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Do you agree that my SO should be working more?

he works 24hours at 22 dollars an hour.

I work 15 hours at 11 dollars an hour. Plus I go to school FT, and bring in grants and what not. I have also taken out a small loan that is not due for pay bac til I am done at my University.

We live in a 1 bedroom apartment at 875 per month, plus he has a car payment and insurance.

I honestly feel like he gave up in school so he doesn't need any extra hours to study, so he should be working more. Perhaps another part time job. Everytime I bring it up he gets all angry and mad or shuts down and acts like I'm not speaking.

Here's the catch, he agreed to pay rent until I am done with school, he put it in writing, signed and dated it. So far since I got my student loan I have had to take money out to cover rent, which means he is not being smart with his money. I so far have 5k in student debt, 2k is supposed to cover this summer quarters tuition, but the rest should have been used towards emergencies, or even toward a babysitter, or food, not so he can go spend frivilously.

He has debt too, of which he has stopped paying on for going on a year now. 10thousand that has had no payments toward it, and another 10thousand that he is current on, which is his car and another loan combined.
He should be working more, he's not doing anything else. And if the argument gets heated enough he leaves and stays at a friends, he's such a selfish asshole, I am so annoyed.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 6:08 PM on May. 28, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (19)
  • Next time he leaves to go spend the night with his friends, don't let him back in. If you are going to manage on your own financially you should just be on your own.

    Answer by meooma at 6:11 PM on May. 28, 2011

  • 24 hours at 22 an hour? I think you misposted.

    Answer by Audrice1985 at 6:12 PM on May. 28, 2011

  • Let him go. He's a prick.

    Answer by emmyandlisa at 6:12 PM on May. 28, 2011

  • No I didn't mis post. He makes $22 an hour and works 24 hours per week.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 6:13 PM on May. 28, 2011

  • Honestly, this is a tough one. On one hand, I can see your point. But at the same time, I don't really see why he has to work more to take care of you. How long have you two been together? Is your kid(s) his, or is he someone you got together with after you'd had them? There's a lot of factors that could make my answer go either way.

    Based on what you say here, the best I can give you is that if he agreed to pay the rent and isn't, then you have the right to be upset about that. Beyond that, though, I'm really not sure.

    Answer by wendythewriter at 6:13 PM on May. 28, 2011

  • He used to work 40 hours a week, I was a stay at home mom/student. WE have a son, yes his son. Been together 4.5years, our son is one. Fact of the matter is, he needs to make more money to pay for rent, which he agreed to, and the 10 thousand dollars of debt he hasn't made a single payment toward. THey are going to end up garnishing his wages or something, that would be hell.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 6:17 PM on May. 28, 2011

  • Ok, now that I've read your last response, yes, he should be working more. He's equally responsible for ensuring that your son has a roof over his head and whatever else he needs. You are attempting to better your education to better provide for your family, and since it's his child, too, he should step up and take up any slack in the finances.

    Answer by wendythewriter at 6:21 PM on May. 28, 2011

  • He doesn't necessarily have to work more hours if he's helping with housework and cooking as well. Relationships, wether it's a marriage or not should be balanced. There are going to be times one person does more or less than the other one, but both of you have to be in it for each other.
    I wouldn't worry about his debt. If he's not paying it, then it's not your problem as long as your name isn't on anything and your not married lol
    If he agreed to pay rent, then yes, he should be paying it and you have a right be be upset....but I don't understand why it should be an issue of you having to make him agree to pay rent for the both of you? You both should be trying to support each other. Come together on it. Figure it out with him, and if you have to tell him your not happy with how things are going financially in your relationship. Be prepared to have him walk, and if he does then can you live on your own with YOUR money?

    Answer by BeachyBabe at 6:23 PM on May. 28, 2011

  • @wendythewriter

    and he verbally agrees, but then does nothing about it, and that's where the argument comes in. I will even pull numbers of places to call, because the job market here is going back up, plus he has experience, so finding a part time job should be easy. He just doens't do anything. Even now, he is at a friends house, being lazy sleeping, when he should be here helping, doing something productive, working, etc.

    And since I have had to cover rent, I can no longer help out with an emergency fund, It's used all up. The money left over in my account HAS to go to tuition or I can't attend school. ANd it's not like Im wastingmy time in school, like some majors it's hard to find a job, the job for my major is up 20% nationwide and 17% locally. We will reap benefits. I just need him to be on board NOW> uggh

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 6:26 PM on May. 28, 2011

  • He should work 40 hours or more now to get out of debt and not use student loans to live on- at this rate, you all will end up working 60 hours a week to get out of debt, pay back loans and increases in just about everything because of bad credit- you all are digging a hole that will be very difficult to get out of later- you have to think if this is the way you want to live or not and then make your move accordingly-

    Answer by soyousay at 6:26 PM on May. 28, 2011

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