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3 Bumps

I don't want to be with him. Would you leave in this situation?

I posted not too long ago about how my dh is a compulsive liar, and he will try to twist it around on me because I don't trust him. This has went on for 6 years...He's also made me feel like crap about everything possible. Everything is wrong with me.
Today he told me no man would want to be with me, and when I told him I wanted him to leave he said he would if I had a car. He's using mine. That's great. He's staying because he's using my car...He manipulates and tried to make me think it's my fault and I know it's not! He had me almost convinced a couple years ago that maybe it was me, but it's not. It's him. He's called me fat, he's made fun of me sexually, he's compared me to other women, he's said a lot of mean, hurtful things to me about my appearance. After all that today he started his fake apology crap then harassed me for sex, and I didn't want to because he treats me like crap, then he apologizes, I forgive and it just repeats...I just want him gone, but he doesn't want to leave, and it's true that he needs a car to get to and from work, but I don't want us together. I definitely can't leave, it would be him that left. We would be getting a car next year after we get a bill paid off, should I stick it out until then? I really don't want to, but I can do it. Would you leave if your dh was like this? PS He's not alyways mean, sometime he's the opposite and great, but the ugly side of him is more dominant.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:40 PM on May. 27, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • That's abuse. He needs therapy. I would not only understand but recommend leaving, At least until he gets help
    kayslay

    Answer by kayslay at 11:43 PM on May. 27, 2011

  • oh my. Im sorry to hear of this
    Esam

    Answer by Esam at 11:44 PM on May. 27, 2011

  • I am in the same boat. I want him gone so bad i can hardly stand it. But with him he doesn't have anywhere to go or the money to rent. I feel your pain.
    IamErin-K.

    Answer by IamErin-K. at 11:44 PM on May. 27, 2011

  • I would tell him to kick rocks because he seems nice when he wants something. Life is too short to be with someone who is not honest or loving with you. GL Momma
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 11:50 PM on May. 27, 2011

  • It is time to think about yourself. Don't worry about what he does or doesn't have. If you have somewhere you can go to then leave. If not have him evicted and get a restraining order.
    treynlisa

    Answer by treynlisa at 11:55 PM on May. 27, 2011

  • Leave him!! He sounds like my ex fianance, he did the exact same thing and it tore me up so much inside. Becasuse of him I have trouble commiting to relationships. You need to leave him because of what he is doing to you, you deserve someone so much better. Dont take yourself for grant it, respect yourself, who will respect you if you cant?
    GuardianAngel27

    Answer by GuardianAngel27 at 11:58 PM on May. 27, 2011

  • Get back up and kick his ass out!! The place is YOURS, the car is YOURS! Don't give him a car! You have given enough over 6 years. Talk to people and find someone(s) to be there with you when you kick him. He sounds like a bad habit, you know the drug is killing you, but it can make you feel so good.
    Audrice1985

    Answer by Audrice1985 at 12:19 AM on May. 28, 2011

  • get a separation order from the courts and kick him out.. or hate to say it.. but leave, the fight for the house later. he IS abusing you mentally, trust me i was there for 8 long years...
    xxhazeldovexx

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 12:38 AM on May. 28, 2011

  • Well you answered it yourself. You don't want to be with him. So kick him out.
    emmyandlisa

    Answer by emmyandlisa at 12:40 AM on May. 28, 2011

  • If it were me I'd tell him that he can pack his crap and get out! So what if he does not have a car, he can call a cab, call a friend, call a family member to come get him or walk! Do NOT let him use "but I don't have a car" line to make you feel sorry for him and let him stay. I would suggest calling a lawyer, find out what your rights are and what you are entitled to, and also ask how you can have him removed from the house. Good luck!
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 2:17 AM on May. 28, 2011

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