I've been in a troubled & volatile relationship with my child's father for the past 4 yrs. Up until 5 months ago I tried very hard to make my relationship with him work, but i still was holding on to resentment because throughout the relationship we often physically & verbally fought, mostly because we didn't see eye to eye on things & he is very verbally abusive. he's a good father, but sometimes he says evil things that have me feeling so bad i cant get out of bed. Anyway, about 5 months ago, i came into my bedroom where my boyfriend was sleeping and i tried to cuddle up next to him and hold him...he got mad and told me to go away. I am very used to this kind of treatment because he's always been a grouchy, unaffectionate person toward me but something just snapped in my mind and I just couldn't take the disconnect between us anymore so texted my friend who i've known longer than my boyfriend. I've know this friend about a year before i met my boyfriend and i always knew he had a crush on me (& he always knew i had a bf) but i was never attracted to him & we never hung out alone together it was always with other people. we would send texts to each other every blue moon but that was it. my bf knew about this friend & that he had a crush on me but he never told me i couldnt talk to him bc i told him i didn't like him "like that". so to get to the point, from that night when i texted him, 5 months ago, we have been talking much more & getting closer and eventually started messing around. by bf did find out that i went out w him alone 3 months ago & got really angry but said he still wanted to stay together but not live together anymore.he moved out. howver, he called my friend & threatened him to never talk to me again & kept harrassing him on the phone for 2 days. i told him i wouldn't talk to my friend anymore, but i didnt stop bc my feelings for him were too strong at this point yet i still didn't want to lose my bf either. it took awhile for my friend to start talkin to me again & when he did he said he would be angry if i stayed with my bf because of the way he harrassed him on the phone, & said he would eventually forgive me if i went back to him but his feelings for would never be the same. out of fear of losing him, i lied and told him my bf and i were broken up. yesterday, my bf hacked into my cell phone acct & discovered that i have still been talking to my friend. he came over and started screaming at me that it was over, calling me a slut, said i was nothing but trash and for me to just go kill myself & that he does not give a damn about me anymore. then, he starts calling my friend AGAIN & leaving harassing messages on his phone. & found out through another friend that he changed his number (which i don't blame him) & he told this other friend not to give me the new number & that he was totally done. he was always so nice to me & never disrespected me the way my bf did. I've lost both men now. i know my relationship with my ex was unhealthy and i think i was just looking for an escape. but it came at a huge price and now i've lost both men. I feel so alone and unsure about what will happen from this point. I know my ex is done with me, but i'm not sure if i should even try pursuing anything with him because of the way he treats me. i need some good advice. please dont judge me, i know the decisions i've made were wrong, i lied to both guys and made myself look very bad..i feel horrible. i cried all night lastnight & almost contemplated suicide. i dont have many people in my life to talk to, my bf was the main person i told everything to. please help me without judgement.
Asked by Anonymous at 12:52 PM on May. 28, 2011 in Relationships
Answer by Rosehawk at 1:03 PM on May. 28, 2011
Answer by mom2aspclboy at 1:07 PM on May. 28, 2011
Answer by moki1984 at 1:13 PM on May. 28, 2011
Answer by babysavy9 at 1:59 PM on May. 28, 2011
Answer by babysavy9 at 2:01 PM on May. 28, 2011