Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

How can i get my point across effectively?

I am in the process of separating and divorcing my husband of 7 years married, 8 years known. We have three kids: 9 from my previous relationship, 6 and 5.
We learned that we are good friends and can function MUCH MORE effectively not married and together 24/7. We are on good terms and I would like to maintain that to the largest degree possible.
He is moving three hours away to his hometown, a small town because he'll have a huge promotion when he does. He won't have family support but friends and community. The school is a pre-K through 12. It is a good school, my oldest attended for a year previously. I am staying with my job and urban setting. I will have family near by, daycare already set and a nanny set up.
In reference to my question: I feel that for this upcoming school year it would be best for everyone to have kids with me during the week and him weekends. I want him settled in work, housing before he takes full responsibility for our three too. Also I fear I will "die" without them for five data a week. Like I said other than the current lease being up and a new school their lives here would stay the same. I am seeking a neighboring school and housing.
He says the school would be better there (possibly), the wouldn't have to move again (true unless they were miserable there), and they could grow up purer and healthier than here (that is very true). Also he is the disciplinarian and the kids don't respect me very well, I'm the "fun/activity" parent and always have been. I have the responsibility now and fear this new role added to everything else will be a miserable thing for everyone. Not a forte of his, hence the divorce.
He is a MAJOR DEBATOR and will only take facts to win an argument.
GIVE ME ASSISTANCE WITH FINDING AND PRESENTING THOSE FACTS TO KEEP MY KIDS HERE PLEASE!!!

Answer Question
 
JKQMom

Asked by JKQMom at 2:27 AM on May. 27, 2011 in Relationships

Level 5 (83 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • I doubt I can help.....I also only deal in facts! What else is there to deal with other than facts in an argument, other than lies? I don't really understand your question, it is not very clear. First and foremost concern of course.....should be what is best for your children, not yourselves!
    truthteller0722

    Answer by truthteller0722 at 2:35 AM on May. 27, 2011

  • so you're saying you are going to drive 1 1/2 hours every friday and sunday to exchange the kids? (assuming you both meet halfway) Thats a lot for kids to handle..and you. Can you commit to that? Are you willing to rotate next school year? One school year with you, the other with him?
    Elena G.

    Answer by Elena G. at 2:38 AM on May. 27, 2011

  • HE's the one moving away, so HE gets the kids on the weekends.
    xxhazeldovexx

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 3:43 AM on May. 27, 2011

  • if you are the fun parent, why wouldnt you want them for the fun part of the week? Let them go stay at dad's during the week. He can keep up with their dicipline and school work, they will have a more relaxed environment and then you get the when the fun time is most optimal... Why do you want the rut of school and homeowrk, then on the weekend when you are free your kids are gone? Maybe you can split it and pick them up from school Friday afternoon and brong them home late Sunday night but a 6 hour road trip is going to cut into your time with them anyway, maybe all summer with you and school year with dad?
    shivasgirl

    Answer by shivasgirl at 8:55 AM on May. 27, 2011

  • If I'm understanding your post correctly, I think that maybe it would be best for them to be with him during the week.

    Could you talk on the phone and webcam during the week?

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:10 AM on May. 27, 2011

  • hate to say it, but you may need to get come counseling together to come to a solution. If you went in front of a judge with it, you very well may not get the kids.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:15 AM on May. 27, 2011

  • Why would I not get the kids? I've been the one to have a job all but about nine months size we married, I have a good paying job, I have a place to live and will have a new one when this lease ends. I have paid ALL THE BILLS AND AT TIMES FOR D.A. TO @%&$ AROUND AND PARTY. How am I not the "better" parent? His longest job ever was six months. This one is maybe 2 months old?
    JKQMom

    Comment by JKQMom (original poster) at 6:14 AM on May. 28, 2011

  • having a job does not mean you get the kids, the judge will not care who does what, he will look for the best interest of the child. I personally was in the same boat sorta, my only son decided to go live with his dad when he was 13, It broke my heart, but then I realized how much more I could do with him on the weekend, we got to play and got to different places that I wouldnt have been able to do with him during the week, plus I didnt have to deal with the heave crap with school and dicipline. It worked out better for me. I ended up going back to school in the evening
    shivasgirl

    Answer by shivasgirl at 4:32 PM on May. 28, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN