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Why am I letting this get to me?

My cousin and another person said that some of my words are very mean and hurt. But they have learned to look past them.....now this is my thing. When I ever say anything mean to someoen it s because they have done something mean to me. I don't go out and just randomly say any mean thing to a person that didn't do anything. And when i do say the ,mean things they were right along side of me laughing so I don't get why all of a sudden my comments are "mean".

Wont lie for my relative to say "we" have learned to look past it insults me cause I am not doing anything I haven't done before and they are guilty of the same crime at times. And when I ask for the specific thing I said that was mean so I can understand what they are considering mean...they can't really give an example. The one gal said I said something to a person when I was 19......im 28 now with a kid. I'm not even the same person so I even more don't understand why they are telling this 8-9 years over due. lol The only people that say I have ever said anything "mean" are the people that I haven't seen in over 5 years...no one current could fairly say I am "mean". I don't get why they are making a thing of how I acted 9 years ago.

Can someone help me makes sense of this?

 
Jazmineamomma

Asked by Jazmineamomma at 12:49 AM on May. 27, 2011 in Relationships

Level 18 (5,231 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • You admitted you are mean when someone is mean to you. I have been mean but I don't blame the other person. I can make a choice not to be mean in spite of someone elses behavior. When I have been mean, it's been a terrible over reaction to what someone said or did. Rather than wonder why they say what they do, consider it a wake up call and put your behavior and words in check in the future. If you try that, you will automatically sense when you are being mean and you will know if what they say is true. You'll be a better person for it. Good luck.
    happi-ladi

    Answer by happi-ladi at 10:30 AM on May. 27, 2011

  • MommaClark3

    Answer by MommaClark3 at 12:55 AM on May. 27, 2011

  • Don't see why you need to make mean comments to be honest, even if they did something to you. You're just adding to the fire.
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 12:55 AM on May. 27, 2011

  • You said yourself, "im not doing anything I haven't done before" and "when I say the mean things I am laughing" you yourself called yourself mean, so they are probably right lol. Just because you find it funny and laugh does not make it any less hurtful. I had a bf like that and when he would ask me for an example I was kinda struck speechless bc everything he said was mean to people so I learned to let what he said go in one ear and out the other. Could this be the case with these women? I hope not....
    GirlWithANikon

    Answer by GirlWithANikon at 1:33 AM on May. 27, 2011

  • They probably can't give an example because either there are so many to choose from or they figure if they tell you you will just say something more that's mean. You keep making a lot of excuses for your behavior, claiming you haven't done it in a long time or that they laugh with you, but I don't see anywhere where you say you feel bad or that you've ever apologized. Saying something mean because they've hurt you doesn't make it acceptable. What about being the better person?

    As for bringing up something you said years ago....to you it might seem petty, but if it stuck that long with them, it was obviously quite hurtful. I wouldn't be laughing at how long it took them to bring it up, I'd be feeling horribly guilty at saying something that hurt them so badly they still remembered it nearly a decade later.
    wendythewriter

    Answer by wendythewriter at 7:49 AM on May. 27, 2011

  • you said yourself you say mean things, so you probably don't really need the example.
    as for people laughing, laughter is a reaction to a lot of things and often doesn't mean that people are happy.

    why don't you just take a look at your own behavior and when you say something that you think may have offended, ask yourself how you would feel is someone said that to you?
    sorry if others are mean to you, but that's no reason to stoop to their level.

    ItsMe89

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 9:19 AM on May. 27, 2011

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