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Can you lie to someone that you love and respect?

ok i'm married to the love of my life !!!However for some unknown reason i have a extremely hard time telling him the truth about anything that might be bad or uncomfortable ie..the true balance of a credit card or if an overdraft at the bank it always revoles around money issues even though we don't have money problems. i always want to put off telling him or try to buffer it please help me i do love him we have been together for 35 years and married for 24 it is just really affecting us i need some advise thanks

 
titimom

Asked by titimom at 9:16 AM on May. 27, 2011 in Relationships

Level 4 (45 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • It sounds like you are avoiding conflict. No hubby likes money problems. There's nothing wrong with sitting him down and telling him you are uncomfortable bringing up the topic you need to discuss. Be honest about why you are uncomfortable. Are you afraid he'll yell or make you feel guilty or not respect you? If what you are doing can be helped (like bouncing a check), work on that because it sounds like you know in your heart that isn't right and he may be disappointed in you. If it continues to be a problem, find a book on how to talk to your husband or get a session or two of counselling. Good luck.
    happi-ladi

    Answer by happi-ladi at 10:12 AM on May. 27, 2011

  • You don't want to upset or disappoint him. That is natural. Did your family have money problems when you were a child? Did your parents fight a lot about money? That would explain your reluctance to talk to him about money issues.

    I think you need to talk to him about this. Tell him that you can't explain it, but that you are afraid to upset or disappoint him about money and discuss a resolution.
    Ati_13

    Answer by Ati_13 at 9:20 AM on May. 27, 2011

  • I never lie to my husband. Weather it's good or bad I'll tell him the truth because no matter what I know he will be with me at the end of the day. Just come to realize that whatever the truth may be your husband will still love you the same.
    Eisleysmommy27

    Answer by Eisleysmommy27 at 10:20 AM on May. 27, 2011

  • Money problems are the worst but they are only resolved when everyone is aware of what is going on. You have to be upfront even if you know DH will be upset.
    Vix920

    Answer by Vix920 at 10:22 AM on May. 27, 2011

  • Nope, I can't lie cause it eats at me, I know a lot of time it will make people mad or hurt them but the truth always works best for me.
    momto4girzls

    Answer by momto4girzls at 9:25 AM on May. 27, 2011

  • Can I lie? yea- definitely. thats in my "training" of being a child. we always lied, was taught how to lie-- its like i lack compassion at times, i guess.

    obviously your DH knows somewhat whats going on, if its causing problems. get a little booklet and keep the financial troubles in there. you both can have access to it. you wont be speaking about it initially, but he'll know that the credit card is $300 and not just $100... or whatever.
    Shy_Dia

    Answer by Shy_Dia at 10:31 AM on May. 27, 2011

  • My husband and I agreed to not fight over money a long time ago. We had our difficulties when we first started out, but now, we're doing OK.

    You need to talk to him about this. I don't believe it is OK to lie to your spouse, especially about money. It won't get resolved unless you both are working on fixing it.
    hopeandglory53

    Answer by hopeandglory53 at 10:44 AM on May. 27, 2011

  • My fiancee and I always figHt over money so I try to always put off stuff (financial). I don't feel bad about it because it's just an unnecessary fight. I wouldn't cheat on him and lie about something that would hurt him.
    Februarymom2009

    Answer by Februarymom2009 at 11:01 PM on May. 27, 2011

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