling him that's what my husband needs to do. Watch out for how he is as time goes on.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:51 PM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • My SO will help me pick up now. I don't think he would be as helpful if I wasn't having trouble with my pregnancies, but he will rub my back and has been pushing me to go on full bedrest like my doctor wants even though right now the doctor still allows me to work one day a week. As far as wanting to understand everything or the emotional part...no, he sucks at that...but I think its just because men are more practical and want something they can actually "do".
    kabbot01

    Answer by kabbot01 at 8:22 PM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • My DH was helpful during my first and a little during my second, but for this one he doesn't help much and I get yelled at if the house needs work, we have two kids and I still need to be super mom and even though I'm exausted he doesn't offer to help me out, and gets mad if I sleep alot
    maderacaligirl

    Answer by maderacaligirl at 8:24 PM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • Hubbs ...
    right now is the best as he can be,

    he helped less in my first pregnancy

    maybe because this is our last pregnancy???

    i d k ..
    but i love feet rubs~
    LexsiesMommy

    Answer by LexsiesMommy at 8:38 PM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • My husband is great when it comes to pregnancy.
    We have a flea problem, and he tried to convince me to let him spray off the cans so I wouldn't inhale anything for even a second (he's gone all week, and I'm home with the fleas... I did it)

    But Bryan is so supportive, and this is #2 baby. He does everything I ask him, and everything I dont' ask him.
    he will even tell my friends that he thinks I am sexy to get brownie points.
    charisma10

    Answer by charisma10 at 9:15 PM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • my boyfriend in the first few months wasnt even close to supportive...he was always avoiding me never wanting anything to do with me...then he just left for a break one day we havent seen each other in about 2 weeks..now he wants everything to do with me and the baby...he claims he was scared at first...ive tried to explain to him that im scared to death about the pregnancy but i cant just go take breaks...this will be his3 baby and my 1st. i love him so much but after awhile enough is enough but after the break him and i have worked things out and he realized that he cant always go take a break...then just out of nowhere he asked me to marry him<3 i said yes even though i will probably regret it in the future...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:05 AM on Dec. 9, 2008

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