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2 Bumps

How do I handle my brother's ex-fiance who is ruining his life by false domestic violence allegations???? adult content

My brother had a bachelor party last weekend in Miami- and ended up cheating on his fiance (not sex, but enough to consider it cheating). YES, that was wrong, I'm not denying that, BUT she is now running around saying he was an abuser. Mind you- I've been saying how she emotionally and psychologically has abused him for YEARS!!!! She's a psycho. Her parents and brothers are all cops, and they managed to get a restraining order on false allegations. My brother has NEVER done anything to her. I was a former victim and went through everything including the trial- I experienced real DV for three years and am beyond infuriated she is using the system for her benefit.

Her and her sister are putting up ridiculous things on facebook. The only reason I have yet to delete them is that any and everything will be taken into consideration for evidence. That being said, I just posted up an article (on facebook) about women who lie about domestic violence. Sure, probably imature, but also nothing I think that can be used against me or him (unlike her changing her fb status and posting pix supposively after being at the police station crying).

So what do I do??? Am I supposed to really not do and/or say anything? Obviously I'd love to call her and cuss her out (if I didn't live across the country f/ her, I'd go and beat the s*** out of her), but I'm not going to do any of that since this is leading up to a trial. EVERYONE besides her and her family knows he's innocent. HE even called the cops on her long before she did (the same day) b/c she was going nuts and he wanted a witness while he gathered his belongings. Now she's claiming he was abusive before the cops got there, but she didn't even come up with these charges until after a steak dinner with her brother- a cop.

It's all bogus and I'm so upset. Any and all advice would be great but I swear, I have no energy for bashing- thanks.

Answer Question

Asked by lexi8622 at 11:26 AM on May. 26, 2011 in Relationships

Level 17 (3,640 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • You really are supposed to stay out of it. Be there for him emotionally and as someone he can talk to, but stay out of the legal mess.

    Answer by gemgem at 11:28 AM on May. 26, 2011

  • do you think i should delete the post on facebook? they're not only running around saying things about him and domestic violence (as if they even knew anything about that) but talking about family members of the "abuser" -aka- my sisters and i

    Comment by lexi8622 (original poster) at 11:32 AM on May. 26, 2011

  • Anyone can get TRO, its easy. She has to prove it, there's no pics of bruises, she has nothing. Look up defermation of character, that might help too. And quite honestly sounds like your brother's mistake of cheating is a lifesaver b/c if he would've married her, the bitch in her would've come out eventually, and then he'd be paying the bitch alimony and god knows what else!

    Answer by yesmaam at 11:33 AM on May. 26, 2011

  • its also harassment...the facebook crap. Although I want to say just ignore facebook, it causes sooo many unnecessary problems that can be easily avoided.


    Answer by yesmaam at 11:35 AM on May. 26, 2011

  • I would suggest to your brother to copy and save all the fb nonsense for court. Then you should stay out of it. Be his support system, but keep your nose out of the drama.

    Answer by pookiekins34 at 11:39 AM on May. 26, 2011

  • I have already been taking pix of and documenting all activity related to her and her sister. She has NO proof, but the system is set up for the victim, they have $ for a good attorney, and if u hand her a tissue- she'll produce waterworks.. So while there's no concrete evidence, with her family of cops she has everything going for her, EXCEPT the same cop who helped him in the afternoon took her report later, and even told my dad it didn't sound right. Btw, I'm SO glad they aren't getting married- I confronted him months ago begging him to cancel the wedding. Now its over and as long as he doesn't spend a minute in jail we'll be okay. I don't plan to be any more involved in the fb drama.

    Comment by lexi8622 (original poster) at 12:05 PM on May. 26, 2011

  • Document EVERYTHING and have your brother sue her for slander. He will win.

    Answer by alphamom26 at 12:16 PM on May. 26, 2011

  • Restraining orders are NOT easy to get. You have to prove the person is still a threat. My sister couldn't even get one on a guy who raped her.

    Answer by emmyandlisa at 1:23 PM on May. 26, 2011

  • well i don't agree with what your brother did, but this woman is hurt and angry about it. and she is going to do a lot of damage to your brother because she wants him to feel that hurt. regardless no sex was involved but he did something close to it that pissed her the f**k off. and she is seeking revenge. all you can do is document document document. your brother should too. if she calls to harrass him document or record it. but for the most part you need to stay out of it. i know she has her family involved but for your family's sake stay out of it. obviously she might have bipolar who knows. i'm sure it will go in favor of your brother so long as he doesn't have any interaction with her and i mean nothing. let her do the damage to herself.

    Answer by lucky35 at 1:26 PM on May. 26, 2011

  • yes, lucky35- she has actually been diagnosed for bipolar disorder before- which can hopefully be used against her. i understand her anger- but ruining his chance at getting a job and facing up to 2.5yrs in jail?!?! it's insane, and she's going through with it all.

    to emmyandlisa- sorry to hear about your sister, and i agree, R/O's are not easy to get- i had to get one on my ex and had to provide a lot of evidence-- BUT like i said, her family is entrenched in the criminal justice system- so a pull of a string got him arrested off of nothing!!!

    Comment by lexi8622 (original poster) at 2:23 PM on May. 26, 2011

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