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I am an awful mother and horrible person

Some of the things that I've been picking up here especially in the last week or so.....

I smoked during my pregnancy, had some wine and a little bit of weed too.
I still occasionally smoke a bowl or have a drink with my hubby after the kids have gone to bed. (Although I've done neither since hubby lost his "good" job; just not any extra money to waste on that stuff)
I'm not technically officially *married* I guess my children are bastards and I'm living in sin
I nursed in public
I let my baby eat off my plate
I ask my friends to bring food over if we're having a get together
I used a monkey harness with my oldest and plan to with my youngest.
I use BC instead of just not having sex
I get WIC and, more recently, foodstamps
I sometimes let my 5yo go outside in the courtyard of our apartment complex without me (I can see the whole thing from my window)
I'm sure I could think of more if I felt like it.

Gosh it's a wonder I can even manage to raise children. Somehow they are well fed, dressed in clean clothes that fit properly, are very active little boys who aren't sitting in front of the tv eating junk food all day. They are smart, mostly well behaved happy children. But still.... I really SUCK at this parenting thing I guess.
What do cafemomers think of YOUR lifestyle? Are you the Mom of the Year or are you awful like me?


Asked by Nicoles2LilRams at 2:22 PM on May. 27, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Level 21 (10,161 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (40)
  • I smoked while pregnant also, not proud ut I did all 5 times, and I get WIC I dont work I am a SHM mom and army wife, and I drink on the weekends at home with DH an friends while all the kids play, and not just "a beer' like 7 or 8 over the day... and so does MOST of te families I know here, I think that MOST of the women on here are full of shit and like to have a cafemom perfect persona! I bet all the people who think I am horrible dont have a perfectly clean home like I do, and dont volunteer 4 days a week, etc.... just a point!

    Answer by JoLee12345 at 4:34 PM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • "Smoked during my pregnancy, had some wine and a little bit of weed too" I would Consider that a selfish mother.


     There is nothing wrong with breastfeeding in public, WIC, sharing food, and Foodstamps.


    Answer by momavanessa at 2:28 PM on May. 27, 2011

  • The only thing on your list that I think is bad is what you put in your body while pregnant. I'm not trying to be judgememtnal but those have proven risks. Otherwise more power to ya!! We have the right to each raise our children how we see fit as long as they are safe. I love pot lucks and always offer to bring something so that one cracked me up. I nursed in public too! I think people can get over it!

    Answer by ria7 at 2:28 PM on May. 27, 2011

  • Lol I know what you mean. I asked a question the other day about what people have there little boy or girl call there private area....I got TONS of responses and most of them were scolding me for even considering anything other then penis or vagina. By the end of reading all the answers I was told that I am insecure in my body and I am teaching my kids to be the same and I am a bad mother for having my son call his penis wee wee LOL Woman can be crazy on here.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:29 PM on May. 27, 2011

  • I'm an exotic dancer and alot of women look down at me like I'm a bad mother for doing that, which is funny because I go off 2 hours of sleep, take care of my child, pay my bills and go to school. My child has more clothes and toys then he knows what to do with and he gets to go to the zoo or aquarium or something along those lines every weekend. I might be dancing at the moment but it's what I have to do to provide for my child. Everyone raises their children different, ass long as you aren't beating your child and they are taken care of and your not doing those things in front of him/her or gettng too messed up to take care of your child then kudos to you!

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:35 PM on May. 27, 2011

  • I don't do everything on your list so I'm not quite as awful as does that make me better?
    (sarcastic tone...kidding...I know I'm not better)

    Answer by meooma at 2:25 PM on May. 27, 2011

  • I dont think there are "perfect moms" everyone makes mistakes. I completely disagree with your life style and I am the exact opposite, dh and i are married (didnt have premarital sex) I got preggers with my 1st on our wedding night... we do not believe in drugs, alcohol or smoking... but we also believe that nodody can judge anyone because nobody is perfect! Just try and do whats best for your lo's!!

    Answer by kpolitte at 2:28 PM on May. 27, 2011

  • Yes I have been on WIC and Food Stamps before. My husband and I worked hard at getting back on our feet after he got laid off from the high dollar job he had. Times are tough so I don't understand how people can STILL give others a hard time about stuff like that. I guess because I went through it myself I know how they feel.


    Answer by momavanessa at 2:31 PM on May. 27, 2011

  • I use to smoke pot but once I found out I was pregnant with my daughter I never did it again.
    My mother thinks Im a bad mother because I put my child in time outs and because I never give her any "sweets"

    There are to many judgmental people in the world. As long as your child is safe, fed, clothed and has a place to live your doing a good job.

    Answer by Augusta at 2:34 PM on May. 27, 2011

  • i totally agree with those who said its selfish putting bad things in your body when pregnant and breastfeeding; weed, drugs, smoking, wine, any of those that could and DO harm a child, just cuz nothing has happened to your kids and nothing thats noticably wrong with your children yet ,doesnt mean they were ok for you to do, you just got lucky but ya shouldnt take the chance if you really care about them, but you shouldnt really care about what people think of you, just think about the safety of your children thats all that matters....


    Answer by RobinEsMommy at 3:08 PM on May. 27, 2011