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3 Bumps

My 2 yr old is already telling me to SHUT UP!!!

I have ni idea where in the hell she has picked up this word. DH and I do not use it. We tell her to "hush" if she is talking when the adults were talking first, or if she starts screaming ect. This is annoying to say the least not to mention entirely unacceptable and disrespectful!! Any ideas on what to do with this? I have done the time out and when I tell her to hush cause shes in a time out, she says "shut up mommy!" I am confused on what to do. One lady told me to start popping her mouth really lightly, I am not sure if I am comfortable about that. But I am at a loss on what to do. Help me!!!


Asked by Michigan-Mom74 at 4:54 PM on May. 27, 2011 in Toddlers (1-2)

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This question is closed.
Answers (18)
  • Okay, I have an idea on this. I know you don't want the behavior to continue so you are looking for ways to STOP her, lol, but what if you responded when it happens using reflective listening? This doesn't engage her in head-to-head conflict by negating her & it doesn't lead to a power struggle. It also doesn't project extra "meaning" onto her use of the phrase (making it all about being disrespectful...which, I agree with you, the phrase is a disrespectful one & very triggering, but I don't think a toddler is really "owning" it in that way, you know?) I think making a point of correcting or resisting gives more power to it & also is likely to inspire her counter-resistance, because her use of the phrase is innocent & not calculating, so she will resist the suggestion of "wrongness." Then you are stuck in a battle & your only choices are to back down or to escalate. I always favor engaging cooperation over forcing compliance.

    Answer by girlwithC at 9:57 PM on May. 28, 2011

  • Popping her in the mouth will just confuse her then she will start hitting you bc you would be showing her it's ok to hit. Just tell her it's not nice to say Shut Up. Tell her it makes you sad when she does it. She might tell you "but (fill in the blank) says it". Then you will know where it came from. It could be from a neighbor yelling at their dog! You never know. Just teach her what is right.

    Answer by admckenzie at 5:12 PM on May. 27, 2011

  • Pick her up and put her in her room. Tell her when she wants to talk with nice words than she can come out. (don't make a big deal just pick her up.)

    Answer by gammie at 5:00 PM on May. 27, 2011

  • Kids soak up all kinds of things- like a sponge- and it can be surprising what comes out of their mouths, and when! She may be saying it to get a reaction out of you... the more you react the more she will say it. Do NOT give 'power' to the words, instead you may want to substitute something else for 'shut up'. Make a big production out of saying the new word, and then act like it is a 'powerful' word... then she may just forget about shut up. When she says shut up I would simply say "we don't talk like that" and then distract her with something.

    Answer by MizLee at 5:16 PM on May. 27, 2011

  • She heard it somewhere. Children are influenced by more than just us. :( I would continue with the time outs - calmly put her there saying we do not speak that way and don't say anymore about it. I would absolutely NOT physically reprimand her at all.

    Answer by Nonoluna at 4:57 PM on May. 27, 2011

  • Its no telling where kids get these words and phrases but you can encourage her to NOT say the ones that are inappropriate and eventually she will stop. Just be consistent, always insist she use nice words.Good luck! :-)

    Answer by minnesotanice at 5:03 PM on May. 27, 2011

  • She may have heard it on TV, at daycare, at the park, in the store...I don't know about popping her but tell her sternly it is not acceptable to talk to people that way and you will not tolerate it. If she does it again, from there on out, use your chosen discipline method.

    Answer by ohbladi at 5:08 PM on May. 27, 2011

  • @ esam.......u ma'am are out of line. I am the parent here, and I had no intention of laying a hand on my daughter in anger thats why I felt uncomfortable about that. I also will NEVER EVER slap her!! She only 2 for god sakes!! She knows I do not like it, she is just unsure why I do. When she reaches her tweens and teenage yrsd and she knows better (if I make it that far) and she tells me to shut up rest assured there will be some slapping going on there. As for the creator?? I am her creator, I am the one who gave birth to her

    Comment by Michigan-Mom74 (original poster) at 5:14 PM on May. 27, 2011

  • Its funny how you said you have no idea where she has hear the words "shut up" cause you and hubby do not use that word. Trust me she did not make the word up on her own, someone had to have said it in front of her whether it be you or someone else. I would think popping her on the mouth would be a bit abusive imo. Everything our children know they learn from us or the outside world thats why I have chosen to homeschool cause I dont want any of the bad behavior picked up from anywhere else. What my kids see and hear are very important to me so I keep a close eye out. If I were you I would start narrowing down where she pick that word up from so that way mommy and daddy are not confusing her. Now if she attend daycare, the caretakers might be using that word.

    Answer by LANDENSMOMMYlmk at 5:35 PM on May. 27, 2011

  • I think dd might be picking up that word from her13 yro cousin. She babysits for me sometimes. I haven't been able to ask her cause she has been at a camp for the past 2 weeks. But that the only thing i can think of. She doesn't watch cartoons to much, she likes to play in her room with her stuffed animals having tea or shes outside when weather permits. Well thank u all for the advice, well except "anon" who in my opinion is a coward and calling me a "bad mother" and going anonymous speaks alot for her character. If I was such a bad mom, I wouldn't have come here asking for advice/help and just started to "pop" her in the mouth and throwing her in her room or what not. She says kids learn from examples, well I think the example shes giving her kids is its alright to to say mean and awful things to someone who is just asking for help. I am a 1st time mom with NO prior experience with toddlers with nobody I can go to for help

    Comment by Michigan-Mom74 (original poster) at 10:47 PM on May. 27, 2011