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2 Bumps

Cheater? Feeling depressed and betrayed...

Do you think it's cheating? Caught my fiance emailing and texting another woman. This is the first time ever. He called her "babe" in the emails. They had a meeting time and place set to hang out, but he he says he backed out. I confronted him and he ended it, swearing it never went beyond emailing and texting. I found out she was a girlfriend from high school and someone he had sex with in the past.

Totally devastated and depressed. How do you go on? Feel like I don't know him any more. Am I overreacting? Thanks for reading. Please help...

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:48 AM on May. 27, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • The same thing happened with my husband. It never went further than e-mailing, but thats still a form of cheating. I wouldnt end a marriage over it, but now you know to keep your eyes open. Its hard to "get past" it, but you need to try. Counseling is a great way to get things out without it turning to a fighting match. Some men reach a certain age or place in their life, and strive to be young again. Guess they want someone to boost their ego by flirting. I think thats all this was.
    thatgrlkels

    Answer by thatgrlkels at 12:16 PM on May. 27, 2011

  • I don't think this is somthing I would END my marriage over, if you are SURE this is the only time it has happened. I would call the girl, and ask her if they had met or not,, I wouldn't be totally bitchy to her, but I would say that he came clean, and you would appreciate it if she didn't call or email him anymore,, IS she married as well? I wonder what her husband would think about this? I think you need to have a very long talk about commitment and what it means to both of you.. I understand that something new can be exciting, but what are years spent raising a family for.? I would ask/demand that you all go to counseling of some sort. I know your trust is broken, and from now on he needs to let you have access to everything, texts, facebook, and emails. so sorry hon!
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 11:57 AM on May. 27, 2011

  • He could be getting cold feet and looking for an out. Before you finalize things you need to take a good long look at where you are and where the two of you really want to be.

    I agree with everything kimigogo said. If he has anything to hide now is the time to know. If he isn't up for counseling then that would be a red flag that he isn't willing to do what ever it takes to make your relationship work.

    sipn_mom

    Answer by sipn_mom at 12:08 PM on May. 27, 2011

  • I don't think you are overreaacting.. I think its cheating. Did he only SAY he ended it because you found out..? How many times has he done this before that you don't know about? I would honestly not be able to be with him. I have trust issues anyway.. so this would really break me down.
    SuperrMommyy

    Answer by SuperrMommyy at 12:07 PM on May. 27, 2011

  • I think he was just trying to re-live his youth. I would be upset too, but I could forgive this.
    Ms.Gwen

    Answer by Ms.Gwen at 12:08 PM on May. 27, 2011

  • Totally NOT overreacting. He has cheated in his heart. This is frequently a precursor to the "real thing" and definitely a sign that all is not well.
    1smartcookie

    Answer by 1smartcookie at 12:48 PM on May. 27, 2011

  • For him to be calling her babe, they must have been emailing and texting for awhile.
    How do you not know they haven't already met in person? where there is a will there is a way they could met anywhere especially if she isn't too far away. He got caught so of course he would tell you it was only emails and texts. Did you get a chance to read all the emails? I'm sure by reading them you would be able to tell if they have met up somewhere.
    Also what did the emails say? If they were intense they may be more to it then he's telling you. Yeah this is cheating and yeah he has confess to what he has, but I would keep an eye on him and he should be open to anything you want to know like email access and texts and cell phone. If he doesnt then I would be worried. He can alwyas make another email acct to get in touch some way so just because you have access to his email acct doesn't mean he doesn't have another acct. Just keep your eye
    SnapIt

    Answer by SnapIt at 5:40 PM on May. 27, 2011

  • If he was able to do that what makes you think it hasnt happened before with other woman? I wouldnt ever be able to trust him again. Id call it quits.
    campbellb3421

    Answer by campbellb3421 at 11:51 AM on May. 27, 2011

  • Honestly, I think he's proven himself untrustworthy. You're not even married yet and he's planning a rendezvous that "never happened". I would take this as a sign he's not ready to settle down and I would move on!
    Austinsmom35

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 12:03 PM on May. 27, 2011

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