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What would you do when he got home?

Ok so I am 18 weeks pregnant with my first baby and i am sitting at home alone because my boyfriend left. Here what happened: He wanted to go to a party ( big drinking party) right after dinner. I told him i didnt feel comfortable going to a party while i am pregnant and being around drunk people. I asked him if we could go do something else and he got mad and said it wouldnt hurt me to go with him. After arguing for a while he got mad and told me he was going without me. I started crying and begging him for us to do something else. I didnt want to stay here alone because we just moved into a new place beside this old graveyard and church (yeah i am a chicken) and i am not comfortable staying here alone yet. So i was trying to explain all this to him and gets pissed and jumps up and punches the door and leaves and has been gone for 2 hours. Everyone i know is in the bed and he has no cell and i am getting kinda freaked out here alone plus i am so upset over him acting that way. What would you do when he got home? Should i apoligize and try to make things better, should i try to be brave and lock him out and go to bed?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:26 PM on May. 27, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • Do you have somewhere else you could go, like ahotel, parents, etc...? I would not apologize because it doesn'tsound like you did anything wrong or made unreasonable requests. He's about to have a baby it sounds like he needs to grow up and act like an adult.

    Answer by IamErin-K. at 11:30 PM on May. 27, 2011

  • My parents are already in the bed and i really dont have any where else to go. Thanks for the reply,, i was starting to think that i should have went with him that it was no big deal but i just dont think pregnant women should be at a party

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:33 PM on May. 27, 2011

  • He needs to grow up and step up and act like a parent that he is about to become. Men don't understand pregnancy.. But it's both your baby and he should be there for you to help you. I was so emotional during both my pregnancies. I wouldn't apologize even tho sometimes I just want things to be better and normal you weren't wrong he was and if you apologize he will never learn.

    Answer by Februarymom2009 at 11:35 PM on May. 27, 2011

  • lock him out? why would you do that, youre just adding fule to the fire and being childish that way, be the bigger person. You were both wrong. Why he would feel ok to punch something is insanely stupid my Dh used to do that ish and it drives me up a wall. He was right it wouldn't have hurt you to go with him. It also wont hurt you being home alone, you're grown and there was no need to agitate things by crying. If you didn't want to go your options were stay home or go do something else and thats what you should have done, you cant have all the cake, see what I'm saying? I would have told him go but I wasn't coming (not mean, just that I didn't want to go) grabbed a book or called a friend and kissed him good night. There isn't enough time in life, don't waste it with you both acting like babies and upsetting each other.

    I hope you BOTH apologize and make up, congratz on your baby!!

    Answer by GirlWithANikon at 11:36 PM on May. 27, 2011

  • You did the right thing by staying home. I don't think you did anything that warrants an apology from you so don't do it. Is his temper always like that? Ultimately tis is yur relationship so do what u think is right.

    Answer by alboston at 11:38 PM on May. 27, 2011

  • If he is hitting the wall with anger and frustration, what is going to happen when he is frustrated with a crying baby and every other stress that goes along with being a parent?
    With that said, you had two options...go with him or stay home. He chose what he wanted to do and you chose what you wanted. Perhaps next time you can make plans to go spend the night with your parents so you won't be scared being alone while he goes out to party. You can't depend on him to take care of your emotional needs so you are going to have to make other plans to fulfill your own. As for the moment, lock the door and when he knocks on the door when he gets home you are going to have to just wake up and let him in. You deserve peace, safety and respect. Nothing less. You are worthy and deserving of a caring relationship.

    Answer by marriagecoach at 11:55 PM on May. 27, 2011

  • First of all don't listen to anyone who says you were both wrong. He was the one who was wrong. It wouldn't hurt him to be an adult now and on a Friday night go somewhere with his pregnant SO that is not a big drunk party. Second, having his tantrum and punching doors in not okay no matter how pissed he was. And really, you asking him to do something with you and even if you got upset and cried, doesn't make what he did okay. I can tell you from experience a guy who chooses booze parties over actual family, woman and kids, makes for a miserable life. It's okay to go out and have time with friends but that is not what this was and his freak out did not need to happen.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:36 AM on May. 28, 2011

  • I wouldn't lock him out of his own home. I would go to bed and not really say anything. He'll be drunk and won't remember what you say tomorrow. Talk to him tomorrow

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:40 AM on May. 28, 2011

  • Thanks to everyone for all the advice. He actually came home about an hour after I posted this and apoligized to me and said he felt bad after he got there and couldnt have fun because he was worried about me. We worked everything out and for now it all good.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:35 PM on May. 28, 2011

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