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4 Bumps

Is there more to this or am i just being jealous

my bf reconnected with some friends on facebook and one of these freinds is a female. I have no problem with him having female friends. I have watched some of their convo online and to me she is looking to reconnect with him as more than a friend. I saw her pic and didnt like her. Anyhow, I have befriended one other female friend of his and she and I have been talking some no problems. SO what is different about this one. I told him i have no prob with him having female friends but this one is divorced with 2 kids and you know the story. Childhood friends reconnect years later and she has feelings that thing. he tells me she is just a friend and i believe him. I trust him it is her i dont trust. he wanted to know y i was befriending his childhood friends and he didnt have a prob with me talking to the other one. anyhow, She asked me who i was and i told her i was his gf. He is overseas and is suppose to come home in 10 days. He says i will meet her but i already dont like her. O he said she may see me as a threat. WTF im the gf wouldnt i feel that way. I asked y would she see me as a threat. his response was if i was the jealous type. she would. whatever. Tell me what u think. I am not jealous just pissed that this woman knows that he has a gf and still is trying. old chum or not.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:55 PM on May. 26, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • I have had this issue with my SO. I had to explain to him that even if your just interested in a friendship, she may be interested in more. And just by him being her friend and being there for her to talk to may lead her differently and make her try and pursue something. He may be encouraging her unintentionally. If it makes you uncomfortable then he shouldn't do it. Hope I helped.

    MommyMJean

    Answer by MommyMJean at 6:03 PM on May. 26, 2011

  • She is from his hometown and when he gets back stateside i am suppose to move up that way with him. like i said i trust him but i dont trust her. His ex made him choose between his friends and her and i wont do that. I will try to be her friend when i get there and i have made freinds with my male friends female friends. I have also made friends with my bf's ex gfs. That doesnt bother me. what bothers me is what is not being told. I lost male friends due to my ex and he did too so we are gunshy to speak. They should not be that defensive about their relationship since it has been many years rite. I dont know what is being talked bout outside of the online chat. I only am getting part of the story i am afraid.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 6:09 PM on May. 26, 2011

  • No u fine you just on yo shit thats all keep on
    benitaapplebomb

    Answer by benitaapplebomb at 6:12 PM on May. 26, 2011

  • Let know what its GOING TO BE. Not what you'd like... My DH has cut a few of his friends loose because i told him about their comments towards him. 1 even had the nerve to call at 12:30am the day after christmas to "wish him a merry christmas" HE may not mean anything by it, but SHE probably does. I would DEF NIP IT IN THE BUD NOW!
    Zarviemom19

    Answer by Zarviemom19 at 6:13 PM on May. 26, 2011

  • Well all i have to go on is a pic and a five min chat with her. I want to meet her to get a feel for her in person to see how she acts around him and if i see anything i dont like i will nip it in the bud.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 6:20 PM on May. 26, 2011

  • I agree with the first poster. I'd also add that he should be a little more concerned with how YOU feel vs how SHE feels. He is with you, not her. He's going to be living with you , not her. Why WOULD he be worried about her feeling threatened? And, why would he care? Why would he even be THINKING along those lines? That's one thing I don't get. Maybe because my husband doesn't have female friends. IDK. Sounds strange to me. I think you should hold off on any more deep convo with him about it until he gets home. It's not good to talk about this kind of deep stuff when they are gone anyway. Meet her, see how it goes. He may 'get it' when he sees how she acts towards you anyway.
    Raine2001

    Answer by Raine2001 at 8:09 PM on May. 26, 2011

  • I was the one in your bf situation. I had a friend who my husband didn't like. I have mostly guy friends, but some girl friends too, and he was fine with all of them except the one guy. This guy was just my friend, I wanted nothing more with him, but my guy friend wanted more with me. My husband isn't a jealous guy, but around this friend he was. I kept telling my husband, oh we're just friends, hes not like that blah blah blah. And my husband said, he wants more than just friends, believe me. I didn't, until my guy friend tried to make a move on me, then I realized, that my husband had a mans point of view, he saw how my guy friend looked at me and talked to me, and instantly knew that he wanted more. You have the female perspective, and if you think shes trying, she probably is. Tell him that you know the womans mind better than he does, no matter how long hes known her. If she feels threatened by you, thats a no no.
    monstersmommy20

    Answer by monstersmommy20 at 8:22 PM on May. 26, 2011

  • i will see him in 2 weeks and im nervous now cause we have been apart for some time. i last saw him in january and things were going ok with us till this woman came into the picture. i hope i am just overreacting
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:26 PM on May. 26, 2011

  • I have sort of been through that. My guy had a classmate from high school (10 years ago) on his FB. She lived in another state. She would "like" every post, picture, all that. I had told him/joked with him that she was flirting with him. As a joke, I even had him post his "toilet paper preference" to see the response. She even added me on there. She would change her pic often, usually flirty poses, cleavage.. all that. Something just didn't sit right with me.. He would say, she's just a friend from high school. Couple months go by, then I notice, she isn't on his page anymore... or mine. Time to dig. Turns out she was emailing him flirty, sexy pics, suggestive messages. He was not innocent, he was flirting back too. Virtual fantasy progresses.. she wants to see him-in person. He tells her no, she goes crazy. Listen to your voice saying... "something isn't right about this". Don't trust that woman
    Elena G.

    Answer by Elena G. at 2:28 AM on May. 27, 2011

  • I know how territorial opposite sex friends can be, especially female. But since she's new to the picture I would think this wouldn't be an issue. My dh has had a fb page for about 8 months or so. He has lots of friends, a significant ex gf and other girls he went to school with. One girl in particular kept pursuing my dh. She emailed him, gave him her # and IM'ed him every time he was on (sometimes it was me doing farmville). I explained to him that he needed to cut it out now, that she was looking for more than just friendship. He stopped communicating with her. He respects my intuition, I've rarely been wrong about people in our 21 years lol.
    Austinsmom35

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 11:12 PM on May. 28, 2011

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