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How to make your friend see they need a shower without being rude?

i have a friend that comes to visit me often, but it could b 2 or 3 days between visits and she is always wearing the same clothes and hasnt bathed at all. she has a very unpleasant aroma about her that you can smell from the other side of the table. how do you tell people like this that they need a shower, without hurting their feelings or driving them away?

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Asked by hnaused2010 at 10:17 AM on May. 27, 2011 in Health

Level 8 (211 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • If they are friends I tell them straight up. Hey man you havent showered and you smell.

    Answer by gemgem at 10:18 AM on May. 27, 2011

  • Sounds like a case for tough love. Feelings might be hurt in this situation but it will be better in the long run. There's really no nice way of saying, "You are stinky." You kind of just have to say it.

    Answer by Vix920 at 10:18 AM on May. 27, 2011

  • Is she depressed? Are there reasons for her not showering? If you love her then you need to just tell her but before you tell her remind her that you love her and want what is best for her and not showering or changing her clothes regularly is bad for her health.

    Answer by coala at 10:19 AM on May. 27, 2011

  • Flat tell them.

    Answer by pookiekins34 at 10:21 AM on May. 27, 2011

  • For her birthday get her some nice shower gel, bath salts or other personal hygiene type things. If she doesn't get the hint, it may be time for the tough love.


    Answer by scout_mom at 10:21 AM on May. 27, 2011

  • was thinking about asking if the shower at her house was broken and seeing if she needs to use mine, or if she needs access to washer or dryer or whatever. maybe they out of laundry soap or shower gel or something,....except its been ongoing for a while.

    Comment by hnaused2010 (original poster) at 10:28 AM on May. 27, 2011

  • That would be hard because you don't want to hurt her feelings, but also do not want to sit there and smell her odor. Could you give her a gift basket of body stuff (maybe sample size of nice smelling stuff from bath and body works) and tell her something like "oh, I just picked this up the other day, I love this scent, and I bought some to share with friends. Try it out and let me know what you think of it". If that does not work then you may have to be honest and ask her about her showering habits, and let her know she needs to shower more often.

    Answer by MizLee at 10:28 AM on May. 27, 2011

  • My first thought: Is she depressed? What's going on with her personally?

    Answer by SAHMinIL2 at 10:29 AM on May. 27, 2011

  • I had this problem with my sister-in-law. We work at the same company and other employees were complaining to me about her odor. In private, I told her that people had mentioned she wasn't as fresh as she could be, and before somebody got rude or hurtful about it, I wanted to talk to her about it. I told her I loved her and didn't want people being mean to her, so maybe she needed to address herself a little better.

    Answer by hootie826 at 10:31 AM on May. 27, 2011

  • she doesnt seem depressed and she always chats with me, no problem there. she is now 4 months pregnant but she was like this before the baby

    Comment by hnaused2010 (original poster) at 10:31 AM on May. 27, 2011

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