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My step daughter has told her grandparents I have beat her... She slapped herself and went to the police station and had pics taken accusing me.. What do I do to teach this child that you don't do things like this jus because she didnt get her way? adult content

I jus need advise. I'm torn and scared of what she will become. If she's capable of such a horrible thing such as this now.. What will come later... Her father jus wasn't to pretend it didn't happen.. I feel that only says to her it didn't work this time... I feel a lesson is to be learned here.. But don't know where to begin..

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:21 AM on May. 27, 2011 in Tweens (9-12)

Answers (10)
  • Don't ever be alone with her. Ever. I had this happen with my sd except she said her dad beat her. She told very vicious lies. Obviously kids like this are trying to get attention. It's unfortunate that we really can't whip their little butts cuz maybe then they would learn but some kids would love nothing more so they could call CPS. Your dh needs to step up. She needs counseling and major help. I feel for you, my sd finally just turned 18 and is living with a friend. Thank God. I couldn't take it one more year. Good luck.
    JackieGirl007

    Answer by JackieGirl007 at 9:25 AM on May. 27, 2011

  • It sounds like she needs some counseling and if she filed a false police report maybe some community service. If she pulls that crap as an adult she can go to jail.
    scout_mom

    Answer by scout_mom at 9:26 AM on May. 27, 2011

  • It's not your job to teach her that. It sounds like your zeal to "teach her" things is why this happened. Just chill. The police should have told her that lies don't work. Dad or bm needs to step up and you need to step back and not try so hard. You may just get her to listen if you teach by example not by anything aggressive.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:34 AM on May. 27, 2011

  • that poor child is crying out for help for some reason ......i would sugest counseling for her and family counseling for all of you......oh and do like the other poster said never NEVER be alone with her...and make daddy step up and deal with her behavior....
    cara124

    Answer by cara124 at 9:34 AM on May. 27, 2011

  • Thank u all for ur advise.. Use pretty much said what I thought.. I don't want to be alone with her NOW and thats asame.. And I really like the community service idea... Didn't think of that... But that sounds like a plan! Her mother has left her and she likes being with me but only when it's fun.. When it comes to being a child.. She don't want that.. She wants a friend.. But I can't do either now.. I want to help her....
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:54 AM on May. 27, 2011

  • Have a police officer talk to her about what happens when someone files a false report. I also suggest FAMILY counseling and to not e alone with her until she goes through counseling. This is a girl that is hurting and needs help, her own other left her. Maybe she is afraid you will leave to so she started trouble? Have a family talk with hubby, daughter and grandparents about how you feel about her lying about you,etc. Get it all out in the open.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 7:26 PM on May. 27, 2011

  • I have been through this kind of thing before. First of all, you do not need to be the one to teach her anything. That is the father's responsibility. I learned that the hard way, too in the same scenario. As another person responded, don't be alone with this child ever. Insist to the father that she go to another relative's house to be "babysat" until the father is home to monitor her. I disagree with the idea that she is a "poor child calling out for help". No, actually she is a brat trying to get her way in any way possible. Her upbringing is not your responsibility so don't risk ruining your life by giving her the opportunity to lie well enough to land you in jail.
    mamateresa7

    Answer by mamateresa7 at 4:27 AM on May. 28, 2011

  • I'm so sorry you are going through this. I don't have any suggestions just that maybe counseling would help. My family is very worried about this happening with my youngest sister, she is adopted and has already had one person jailed for "bad touching" her. (before we got her) Basically her mother told her what to say, and it got her way, the man out of her life. So she has occasionaly said something when she's mad. For example:
    My older sister and her were standing in the living room and had a disagreement, right in front of all of us, (I don't remember what about) and L just up and started screaming about how our older sister had just "bad touched" her. My mom had a serious talk about how that was inappropriate, she was 5 at the time. 2 of my adopted siblings go to counseling to deal with some of the things that happened while with their birth mother, the other was 2 weeks when we got him so he doesn't need it : )
    AimBre

    Answer by AimBre at 4:30 AM on May. 28, 2011

  • Oh and to add, even now that she has stopped most of that we make sure that no one is ever alone with her. When my mom hires a babysitter my 11 yr old sister stays with them too, if C isn't going to be there, my mom takes L with her and whoever she's going with.
    AimBre

    Answer by AimBre at 4:32 AM on May. 28, 2011

  • I would ask the dad what it was like to be with the ex. How the ex dealt with the children when they were together. Another thing is if the bm is evil then the daughter probably is. Sorry to say that but it can be true. The daughter is probably jealous of you and her dad. Yup, a counselor is needed. A counselor is neutral and doesn't know peoples past. It is a good idea.
    shannon979

    Answer by shannon979 at 2:33 PM on Jun. 1, 2011

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