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4 Bumps

Please give me some advice!!!

I am a 36 y/o single mom who is desperate for some advice please!!! I met my current bf who is a 39 y/o single father on E Harmony 6 months ago. I have never met anyone ever that I have been so completely compatible with,the chemistry,friendship,things in common, all of it is there. So here is the problem: I have had several issues with him that are making me question his motive in this relationship,if he even looks at it as one... A few moonths ago during an arguement he told me that he had a date with someone that he met on another dating website. That night he was no where to be found, wee chose to get back together and he said he was out with friends,and that was the end of it. Then, I found out that he also had been emailing someone from facebook and he was very flirty. I found out about this as well,and he just said she had lost a lot of weight and he deleted her. About a month ago he sent me a picture of an attractive woman and when we started talking again he said he googled her picture just to show me he could. Then 2 weeks ago someone on myspace emailed him saying how cute he was and that she wanted him to add her as a friend,he responded that he would but that hes always on facebook now. The last 2 things that I mentioned happened while we were together.He left his email open on my computer and I read emails that he sent the girl that he sent me the pic of. He also sent her a pic of him and his son at a recent field trip @ school and he also forwarded her a copy of his 'HIDDEN' profile. We are suppose to on vacation tomorrow with his 8 y/o and my 7 y/o. I feel completely sick to my stomach and lied to. I dont know how to find thhe strength to leave this man alone,as I really love him and am completely distraught over what I have found out. He told me earlier this week that he cant wait to introduce me to my soon to be "father in law". He is very good at manipulating me and turning things around. I know this is going to cause some unfavorable comments in his favor but this week he had an arguement and he put his hands under my jaw and I have a bruise on my jaw line. I also have 2 finger mark bruises in my arm as well. Please help me,I dont want to disappoint my daughter as we are suppose to be at the airport in the morning,but I do not trust him,I feel like I always find something and it will always be this way should I stay. On a final note,he ALWAYS says to me..."We are 2 hot looking ppl who can both find other ppl but it will never be this".....please,please tell me your thoughts! And thank you for your time.


Asked by Anonymous at 4:20 PM on May. 26, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (21)
  • It sounds to me like he lied on his profile on the dating website. I don't think you are compatible with him at all. He's lying to you about all these other women. He's telling you just enough truth to make it seem he's being honest, but he's not. He's not gotten physically abusive. There is no way in hell I'd go on vaca with him, and take my child? No way. It also sounds like he preys on single moms, online. Creepy, lying, cheating, abusive. End it, that's what I say. You have a bad feeling. And I think you already know what you have to do, you just need someone to tell you, to justify how you feel. That's fine. And you have it here, many times over. Before long, I'm sure he will abuse your daughter as well. End it before it goes too far. There ARE good men out there.

    Answer by Raine2001 at 5:26 PM on May. 26, 2011

  • Get OUT!!! your daughter will recover from not going on vacation but will she recover from seeing this man put his hands on her mom in a way that is not nice?

    He sounds like he wants control and wants to get what he wants with no regard to your feelings. RUN!~

    Answer by Jademom07 at 4:24 PM on May. 26, 2011

  • He sounds like an attention seeking womanizer. Aka, get rid of him, he dosnt sound trustworthy.

    Answer by minimo77 at 4:23 PM on May. 26, 2011

  • You need to walk away. You should not be involving your child in this. He sounds shallow and immature. Definitely not to be trusted and no one you should bring into your daughter's life.
    If you insist on seeing him, it should be completely without the children. But why involve yourself in that. Like he said, you can do better.

    Answer by tootoobusy at 4:25 PM on May. 26, 2011

  • get out now!!! Not only is he lying to you, hes also abusing you, you are still really young in your relationship too! Imagine how much more worse it can get!

    Answer by lilbrewcrew at 4:35 PM on May. 26, 2011

  • Wow.
    I was going to say..if he's paying for the vacation..just go on it and see how things go. But he left bruises on you??
    He sounds like a con artist,a manipulator and a player.
    You have no more time to waste on that piece of dirt. Delete him from your computer.Remove him from your life.
    YOu can find better.You deserve better.Your daughter deserves beter.
    Good Luck

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 4:26 PM on May. 26, 2011

  • he sounds like he's just interested in using & abusing you. If he were really interested in being with you, he wouldn't be talking to other women at all.

    Answer by samurai_chica at 4:31 PM on May. 26, 2011

  • I'm sorry that this man is treating you this way. Sometimes love clouds our judgment. You don't deserve to be treated this way at all. If your daughter sees him treat you this way, she will grow up and feel like it's OK for other men to treat her that way, too. Do you want that for your daughter? Better to cut your ties with him now, rather than later once damage has been done to you and your daughter. Let your daughter see a strong woman as her role model, one who won't stand for a man treating her that way. Good luck to you.

    Answer by hollyanne31 at 4:39 PM on May. 26, 2011

  • He is not ready to be faithful to you. Will he ever? I don't know. He might be one of those men that will never be faithful. Regarding the bruises, they will get worse. Get away from that man! Do you want your daughter to think that the way he treats you is okay for her boyfriends and husband to treat her.

    Answer by dustbunny at 4:46 PM on May. 26, 2011

  • Get away as fast as you can. And, as Hollyanne31 said above, your daughter will learn from this too. Be strong! You can do it!

    Answer by DeeAnnRed at 4:50 PM on May. 26, 2011