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Do you think it is better for your kids to stay in a bad marriage or divorce?

Any opinion on how they will do in the future.

 
kdwiegandt

Asked by kdwiegandt at 10:19 AM on May. 28, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 20 (9,555 Credits)
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Answers (15)
  • Staying in a bad marriage will teach the children that indifference equals a healthy relationship, not good. We are molded by what we live, that's why abuse is a cycle. The same goes for unhealthy relationships. It is better to be divorced and supportive of each other as parents than to try to stuff yourselves into a box that you don't fit into. Also, the parents would be better parents if there isn't the stress of a bad relationship. With support and counseling the children will get past the divorce, especially if they are reminded that they were created in love.
    Aneya

    Answer by Aneya at 12:28 PM on May. 28, 2011

  • Divorce...they can sense when things are not right even if you don;t argue in-front of them and they can sense there is no love and they will in turn learn that's how a relationship should be that even if your unhappy it doesn;t matter....with a divorce yeah they will be upset but in time they will adapt and be okay. some therapy may be needed so they can get their feeling out to someone outside of the situation so they are not afraid to hurt your feelings.

    happymama02

    Answer by happymama02 at 10:22 AM on May. 28, 2011

  • Divorce is always better if the marriage is bad.
    emmyandlisa

    Answer by emmyandlisa at 10:21 AM on May. 28, 2011

  • I was raised by parents who should have divorced long before my dad passed away when I was nearly 16. My saving grace was that my mom drilled into my head to do as she said, not as she did. Because of this I didn't grow up thinking that's how husbands were supposed to treat their wives. I would think most children being raised by parents in a bad marriage aren't so lucky. It definitely does more harm than good when parents stay together just because of the kids.
    Ginger0104

    Answer by Ginger0104 at 10:32 AM on May. 28, 2011

  • Depends on the people involved. If you can be civil and kind to each other then it might be better to stay. If kids only hear mean words, and fighting, then it's better to divorce. The problem is even if you divorce you have to learn to get along and be around the kids together.

    RyansMom001

    Answer by RyansMom001 at 10:36 AM on May. 28, 2011

  • I don't think it is fair for the kids to stay in a bad marriage unless there is some hope that things will change and both parties are willing to put all efforts into making changes. I agree that staying in a bad marriage can do more harm then good.
    mconnoll

    Answer by mconnoll at 11:32 AM on May. 28, 2011

  • It's not healthy to stay in a bad marriage at all. Kids are miserable in a bad marriage.
    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 12:09 PM on May. 28, 2011

  • I say divorce, I heard once that children rather come from a broken home, than live in one. I would always want to model for my kids that they deserve and should demand respect out of their intimate relationships, and if I was in a relationship where i was not treated with respect, I would never want my kids to think that it is okay.
    Bubbie0809

    Answer by Bubbie0809 at 12:38 PM on May. 28, 2011

  • after 11 years my aunt is divorcing my uncle...she wanted to try to work through it for my baby cousin but now my uncle isnt paying the bills, they're 17 months behind on house payments and loosing their house

    so i would say divorce.....its not right to have your kids see you and your SO fighting all the time
    Lizzypuppylove

    Answer by Lizzypuppylove at 1:12 PM on May. 28, 2011

  • NEVER stay in a bad marriage "for the children". My parents did this and I wish they would have divorced when things started to go bad, instead of sucking it up, staying married and making everyone miserable. My sis and I could tell that things were 'off' in the house, and that mom was unhappy, that there were undercurrents and things we did not understand. We could feel the tension, and dreaded coming home as we never knew what the 'mood' of the house would be-- we had to deal with the backstabbing, rude comments, cold silences.... It was NOT a good way to grow up. My parents finally divorced when I was a teen. My sis and I felt sooo much better when our parents split up and we moved out with mom. We finally could be happy, and not have to put up with their crap.
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 5:10 PM on May. 28, 2011

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