Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

15 year old and freedom?

I was reading this

http://www.cafemom.com/group/41/forums/read/14156884/Do_you_think_this_mom_deserved_jail_time?ct=acm_group_posts

about a mom who let her 5 & 7 yr old walk a mile to the store by themselves and also about free range kids.

Made me think about my 15 year old ( I know strange) At 5 & 7 I was a bit neurotic and she never left my sight except for school. Now that's she's older I've loosened up some, she goes to friends houses and other activities but I'm always aware of where she is and there's a crewfew.

She wants more freedom and she has asked to ride her bike to the libary but I've said no, thought it was too far to ride a bike. (1.5 miles away) (but I would be happy to take her.)

Anyway, how much freedom to your teens have?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:34 PM on May. 28, 2011 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (13)
  • To be honest I had all the freedom in the world at any age. I also use to walk a mile to school between 5-12 and when every I went to my grandmas I walked a mile to the store when she needed groceries. That was about 15 years ago though when it was a bit safer. I think you should give your 15 a little more freedom but of coarse tell her about stranger danger. Never get in a car with someone you dont know or barley know. My kids will not be allowed to go any where without me until they are about 12-13 then they must be with a couple friends at all times if they go any where else.
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 4:37 PM on May. 28, 2011

  • No, I wouldn't let my 15 ride her bike that far. I would take her. Personally, I think a 15 yr doesn't need a whole lot of freedom. I would worry about giving TOO much freedom, NEVER really not having enough.
    sherlee

    Answer by sherlee at 4:38 PM on May. 28, 2011

  • Our teens pretty much entertained their friends at our house. They were allowed to go places with others whose parents we trusted to watch closely, but that didn't happen too often. We went to all the school functions so there was no need to drop off and pick up. Our children did play in the neighborhood, but I would be even more cautious about that were they growing up today. There are too many perverts who drive through the streets of even small towns, looking for children and teens and even young adults whom they can grab and be gone before anyone notices. So I personally do not think you can be too careful. Safety comes before freedom, and one day she will thank you for watching out for her when she was too young to recognize the danger.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 5:53 PM on May. 28, 2011

  • I have a 16 year old and a 19 year old, both girls (and a baby boy). As my girlies get older I get them a little more freedom, but with that freedom came more responsibility. If I catch them taking advantage or breaking the rules some freedom got taken away. They always know I am checking their computers and phones and where they are. I don't check on them as much as they think I do...because they have been good girls, but they know I will at any moment. I would let my 15 ride the 1.5 miles....drive over later to check to see if she is there. It will put your mind at ease.
    ochsamom

    Answer by ochsamom at 6:07 PM on May. 28, 2011

  • My almost 13 yo dd goes nowhere alone. She must have another girl with her at all times (I'm not talking about in school). Once I found out that she broke the rule at the mall and because she didn't want to go to the same store as the other 2 girls she was with she went to another store alone. She was not allowed to go to the mall with friends for a very long time. She learned her lesson.
    cat4458

    Answer by cat4458 at 9:50 AM on May. 29, 2011

  • I keep my 14 year old on a tight leash. I know what some of the kids in her class are into and i disapprove. I feel like she gets to do most anything she wants as long as there is supervision. She is not allowed just to roam the streets.
    daerca574

    Answer by daerca574 at 11:05 AM on May. 29, 2011

  • I think you should ask her if there is someone she can go with that you approve of , and eventually maybe she can go alone , when ridng a bike a mile, she can get there quick ,,, I used to make my kids take pictures of where they were at and later felt better with it as i knew they started getting more responsible ,,, my 17 yr old daughter rides her skateboard all over now ... and is constantly callng me and telling where she is or tells me who she is with and I told her the reason that was about , because i dn't want her feeling I am envading her privacy :) but only tell her that is for a safty reason more. my teens understand how important to tell me where they are at at all times , my 15 year old likes to walk themall for the girlies so he constantly calls me and says just checking in mom... I think you can do it little by little and see how responsible she is ,,,
    barrerajuls

    Answer by barrerajuls at 1:47 PM on May. 29, 2011

  • They would be able to go to a store a mile away with no problems.
    aj23

    Answer by aj23 at 7:50 PM on May. 30, 2011

  • I would let her go if she had someone to go with her.
    iam4you2

    Answer by iam4you2 at 1:34 AM on May. 31, 2011

  • Our town is so small only a mile long on the main road. My children are 13 & 16 and I do let them walk or ride their bikes to the pool a mile away, or to the library a half mile away, they walk to school a half mile away. The walk or ride bikes to friends homes, most time their friends are at our house but occassionally they do go their. My older son can drive, and I don't like him driving out of town, although I've allowed it once to go to a movie with friends, they all had to drive seperately because where we live teenagers under 18 can only have one other person in the car under 18. I was nervous but he did just fine.
    Sometimes you do have to let them earn the trust and learn the responsibility of added freedom, when leave to enter the world on their own, they prepare by making those mistakes and doing things on their own. I'm still protective but do allow more freedom than most, living in a small community helps.
    blessedwboysx3

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 9:37 AM on May. 31, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN