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My SO thinks I'm too needy..

I see him almost every day, but he thinks "quality time" is me sitting on his bed with our daughter, while he plays video games. When I try to hug him, he just stands there sometimes, and if he's on the computer when I want him to lay with me and cuddle, he will say I'm too needy and MAYBE lay with me for 3-5 minutes. We hardly ever talk about anything other than video games, and when I try and talk to him, he doesn't say anything back. Like today, he was playing around hitting me, and I eventually told him to stop, and he told me I was being whiny. I just want a loving relationship!

I love him so much, but the only time I think he cares about me is when we're being intimate with each other. I've talked to him about it, but he doesn't seem to understand. I don't know what to do to get through to him that this isn't good enough for me. Help?

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sunshineemommy

Asked by sunshineemommy at 10:05 PM on Dec. 8, 2008 in Relationships

Level 16 (3,085 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • He sounds very immature. He needs to grow up and learn what it means to be a man. Go to www.joelandkathy.com and read the free download.
    PamJM

    Answer by PamJM at 10:11 PM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • have you tried playing the games with him I play with my SO and we have a blast and go to bed and have cuddle time we make it work good luck though

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:14 PM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • I wouldn't be happy sitting there watching someone else play a game. You could join in the game as the other one said, or you could get up and do something else. My dh loves playing freecell on the computer and of course I love cafemom... so often we get our laptops and we're both doing our thing but still talking to each other while we're doing it but when I'm not on mine, I'm bored to tears watching him play the game so I just get up and go do something else. Your guy sounds very immature, so I'm not sure what to tell you other than if he's not willing to change, then you need to decide if you can change, or if you're wanting more out of life than what you're getting right now with this relationship. Personally I want someone to treat me nice in and out of the bedroom.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 10:21 PM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • I have tried playing with him, but he gets frustrated that i'm not good, and that makes me not want to play. He will stay up until 7 in the morning sometimes playing, and makes me go to bed by myself.
    sunshineemommy

    Answer by sunshineemommy at 10:24 PM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • When a man prefers a video game to a warm blooded woman, something is wrong but I hear this same story way too often. Thank goodness my hubby isn't in to anything but freecell lol
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 10:30 PM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • ahh I have the same problem..My DH doesn't know what quality time is and he also thinks it's literally sitting there beside eachother while he is doing one thing like playing his video game and and I am doing another. What I did is decide to find a game I like playing with him. We both play it for a while and it's actually fun if you do it then in return I get my snuggle time. That way were both doing something for eachother with eachother.
    TiffanyLove18

    Answer by TiffanyLove18 at 10:40 PM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • Tell him..Practice makes perfect.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:42 PM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • Does your SO have a job? How do you play video games until 7 in the morning? Honestly it sounds like you have two children in your life. He needs to grow up if he is going to be a father and if he isn't then you need to move on because he's he's holding you back. You can't make him want to be a man but your daughter needs a real father.
    beckcorc

    Answer by beckcorc at 10:46 PM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • He has a job, but he works weird hours so most of the time he isn't tired when I am, and even when he is, he won't go to sleep anyways. He gets upset when I make him turn off the tv and talk/spend time with me.
    sunshineemommy

    Answer by sunshineemommy at 10:53 PM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • This website might help you http://www.olganon.org/ It is about addiction to gaming. My husband is a tad bit too into WoW so I became involved on this site to better understand. This might be your problem. It could also just be that your husband isn't capable of understanding your needs because he is one of those men who turn the emotions off.
    cat1622

    Answer by cat1622 at 10:56 PM on Dec. 8, 2008

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