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Did you go back to work after a divorce if you were a SAHM

Reason i'm asking this is I have this friend who is going through a divorce, and she hasn't worked in 14 years. She recently got a job and is complaining how it's ridiculous that she has to do this. Apparently he husband makes REALLY good money and throughout the year she has been spending more and more and because of it she has been forgetting where she came from. Her personality has changed. She now thinks nothing is good enough, everything needs to be name brand and $$$ to be worth anything. Nothing but the best kind of attitude. Her Husband had told her many times to tone it down, and that her attitude is changing. This has been going on for 5 years now and she hasn't change for the better it's now worst.

He has confided in my husband that he can't take it anymore and in what is going on at home. You can tell he is warn out because of her and her ways. And it's hit a point that he filed for divorce. We go out and she puts him down belittles him and this was before the papers where filed as well. She doesn't even do anything with her kids anymore, it's all about her now. Tennis lessons, cleaning lady, new car, shopping etc.... And most of us live the same way so it's not jealousy. We all live differently but similar in some ways. Most of us appreciate our husbands for what they do for us, but she expects it and she didn't come from money either. You would think she'd stay humble. I didn't come from money either, our husbands made this life for us. We all live in a wonderful neighborhood and a few are SAHM's and the other half do work. I myself am a SAHM.

So now he is divorcing her and she is raising hell in that he is leaving her. So she wants him to stay in this toxic marriage just so that she doesn't have to work and for her lifestyle to continue. Which I think it's so unfair to him, so does dh and a few other couples we know and hang out with, some other's think she is right for wanting this. So she is going around telling everyone that she shouldn't have to work at all and even after he divorces her. I told her many woman go back to work and it doesn't have to be because a divorce. It could just be for something to do. Now she is mad at me.

So I want to know if you divorced, did you go back to work or did you count on your ex to keep supporting you?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 8:54 PM on May. 26, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • I've always worked. My life and life style only improved when I divorced my first husband. Your friend sounds like she needs to get a dose of reality. Maybe when she is forced to work to supplement her child support and alimony she will learn to appreciate what she had and remember where she came from. She may see the error of her ways...


    Answer by meooma at 8:58 PM on May. 26, 2011

  • AHHHH funny you say this
    Her husband told her this! lol
    Thank you so much

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:07 PM on May. 26, 2011

  • I worked. Never really had a job until I left him. Got temp jobs and applied for State jobs. Convinced someone to hire me and worked my way up. I'm not rich but I'm doing damn good for myself considering I don't have a college degree.

    Answer by emmyandlisa at 9:18 PM on May. 26, 2011

  • offense but your friend sounds ridiculous! I'm not divorced but I am SAHM and I wouldnt expect him to just continue to pay for me and my lifestyle if we are no longer together...thats really just insane...if we were (God forbid) to get divorced I would have to find a job...but see...I would have never gotten so far out of hand to begin with...I appreciate everything my husband does for me, how hard he works in order for me to stay home...I wasnt raised with money either...which is WHY I don't take my husband for granted...your friend needs to look in the mirror and get her shit together. Just my opinion

    Answer by Lucky209 at 9:40 PM on May. 26, 2011

  • My mom couldnt stay at home she had to work. My dad wouldnt help her he blew his money on what he wanted. My sis and I had a hard life growing up..Ur friend sounds ridiculous!!! She really thinks her husband should take care of her lifestyle so she doesnt have to work?? That is crazy! He needs to leave her so she can see that she wont be able to keep the same lifestyle! She deserves what she gets after he leaves!

    Answer by Heather021287 at 9:54 PM on May. 26, 2011

  • She should just get alimony from him and stay at home. To answer your question, yes I did.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:03 PM on May. 26, 2011

  • She has a college degree and what's it worth if she doesn't want to use it? She is going to get child support and the alimony he has to give her. What she wants is for him to still give her money even after it's all said and done and signed. She wants for him to give the alimony AND to pay for any vacations she takes! The nerve.

    That's the thing, she never appreciated him, he is now looking back from when they first met and now sees that she has been like this all along. He has been a good man to her and he is such a great dad and this is killing him. She is ridiculous. So much so that she looks down at people who are divorced. She and a few OTHERS don't like to hang out with anyone who is divorced. They want to keep the circle of non divorced couples. lol This is how she thinks. I am not like that, I accept everyone I come across. But her thinking is way off.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:13 PM on May. 26, 2011

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