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What would you do if you found out your tweens/teens were having sex?

I know you can't stop them from being sexually active altogether, but I would make it my life goal to inform them about how having sex can change their lives forever. Teaching them sex safety, condoms, pregnancy, how sex can change relationships. I would make sure my son is always with condoms and about girls her are just out for a "good time". My daughter the same thing. I would encourage them to wait and have sex until they find someone who they truly care about and definitely someone who cares about them and accepts them for who each other are.
WWYD?

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SMITxsM2

Asked by SMITxsM2 at 2:09 PM on May. 27, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 18 (5,560 Credits)
Answers (15)
  • Tweens I would have a bigger problem with and might lay down some laws and restrictions from giving them any free time where it can happen. Teens, well, early on I always taught being responsible for sex. They got condoms and birth control.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 2:12 PM on May. 27, 2011

  • Have a fit. Like I did. DD's. Put them on BC ASAP. DS, threated him. "You better not get a females pregnant". My DD's are 27 and 32. So I already had THE TALK with them. They did not get pregnant while they where teens.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 2:14 PM on May. 27, 2011

  • Oh, I'm sorry I forgot to add that part about tweens. I would be upset and let them know with every part of my bones that them having sex was not going to happen and they would get the talk. I would go ballistic too, though in my mind. They will not be allowing my tweens to have sex PERIOD.
    SMITxsM2

    Comment by SMITxsM2 (original poster) at 2:18 PM on May. 27, 2011

  • i would love to say laying down the law and restricting them would stop them, but it wont (there are ways around that)... education is the best way to make them understand, talk their ears off, show them picture of sexually transmitted diseases, get them in contact with someone who got pregnant your and let them talk to them and let them realize the struggles, and consequences that come with it. I’m talking from experience i did not have any of that... my parents didnt direct sex talks towards me because i was the "good one" they directed it towards my sister.... i ended up pregnant at 17, im not blaming anyone, I HEARD them talk about it, it just did not sink in. I believe talking and talking and talking about it over and over again, would have helped me understand the perplexity of the situation. i just wish i was talked to more about it and i wish i was educated and realized the consequences

    Kambrosino07

    Answer by Kambrosino07 at 2:32 PM on May. 27, 2011

  • i also wouldnt go crazy on your kids when they come and talk to you about it, because if you do you will lose that trust, i told my stepmom i was having sex (she always told me she would be there to help and would listen) but instead she blew up and i completly shut people out of what i was doing. i didnt trust her so i went to my "friends" for advise because of that..... lets just say everyone i talked told me how fun and exciting it was especially males, not one of them told me how damaging it could be having sex that early... NOT ONE.... so be open with your kids let them know you are there for them and NEVERZ blow up or they will stop coming to you and they will go oter places for info.. Also i am totally against Tweens having sex too but i will tell you my sister started doing sexual things at 12 and had sex the first time at 14 (she didnt get the sex talk til (15) so talk to your kids early
    Kambrosino07

    Answer by Kambrosino07 at 2:39 PM on May. 27, 2011

  • wow... idk I would hope my kids dont do that stuff, we are raising our children to be religous and live a rightous path, to go on missions, not have premarital sex, etc. I have no idea what I would do!!
    kpolitte

    Answer by kpolitte at 2:44 PM on May. 27, 2011

  • lol my aunt is teaching my 11 year old cousin about sex right now....she called and asked me what diseases would freak my cousin out.....i told her just show her any of them and tell her "thats what might happen if your not safe and have sex without a condom" then my aunt asked me if there's one that will just scare her to death.....and i refused to tell her the one that scared me, but my dad ended up telling her anyway....my cousin is now never gonna have sex because my aunt showed my cousin a picture of a blue waffle O.O

    but when my sons a teen (15 most likely) my boyfriend will buy our son condoms if he needs them or we'll have a bowl with a bunch of condoms in it and switch it out every couple weeks
    Lizzypuppylove

    Answer by Lizzypuppylove at 2:46 PM on May. 27, 2011

  • kpolitte~ i was not raised religious but Thank the Lord i found GOD! i am raising my son the same way and i hope that my son will learn from the thing that happened to me. i pray for him everyday. and when he is old i plan on doing exactly what my parents did not do with me. talk about it, and talk about it alot. ill let him know the expectations i have for my son and ill let him know i would be disappointed if he does those things but i will not shut him out, i will let him know if he needs to talk i always be there no matter what. i can tell you this my best friend was raised in a religious house hold and her mom never talked to her about sex, ever except to let her know not to do it until your married. She ended up rebelling against her mom badly, she also ended up pregnant a month after her 15th birthday.
    Kambrosino07

    Answer by Kambrosino07 at 2:55 PM on May. 27, 2011

  • tweens? i would freak out. they are way too young for that kind of bond. teens it's to be expected, but i hope no younger than 16. as long as they are safe and use protection.
    momofone725

    Answer by momofone725 at 3:39 PM on May. 27, 2011

  • It is very important to talk to your kids early not because they are going to have sex but influences of other kids in there school and they might be saying how cool it sounds or might already might be experiencing. I would talk to my kids, age 10 believe it or not, at an early age because I want them to be leaders in making smart decisions and hopefully they set an example to their peers for what is cool and not. I will not blow up on my kids, even though I will be freaking out in my head, if I found out they were. I will talk until my own ears goes deaf. Show them pictures as well as real life situations. I feel like parents need to prepare for things that their kids are going to do instead of waiting until the last minute. I feel very strongly against parents letting the school system raise their kids, answering hard questions for them, and teaching them about real life situations because nobody can do it like the parents.
    SMITxsM2

    Comment by SMITxsM2 (original poster) at 4:00 PM on May. 27, 2011

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