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6 Bumps

MIL and vaccation (ARRGH!!)

We have no money. WE were invited last year to go on vacation with the WHOLE side if the family (aunts uncles cousins...) anyway all we had to pay was gas to get there and back and food on the way there and back. Every thing else is covered. She doesn't understand why we are not going! She keeps telling me how it's 'free' and a 'big place' (they rented and entire estate) I keep telling her I know but it will cost us 150+ to get there and home and I can't do that right now. DH has told her this to. HOW do I get this through her head? I feel like crap every time we have to go over this!

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Asked by But_Mommie at 10:07 AM on May. 27, 2011 in Relationships

Level 44 (181,645 Credits)
Answers (18)
  • You should go. You will spend more than that on food and gas staying at home. There has to be a way.

    Answer by mompam at 10:10 AM on May. 27, 2011

  • Damn it I never thought of it that way... Crap. Now I have to think more about this.

    Comment by But_Mommie (original poster) at 10:11 AM on May. 27, 2011

  • Ask her if she will give you the money for gas.

    Answer by Jademom07 at 10:12 AM on May. 27, 2011

  • I agree, you should go, if she wants you to go so bad and she has the extra money why can't she just give you the gas money? When I'm in a better financial situation I always try to help my family here or there so they can participate in activities. Sounds like fun. Maybe just be really honest with her and say "look we would LOVE to go, but our family cannot even afford the gas money to get there right now, when you pressure us - it makes us feel bad" - see what she says.

    Answer by 8Tinkerboo8 at 10:13 AM on May. 27, 2011

  • First of all, do you WANT to go? Second, do you really spend more than $150 a week on food and gas? Will this be paid vacation time or will you have to take off work (as in loosing money)? If you want to stay home or it will cost you more than you can afford to go, then let her know you aren't going and to drop it. Good luck (c:

    Answer by scout_mom at 10:14 AM on May. 27, 2011

  • Well, Dh has paid vacation and I am currently unemployed but looking. We spend about 70 a week in groceries and about 50 in gas so It's pretty close I guess.... I kind of want to go but kind of don't because I just feel like it is not a good time for us to be going out and vacationing when we have jobs to find... Like we haven't earned it.

    Comment by But_Mommie (original poster) at 10:17 AM on May. 27, 2011

  • I think you and hubby are just going to have to tell her "yes, I know that the place is 'free' BUT we would still have to pay for food and gas and that adds up to more money than we can afford to spend right now. We have bills that need to be paid and finances/our budget just does not allow us extra money to spend on vacation." It is frustrating when you have a family member who just does not understand that not everyone can afford to go on vacation. (my mil is like that too).

    Answer by MizLee at 10:17 AM on May. 27, 2011

  • Sounds like you guys could use the break.

    Answer by pookiekins34 at 10:22 AM on May. 27, 2011

  • So basically you are in the best position to go because DH has paid time and you are unemployed - RIGHT? This is a gift.......don't feel bad because you should be looking for a job - EVERYONE deserves a break and it sounds like the stars have aligned to provide you that well deserved break that will cost you very little money. Go and receive it as the unexpected gift it is.

    Answer by 8Tinkerboo8 at 10:23 AM on May. 27, 2011

  • Yoru MIL sounds a lot like mine. We hear that crap all the time. "All you have to do is get there, the rest is free." So basically we're expected to spend our entire pay period worth of gas money on a weekend trip. When we get home we have nothing left. Finally we just had to start saying no. I personally feel like no one should ever have to explain a financial situation, especially to a relative. When you and adult and say no, that should be the end of the discussion. It's extremely rude for someone to keep nagging after you've answered. I know what it's like to want a vacation, or to just get the hell out of town for a weekend but I can't justify spending all grocery and gas money for that.

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 10:25 AM on May. 27, 2011

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