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I called my DD a "lying sack of shit" last night. she's 18

I can not think of ONE conversation or sentence that has not been peppered with lies.
She is completely defiant of all authority and rules.

I've left messages apologizing for calling her a lying sack of shit. I've reminded her that I try very hard not to curse. always on her about it because the word fuck, fucker, fuckers, are in her EVERY statement.

I stated to her in these apology messages that I was angry and hurt to hear More half truths and lies.

Her lies have destroyed what have been many years of friendships, with people for my husband and I.

I'm not even sure why I'm sharing this.
Try not to be to mean in response if you feel it necessary.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:34 AM on May. 27, 2011 in Adult Children (18+)

This question is closed.
Answers (23)
  • She's 18. I'm sure she can handle it. I hate liars so if it's an all the time kind of thing for an ADULT, then yeah, maybe she needed to hear it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:35 AM on May. 27, 2011

  • You were angry.Youre human, youre allowed to lose it a little when your upset sometimes. You feel bad, you've apologized.Now forgive yourself. If she chooses to accept your apology or not well thats on her. If she wants to hold onto it forever and throw it in your face 10 years from now "YOU REMEMBER WHEN YOU CALLED ME A LYING SACK OF SHIT"?? well...thats her grudge to hold, not yours lol.
    Its alright ma. Words can hurt,but you were obviously hurt too by her actions at some point. Although I don't condone calling our children bad names..things happen.
    kimberlyinberea

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 11:38 AM on May. 27, 2011

  • Sometimes you gotta say whats on your mind to get through to someone. Where would she have learned all of her lying from? Theres a source she learned it from and is still continuing to learn it from if she is still lying. She needs to be cut off from that source to start seeing a change.
    campbellb3421

    Answer by campbellb3421 at 11:36 AM on May. 27, 2011

  • Yeah momma sometimes the truth is the truth and even when its not pleasant it comes out. I said that to my twenty year old. Sorry momma (((HUGS))))
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 11:39 AM on May. 27, 2011

  • maybe it was good for her to hear it from you, and i wouldnt have apologized.she needs to see you frustrated to know you are at your limit with it. especially if you are a hold it in kinda person.
    xxhazeldovexx

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 12:09 PM on May. 27, 2011

  • ambr2006, the girl isnt a child anymore, shes 18. i HIGHLY doubt op calls her dd names all the time because she wouldnt be so distraught over saying this if she did. in fact this is probably the ONE time she's lashed out at her dd verbally and she's obviously upset over her actions.. just wait until your eight year old turns into that 18 year old and you are eatting your own words.
    xxhazeldovexx

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 12:15 PM on May. 27, 2011

  • You are a human being! I wouldn't be upset about what you did, more about what she has done.. Does she live with you? I have no idea about her history, but perhaps cutting ties with her might be something to consider,, so sorry momma!
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 11:45 AM on May. 27, 2011

  • and op: i'm sorry you are going through this... so long as she's strong she'll make it through, and eventually realize what a jerk she was (your dd). I don't know how many times since I had kids that i've randomly apologized to my mom for this or that. I remember when I was a teen.. I use to flip out over stupid things, and one time without thinking I called my mom a bad word (can't remember what words I used, but it was something I never before called my mother, I wasjust so heated I forgot who I was tlking to). Anyways, my mom had had it at that point and smacked me across the face. Never in my entire life had my mom EVER hit me, she was soo against spankings, etc.. and at the time I was so mad at her.. a few years later, I actuallly gave her a hug and brought it up and said to her, you know what mom, I SOOO deserved that, and probably worse for the way I was acting at that point in my life.. and I'm sorry.
    xxhazeldovexx

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 12:21 PM on May. 27, 2011

  • Your human and maybe your daughter learned that she better not mess with mom! I am sorry your going through this hopefully she will find herself soon.  Just let your daughter know you love her, when she calls thank her for calling, when she lies call her out on it.

    mommiedear

    Answer by mommiedear at 2:24 PM on May. 27, 2011

  • Of course you haven't heard a parent saying that to their child - you have an 8 year old and teach 7 year olds. You have yet to deal with an asinine adult child that hasn't figured out that their shit is their responsibility and that the need to get their heads out of their asses. Sometimes, when an adult child is acting like a jackass, you have to call them on it.
    twinsplus2more

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 10:36 PM on May. 27, 2011

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