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2 Bumps

How to prove child neglect?

i have 2 stepchildren who always come from their mothers house hungry and dirty and usually without underpants or socks. they are 7 and 4. we usually pick them up when other half gets out of work at 9pm. to me, children should be fed and bathed by then. we get calls form the school on a regular basis that julia (7) didnt go to school, no unknown or given reason by the mother. we have talked to cps about this but they say as long as the kids have food in their house and there is no abuse, there is nothing that they can do. been pushing them for the past year with no results


Asked by hnaused2010 at 10:14 AM on May. 27, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Level 8 (211 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • CPS is only there to help the biological parent(s) that are under investigation. No good will come of calling them unless the children are in imminent danger. No underwear, no socks, and no toilet paper do not fall under this category. Children locked in their room, being psychically harmed on more than 1 occasion, not allowed to eat, sleeping in feces are examples. Drug use does NOT even fall into imminent danger.
    Now, saying that, there is a lot that you CAN do. First, document everything. The time she drops them off, what they had to eat, when they last ate, pictures of any odd marks on the kids bodies. If you look like you are retaliating against bio mom, no one will ever take you seriously, even if you are right. Stop calling CPS. When you have enough documentation, have your husband file the paperwork for custody. The judge will actually look at all the evidence (including your calls to CPS for things like no socks).

    Answer by wkfrmhmmomof7 at 11:11 AM on May. 27, 2011

  • Teachers are supposed to be mandated reporters, do you think one of the child's teachers could call CPS and let them know he/she has concerns about the children and the situation at mom's house? Afterall the child is missing a lot of school (which is not good) and does not have good reasons for being absent. Also the teacher sees the child daily and could make comments on how the child looks - her appearance (does she look clean, does she need a bath, are her cloths clean)... maybe the child would confide in teacher and tell him/her that mom does not feed her, or that she does not have clean socks and underwear, or that mom does not give her baths...
    I also agree with the others, photo and document everything and also try filing for custody.

    Answer by MizLee at 10:45 AM on May. 27, 2011

  • You can just document everything. Once you have enough documentation you can try for custody.

    Answer by gemgem at 10:15 AM on May. 27, 2011

  • Document document document. Write down everything and take pictures. I follow the bio on facebook - pretty damning and interesting stuff people say on facebook which, as far as I know, is admissible in court.


    Answer by meooma at 10:20 AM on May. 27, 2011

  • she doesnt have a facebook but we have been taking pictures and writing everything down. we submit everything to the childrens lawyer and he just says there is nothing he can do but to keep up with the information. she has called cps on us for everything and they always start an investigation, we call and we r being petty n vindictive....

    Comment by hnaused2010 (original poster) at 10:30 AM on May. 27, 2011

  • Keep calling and keep documenting. I would also petition for custody.

    Answer by bcauseimthemom at 10:38 AM on May. 27, 2011

  • You take the mother to family court. CPS is not going to take the place of family court and many divorced couples use CPS as a means to avoid paying for a lawyer and trashing the rights of another parent. If you really want to "prove" it you can hire a private detective to uncover any independent information the children are being neglected. But you have given zero reason for social services to investigate. It is not against the law to be dirty. If so I would be in jail for a long time. My child is eventually filthy by the end of the day. It is not against the law to not wear underware. Nor to not have socks. A child is allowed to be hungry but it doesn't mean they are starving. If you call CPS you must tell them more than what you provided here. It must meet state criteria. CPS does not ever, in any state, remove a child from a home. Only law enforcement or a judge can. If you make a call to CPS they will

    Answer by frogdawg at 10:48 AM on May. 27, 2011

  • determine if it meets criteria to investigate. Your current information as it is posted here would not. If you say tgey are in immediate physical danger then state will be looked into ASAP. But tgey have to be in danger right now and if so CPS will call law enforcement to ask them to remove the child. Think of it this way: if you called the police right now would the police officers think they are in danger and need protective custody right this second from imminent harm? If so, you can also call the police. As well as a judge through family court can issue a court order if a child is in danger. What you have is a dispute which you need to hire a lawyer to take the mother to court. But as you have it posted you have zero to convince the state they are in danger from their mother.

    Answer by frogdawg at 10:54 AM on May. 27, 2011

  • we are currently in the process with family court, but we have to prove her unfit for the judge to do anything. the mother has has close to 20 cps investigations started by various people in the past 3 years yet still has the kids. she let one of her friends burn her daughter with a bic lighter on the leg and still cps let her keep the children, even tho their father has an open and available home. we have talked to the school and the principal has reported that julia has missed so school, yet nothing has come of that either. we have a list from the school with all the days she has missed, which we also gave a copy to the kids atty and cps.

    Comment by hnaused2010 (original poster) at 10:54 AM on May. 27, 2011

  • OMG,, I almost threw up, when I read your reply about burning the child with a lighter,, let me ask you something? Do you think she would give you custody if you still payed her something? You could have her sign the rights over to you and then taper off the money after she has done it.. I think this woman deserves to be in jail,,, I cannot believe the court would not do anything,, do you have a gaurdian at litem? I think that is how you spell it.. Do the kids want to come and live with you,, bless you for being such a caring stepmom!

    Answer by kimigogo at 10:58 AM on May. 27, 2011