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Would you end a relationship if you knew the trust was gone, but the heartache of doing so was unbearable???

I have been seeing someone for just about 6 months. We both agreed that it was exclusive. There have been times that an arguement led us to not seeing/contacting each other for a week at a time in the past. Everything has been really good this past month. However,I just found out that 1 month ago he was emailing and sending pics of himself to someone he met on match.com. His profile was apparently hidden off and on so I wouldnt find out about it, all he says in his defense is that he has not talked or chatted to anyone else in the past month!! I havent eaten in 2 days am completely devastated over the fact that he even had a profile at all even if we were not speaking for that week,and then he emails her pics of him with his child in some of them as well as forwards her his profile.I havent spoken to him and probably should end things bc if he had the profile hidden there is no telling what else he has been doing that im not aware of.I have never been the type to put up with this sort of thing, but when it comes to this man I feel so entirely week. Like he is the perfect one for me. I dont know,its maybe the way he talks to me but I feel like he is a magnet that I cant break away from. I am very, very sad today and cant even function. Any advise would be greatly appreciated. On a final note,I went through my phone and a text he sent me about a week ago said something like "he knows that I am his soul mate and that he knows that no one else will ever compare to me" am I just making up excuses ?? Please help me.....

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:24 PM on May. 28, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (4)
  • i would say that if he has a profile on Match.com, he is NOT perfect for you. Those things don't just happen, it takes thought and effort. Also, arguments should not result in a week of no contact; that is not healthy or a good way to resolve issues. A week without contact with you should also not result in him looking for a relationship elsewhere. I am sure it seems tough to end things with him and he likely has a ton of qualities you find attractive. If you don't end things, you will be closing yourself off to other opportunities. A more perfect match for you is out there and this guy seems to be wasting your time. I ended things with a boyfriend like this once. A month later, I found my husband,. We have been married for 10 years and I wouldn't change my life for ANYTHING!

    SDJenn

    Answer by SDJenn at 12:32 PM on May. 28, 2011

  • What you think you have with him(exclusive relationship). Is not one it sounds like. He is acting single to me. Dump him.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 12:44 PM on May. 28, 2011

  • I'd say yes, you are making excuses. sounds like you are rationalizing.

    you've only been together for 6 months, it may be hard to break away, but it sounds like you know that's the thing to do.
    Lots of guys give the line that you are the one and want to set up being exclusive right away just to get their hooks on you.
    He obviously is still looking,
    Break it off, don't talk to him or contact him at all, and keep yourself occupied with other things.
    The feeling of his being a magnet will pass. I went through that myself with a guy that I'd been seeing for about 5 years.
    at one point I thought I'd never live through the break up, then one day when I happened to be reminded of him, I laughed when I realized I had nearly forgotten he'd ever existed!

    The more time you waste on him the more you'll regret it latter. leave, and let the life you deserve get started!
    ItsMe89

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 12:47 PM on May. 28, 2011

  • Yes he is a lier and cheat if he has a Match.com account beleive he still does and he probably has talked and went out with them. If he really cared for you then like you said he would not need these sites.
    He wont change and if you accept his behavier he will walk all over you and never change most men don't and he will tell you what he thinks you want to hear to keep you and continue doing his dirt. Get out while you can, six months isn't that long and you will find a nice man who wants to be with you thru thick and thin.....good luck
    dusty1962

    Answer by dusty1962 at 8:51 PM on May. 28, 2011

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