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I allow my mil to make me feel like sh*T abt myself

she doesnt like me At all so she is very good and passive aggressivsely comparing me to her Other dil and her Own daughter. If it were up to me I would never talk to this lady again.. But sincE I chose my husband I chose her also.. Our marriage almost ended bc my husband couldnt handle on the tension between his family and I. My inlaws visit my son abt once a month and if mil is in a good mood. she is super friendly with me will let me knw how the visit went and its all good.. But if mil is feeling bitchy then I get one word answers and a really COLD attitude. And a put down abt my mothering abilities . My husband thinks im to emotionally involved and just want his parents in our life for our son.. NOT TO be friends.. BUT ITS HARD!!!!!!!!!!! NO ? JUST VENTING

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:22 PM on May. 28, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • my MIL patronizes me too... She's always telling me what to to... It's hard, my mom's not like that to my hubby and my siblings SO's... I guess I got the bad MIL type too

    Answer by SamJ321 at 2:38 PM on May. 28, 2011

  • Your mil must be a very unhappy person to treat you like this.  Your husband needs to let his mom know that he loves you, he is happy with you, your a good mother and your staying married so back off. Does your mil criticize you in front of your children?? I think if your mil can bring in positive, nurturing grandmother love to your son that's great. However she needs to respect her grandsons mom.  Since her visits are only once a month maybe you can just give the lady a big smile and try not to allow her to get on your nerves,


    Answer by mommiedear at 2:45 PM on May. 28, 2011

  • she is constantly comparing me to both my Sil's which Neither one of them have Any children Yet. so the comparison's are just crazy. My husbands stance is that he wants his parents to be grandparents and I need to just let it go.. My son is 4 & she is passive aggressive so when she does put me down. if I call her out on it ** I LOOK LIKE THE CRAZY ONE:(** mil acts like perfect mom that is just as happy as a calm.. Thank god for cafemom or my self worth would be in the trash can bc her June cleaver attitude make me sick..
    But my own Mom is the BEST and I love her for that.. she sent me card a month a go saying Im the light of her life..

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 2:51 PM on May. 28, 2011

  • Dont let anyone make u feel less about yourself. If she doesnt like you then screw her. If u were such a bad mother or however she sees u at one point u must have been good enough for her son. He did marry u. So if she thinks less of u she should think less of her son.She should respect u and i hope she doesnt say bad things about u to your son. She seems just evil! These MIL seem crazy too!

    Answer by allgirlsmom31 at 2:52 PM on May. 28, 2011

  • You know how she is. Accept that and don't take what she says personally. It's HER issue. Don't let her make it your's. Only you can allow her to make you feel like poo. My SO is Passive Aggressive and tries that bs. It took me a while but now don't let it bother me. I just pretend it bounces off me and back on him (but I don't tell him that!) I just smile (and grit my teeth somedays). They will keep pushing if they don't get the response they want from you. That excites them to be able to upset you. She will give up after a while but don't let your guard down on her! Just be happy and dance naked when she goes home!

    Answer by admckenzie at 2:53 PM on May. 28, 2011

  • Im done letting her bother me.. My inlaws came to visit about 5 wks ago. Normally they come once a month .but I think mil doesnt want to deal with me or whatever. She sent me a cold email yesterday No hi no good bye.. Just we might come to visit monday.. dont email me abt IT .. my son will call his dad.. OKAY.............****sigh*** was the bitchy attitude needed.. HA HA I RESPONDED by sending her adorable pic of my 4 yr old son.. THAT SAID.. wanted to share this cute pic... IM DONE IM DONE IM DONE.. ok it might take me telling myself this 100 times.. but im DETERMINED TO NOT LET HER BOTHER ME.. THANK U LADIES FOR THE SUPPORT. IT MEANS ALOT

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 3:06 PM on May. 28, 2011

  • Like the last poster said, they get off on getting you upset. Now, just teach yourself to deal with it & not let it happen. When she talks about your parenting skills, just smile & thank her for her input. Tell her you will consider trying it sometime but right now you prefer the way your are doing whatever. Nothing irks them more than not getting a rise out f you.
    Good luck & God bless you.

    Answer by 1bionicgranny at 3:11 PM on May. 28, 2011

  • Comparison the passive aggressive put down she sounds unworthy of your time smile and know this is only her opinion and the sun will rise and set if she likes you or not. Mastering others is strength mastering oneself is fearless!

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 3:13 PM on May. 28, 2011

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