Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

I feel so heartbroken...

all the sudden my SO is pulling away..after he has been the most lovable and romantic and so sweetest man ever. We been together 3 years, and have a newborn son together, and these past few days he hasn't called me or emails me once a day a couple words and then dissappears. He would never let that happen! he has always been so protective and lovable with me and now his son...
He has had financial dificulties lately, he lost his job, and didn't pay his phone bill. So I can't call him. He bought a magic Jack but now his excuse is that he doesnt have internet. His complex has wiFi..but he says he has no signal to login. He cant come to see us because he has no car, he lives with his brother and sis..and they are all sharing one car to get around. And since he has no job, he has no money, which is also another problem to even borrow their car he needs money for gas its an hour drive. But aside from all that, my intuition tells me there's something not right. Why is he elusive?.....I am so heartbroken I don't know how to handle this situation. Can anyone share their opinion?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:59 PM on May. 26, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • Maybe he's depressed? Or scared to grow up and be a dad? Or upset because he's a new dad and feels like he can't support his family? None of my business but why don't you all live together if you have a child?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:01 AM on May. 27, 2011

  • Usually if you suspect somethng is not right, its not. It could be anything from depression to a number of things. Has he always had a job before? Maybe he is insecure about his financial situation feels ashamed or somethig. Have you tried asking him about it? Tell him you miss him and the way he was, ask if something is bothering him?
    IamErin-K.

    Answer by IamErin-K. at 12:09 AM on May. 27, 2011

  • I agree, with Anonymous. His pride is hurt, he can't help support you or his son. Why are you not living together? If you have to you could get a few benifit to help you, they father and baby out.
    SassySue123

    Answer by SassySue123 at 12:09 AM on May. 27, 2011

  • thank you for your replies but its a number of reasons why we are not living together and mainly its financial, I remember him saying he was embarraced but I showed him all the love and support, I see no reason for him pulling away from us.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:20 AM on May. 27, 2011

  • IM SO SORRY I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL THOUGH. KIND OF LIKE WHATS WRONG WITH YOU OR IS HE JUST GETTING TIRED OF ME OR IS THERE SOMEONE ELSE ETC...IT HURTS BUT YOU GOT TO LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND TELL YOURSELF THAT YOU AND ONLY YOU CAN MAKE YOURSELF HAPPY AND A MAN IS TO ONLY ENHANCE IT...GIVE HIM SOME SPACE SEE WHAT HAPPENS..ITS NOT GOING TO KILL YOU I PROMISE WHAT DOESNT KILL YOU WILL ONLY MAKE YOU STRONGER OLD CLICHE BUT SOOOOO TRUE
    babygirl_18

    Answer by babygirl_18 at 7:48 PM on May. 27, 2011

  • I'm curious if he was having all these money/phone/transportation issues prior to your pregnancy and birth. Just saying this to put it into perspective, if he over came these issues before and is "unable" to now. But I will tell you that my dh was like this after I had my first baby. He withdrew, probably because I wasn't the happy-go-lucky girl he married. I was now a mommy and that changed me. Sometimes it takes men a little longer to catch up and grow up.
    Austinsmom35

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 11:38 PM on May. 27, 2011

  • Thank you for all your helpful answers I got something out of each one. I'm so grateful for Cafemom it is so comforting, and it helps to find sensitive mommies that are willing to be so supportive.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:36 PM on May. 28, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN