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Do you have a hard time saying, "no"?

For most of my life, I had a very hard time saying, "no". It wasn't until life really kicked me in my people pleasing butt, I decided to change my behavior.

Now, I will say no but it's still really hard because if the person I say "no" to gets mad at me, I feel very anxious. I stick to my "no", but it's really, really hard.

How does everybody else handle saying, "no"? Is it hard for you too?


Asked by pugpin at 9:28 PM on Dec. 8, 2008 in Relationships

Level 2 (10 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • I think most people have a tough time with it at some point but with me, I finally realized that I can try all day and night to make some people happy that are never going to be satisfied and I've learned that if I don't say no, people will walk all over me and keep sucking me dry, financially, physically and emotionally. But I do still feel bad sometimes even tho I'm standing my ground. I just try not to let them see that I feel bad so they don't work me harder.

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 10:05 PM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • Definately. I think it's something that is instilled in you a young age. I remember my father telling me that little girls were made to be seen and not heard. How terrible is that? I never felt like I had a voice. I think thats why made my first marriage fail. I still have an ill feeling when someone argues with me or disagrees with me. I find myself wanting to please everyone. NOT good.

    Answer by pupmom at 9:47 PM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • Pupmom,

    I noticed you seem to really love dogs or your dog. I too love dogs. I actually think I prefer dogs to people because they are consistent and don't get mad or disappointed in me.

    Anyway, I did try Co-dependent's Anonymous and found it helpful. The local meeting closed down so I'm waiting for another one to open up. I could reeally use the support.


    Answer by pugpin at 10:02 PM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • I used to be that way, and sometimes I still am, but I say "no" a lot more than I used to. Let me tell you, it feels good!! I was tired of getting stuck doing things just because I didn't want to disappoint someone. Things that put me in a bad situation, or really inconvenienced me. Now I live for ME.... If I don't want to, or don't feel comfortable doing something, I don't. It gets easier the more you do it. My mom never says no, and I've seen her suffer a lot because of it. I didn't want to be like that.

    Answer by drowninginboys at 10:20 PM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • yup, it's hard to say no for me.

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:34 PM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • I have a very hard time saying No..... I get really really upset about it. I thought I was a freak and alone.

    Answer by Sandiii at 11:16 PM on Dec. 8, 2008