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How long would you let an 8 month old cry it out for nap/bed time?

I am having such a hard time with my 3rd child, bless his little heart :(
He just wants to fall asleep in my arms for naps and bedtimes. Which you all honesty, I really enjoy those few precious moments of cuddle time with him and to watch him fall asleep.
But here lately..after he falls asleep and I attempt to lay him down, he wakes right up SCREAMING.
I admit, I have a soft heart towards these kinds of things...its hard for me to hear him cry when I know he just needs his mama. But realistically..I mean..I have other children to care for, housework to tend to, meals to cook. So, he needs to learn NOW how to fall asleep on his own.
So, yesturday I bit the bullet and laid him down AWAKE in his crib, turned on a mobile and walked out. Boy did he scream and scream.:( It about broke my heart. I gave in after 20 minutes.I just couldnt do it anymore.
I guess I don't know really, how long is too long to let them cio? I did do cio with my middle child when she was about 18 months.It took 2 bedtimes of 45 minutes of cio and after that..she would go right to sleep when I laid her down.I had to leave my dh in the house and I would go outside so I couldnt hear her crying to do it.
Anyway, here I am again today he's up there screaming right now, and he is so very tired.Its been about 7 minutes. I have the urge to go get him!!! What do I do?!? ugh. I hate this :`(


Asked by kimberlyinberea at 11:03 AM on May. 26, 2011 in Babies (0-12 months)

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This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • I would always check them 5 mins after I laid them down and then 10 minutes later, then 15...each time adding 5 minutes.

    Mine only took 3 days to realize that she had to sleep on her own but mommy would come check on her if she really needed me.

    Another option is to slowly work your way out of the room. Put to bed and you sit next to the bed and read until they fall asleep. after they get that down, move the chair closer to the door until they get used to that, then move again. Once you are at the door, that night, put them to bed and leave the room and then do the check that I stated at the beginning.

    Answer by Jademom07 at 11:06 AM on May. 26, 2011

  • I usually give mine their bottle at that age when they're ready to fall asleep and, of coarse, shortly after they fall asleep or stop drinking I take the bottle. It's worked for me with three boys. I think they sleep better on a full tummy.

    Answer by BUTTERCUP777 at 11:17 AM on May. 26, 2011

  • Oh, also I've heard that playing peak a boo helps. Like during play time put him in his bed and walk out the door, as soon as he starts to fuss pop back in, keep doing that waiting a few seconds longer each time. He'll start laughing and laugh everytime you pop in eventually, maybe after a few days, getting the point that when he needs you you'll be there.

    Answer by BUTTERCUP777 at 11:27 AM on May. 26, 2011

  • Lol, you answered your own question, you went in to soon. Refer back to how you did it with your first.

    Answer by Candi1024 at 11:20 AM on May. 26, 2011

  • hmm, I'm trying to think the ages of mine when we did it. I know it was way before 18 months. But I'm pretty sure with my second it was after one year because before that I would nurse her to sleep. But my second was always a bit easier. I don't remember when I did it with my first. Maybe wait a couple more months, then do it? You certainly don't want to do it half-assed.

    Answer by Candi1024 at 11:32 AM on May. 26, 2011

  • I'm trying to find an article that really helped me... can't remember where I read it...
    The gist of it was that you have to figure out what type of crying your baby is doing... some babies will cry/fuss when they first lay down in a way that they are getting out the last little bit of energy and then they fall asleep. others when they cry just get more and more and more upset the longer you let them cry.
    I've noticed that my daughter does both. So when she first starts to cry I just listen and see what kind of cry it is... if its diminishing then I let her cry it out. But if she is getting worse/louder/etc then I go in and soothe her. I can usually tell within two minutes what kind of a cry it is.
    I hope that helps... i was so torn up about the whole crying it out debate until I read that article :)

    Answer by elizabiza at 2:12 PM on May. 26, 2011

  • Read The No Cry Sleep Solution. It might be helpful. I got a used copy cheap on Amazon, and you can even check the library. I didn't like CIO, we mostly co slept until they were ready to go into their own cribs/beds.

    Answer by Krysta622 at 4:08 PM on May. 26, 2011

  • I never let my babies cio. I was a single physically disabled mother with 3 children and managed to take care of everyone without leaving the baby to cio. It sounds like you are trying to be responsive to your baby's needs but are being influenced by society. It's more reasonable to expect the adult to learn to adapt and take care of their baby's needs.

    Answer by Gailll at 11:24 PM on May. 26, 2011

  • He doesnt drink a bottle , he nurses. He flat out refuses a bottle really,lol. he's my stubborn baby.
    If he could fall asleep and stay asleep while nursing..he would! lol I do nurse him before I lay him down so he's not hungry.
    Thanks for the advice tho.

    Comment by kimberlyinberea (original poster) at 11:21 AM on May. 26, 2011

  • Thanks Candi,lol...but there was a whole year difference in age there so not sure if 45 minutes of cio would be too long for an 8 month old :(

    Comment by kimberlyinberea (original poster) at 11:23 AM on May. 26, 2011