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Does anyone else out there have a very dedicated husband/partner who simply can't help anymore with a new baby?

My husband is awesome, but he's super busy at work, runs three times a week and is taking a course online. All of this is to either protect his health and/or our family. The issue is that I am alone with the baby and I don't see him until after 5pm (then he usually runs). He can't ask off work because his job depends on him and we depend upon his job! I'm on maternity leave and do go to a mommy group, the gym (they have a child watch) and have my parents close by...but I miss my husband! Anyone experienced the same thing? Any advice? Please keep it positive as I also have PPD...I don't need a lecture on "sucking it up" ;)

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mfs1980

Asked by mfs1980 at 5:41 PM on May. 27, 2011 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 2 (2 Credits)
Answers (4)
  • You need to have someone babysit your baby for the evening and you and your hubby need to have an evening alone. It is normal for new parents to sort of drift apart. You both have to make the effort to make sure that your relationship stays important.
    coala

    Answer by coala at 5:44 PM on May. 27, 2011

  • yep. recently his job got bought out by another company, and he's working from 7am till sometimes 10 at night. and they don't even pay over time. (don't ask) he's also going to school at night. however, he just failed one class because his job isn't letting him off to get to his classes, and if he misses 3 days in a row he automatically fails. he never has time for homework, or us for that matter. i feel bad for the kids, whenever they talk about daddy now, they always mention he's at work.

    i'm used to it though, as he deployed for 12 months a couple years ago. so it really isn't that hard for me to take charge when i need to. since you're on Maternity leave, just take care of your baby and sleep when your baby does. he's working hard for yall...just remember that he loves you enough to keep you cared for. at least he isn't the type to just quit his job with no plan....GL girl!
    armywife43

    Answer by armywife43 at 5:48 PM on May. 27, 2011

  • That's great that he's such a good worker and that he's taking care of his education, and his health. Running isn't going anywhere though. Your baby is growing quickly, and he's missing valuable time to spend with you both. I don't see why he can't set aside more time for you and the baby by skipping the run every once in a while. Maybe do a movie night at home? I feel like he should have more understanding for what you're going through with being a new mommy, especially since you seem to be so understanding of all his needs. I have a 2 week old and have felt needy as far as missing my husband while he's gone and wanting him to give me attention. I think it's normal. Having a baby can be a little overwhelming at times, as well as amazing. I don't think anyone would want to feel like they're experiencing it without their partner.
    ours

    Answer by ours at 7:56 PM on May. 27, 2011

  • It's hard but try to enjoy the time that you do have together.
    justme782

    Answer by justme782 at 6:56 PM on May. 28, 2011

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