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Where would I begin if my soon to be husband wants to adopt my child from a previous relationship?

I am the mother of a First grader and a preschooler. I have been with a man for 5 years and my oldest daughter is 6 and is from another relationship. We are planning to be married and he would like to legally adopt her as his own.

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mzladyjohnson

Asked by mzladyjohnson at 8:21 PM on Dec. 8, 2008 in Adoption

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Answers (9)
  • first you have to get married. Then get a lawyer. If you know where the bio dad is and he will willingly sign away his rights no big deal from there. If you don't know where he is you have to for 60 days post an add in the paper. IF you know where he is and he won't consent your screwed. Total cost should be under $2000 including cost of running the ad if you have to.
    babyfat5

    Answer by babyfat5 at 8:26 PM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • My DH adopted my son, my advise call the family court and see if it is something that you can do yourself but do not get discouraged if you cannot. I am in NY and they said we could DIY, but when I got the paperwork it was the thickest packet of unreadable jargon I have ever tried to wade through. We ended up getting an attorney who said that she doesn't even understand half the crap in the DIY packet!
    goaliemom93

    Answer by goaliemom93 at 8:32 PM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • Oh and I don't know if this is a state to state thing, but we had to do a home study, fingerprints for a background check, physicals all that we would have to do for a "stranger" adoption. I thought it was really weird that I had to get a background check and adopt my own BIRTH child, but that is NY I don't know about other states.
    goaliemom93

    Answer by goaliemom93 at 8:36 PM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • We looked for a lawyer in the phone book that specializes in adoption, and then interviewed a couple of them. They can vary quite a bit in cost and in having a good work ethic and care taken with the law. We were able to do this very easily when we adopted our youngest son. Fees depend a lot on where you are from.
    TeaAnderson

    Answer by TeaAnderson at 8:39 PM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • When my husband adopted my oldest child, who was from a previous relationship, we did the following.

    We contacted a lawyer and then we had to file with the courts. After that it was published in the paper for 2 different times so if anyone wanted to contest it they could. My "EX" came forward and signed over his parental rights, which made things very easy for us. After it was published we went to court and a judge look over everything. Then we signed the paper work.

    If you do not want to talk to a lawyer because of the cost then I would call family court because it might something you can do yourself. We have a friend who is a lawyer so they recommended someone for us.

    Good Luck
    cornflakegirl3

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 8:50 PM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • My husband adopted my oldest child, my daughter, who was from a previous relationship. He had originally agreed to it, but then didn't, so we went to a lawyer, had him write up the papers for involuntary termination of paternity. He got a lawyer to fight it and I went detective working on the internet getting all the dirt I could. I gave it my lawyer, and he passed it on. His lawyer actually told him to back down and let it go. He did and it was done. It cost us $1,000. It will cost more if it goes to trial. You can call the courthouse in your area and ask questions. They district court personnel are usually pretty good about helping, and they know which lawyers are best at different cases, I mean they see them all the time, so they know. Just come up with your list before hand. I am sure every state is a little different on how it works, but you should be able to get some answers.
    momandwifeproud

    Answer by momandwifeproud at 2:08 AM on Dec. 9, 2008

  • what state are yo in??my husband adopted my 7 yo from a previous relationship(we went through a lawyer) and he said that it would be easier for us to just have her name legally changed rather than adopting her.it was also much cheaper too(about $500 vs $2000 or more).Maybe you should check into that option....
    army21wife

    Answer by army21wife at 12:39 PM on Dec. 9, 2008

  • ok depends on what the real dad says but then just go to the court house and get the papers you fill them out and send them in. well in fl anways after my first husband past away i got remarried and we thought long and hard about adoption but gave te choice to my son at the age of 5 he knew what was going on in his life but he wantted to keep his 1st daddys name and add his new daddys name we went to the court house filled papers and within 2 mon $250 later it was all said and done very easy in a case like that
    good luck with it and i hope it all works out for you
    motheroftrouble

    Answer by motheroftrouble at 11:47 PM on Dec. 10, 2008

  • I am getting married in February and my fiance' is going to adopt my 2 children.  We spoke to a lawyer and he said if the father's sign off willingly then it is just basically paper work but if they don't then it would be more work, money, and time.  I'm not sure if this varies by state and also what your situation is with the biological father but if they haven't contacted the child in 6 months - a year it is considered abandonment and the court can pretty much force then to sign off. That is what the lawyer told us. 

    DROCKSGIRL517

    Answer by DROCKSGIRL517 at 8:11 PM on Dec. 25, 2008

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