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How do I get my oldest son to be more responsible?

My oldest son is 15 and does not like to do any chores around the house. He does them if I give him a hard time but I am so tired of the drama.
I have taken his games and TV away but he still does nothing. I am so ready to ship him off to his dad's. :{


Asked by smightygood at 9:06 PM on May. 28, 2011 in Teens (13-17)

Level 7 (185 Credits)
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Answers (14)
  • My son is 15 and he doesn't like doing chores , he thinks he's grown up lol what i do is i stress that the reasons why we clean and why we do certain things I do the money thing and that seems to work because he loves to go to the mall with his friends and just be able to buy his snacks ,,, if he doesnt clean i say no money ,,, i tell him if he was working for someone and didn't do the job then he wouldn't get paid , or they knock money off if he is late or he was short of something so I treat it just like i was his employer and tell him its getting him ready for the real world. I think this works for him because he feels grown up and i'm sorta treating him like a grown up and he seems to like that so it is all good.

    Answer by barrerajuls at 1:19 PM on May. 29, 2011

  • Don't give them any choice. Don't just take away TV and Game system. Take away phone, after school activities that don't have a bearing on a grade or team, take away everything in the room but YOUR choice of clothes and his bed. Sit down and explain to him that he is a member of the household and that he needs to contribute. Ask what he would prefer to do for chores. He might hate doing laundry but not mind scrubbing the bathrooms so much. Set up a chart with a rewards system. Assign him one night a week where he has to cook dinner. Involve him in the process of running the household as it sounds as if it is just you and him. But don't back down. It is a process that should have started much younger, but it isn't too late.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:31 PM on May. 28, 2011

  • I hear ya mine is 12 and I have to go through the drama everyday! and whats worse his little brothers 8 and 9... are already following his example. I have taken all his stuff away too, but I still don't seem to get though. So I'm wondering the same thing. I hope you get more answers that will actually help sorry I don't have the answer.

    Answer by babysavy9 at 9:22 PM on May. 28, 2011

  • Make a him a list he can check off. When he wants to do something, you don't allow it until the chores are done. You don't have to ake away the video games, but tell him he can't play until XYZ are done.

    Answer by SherriPie at 1:29 PM on May. 29, 2011

  • Wierd, I had to check the username on the question to see ifI wrote it!! I wish I could help you, but my son was the same way. I think it all clicked for him when he saw me have a complete meltdown. I had to be honest with him and tell him that I just couldn't do it & he HAD to be my best helper! He is still lazy sometimes, but he is doing soooo much better! He even tells me to go lay down or take a nap sometimes while he watches the baby.
    I know we are supposed to be supermoms & never let our kids see our weaknesses, but it worked for me.

    Answer by shareleann at 2:56 AM on May. 30, 2011

  • Hi anonymous. His behaviour started after he made 15. He has become really headstrong. I have done the charts and the like but he is so non-chalant about everything it does not phase him in the least.

    Comment by smightygood (original poster) at 10:30 PM on May. 28, 2011

  • Does he get an allowance? If so, take that away also along with other electronics. It works for me, but then my daughter is only 13.

    Answer by cat4458 at 9:46 AM on May. 29, 2011

  • Wish I could help, but never figured out an answer with mine, and she wound up having her child removed from the home for unsanitary conditions. Teens are hard, but what happens now can and does affect the rest of their lives.

    Answer by elasmimi at 9:53 AM on May. 29, 2011

  • i'd set aside an hour a day for him to get his chores done. once he gets them done let him have his games and such. A little motivation goes a long ways.

    Answer by daerca574 at 10:54 AM on May. 29, 2011

  • Mine just turned 15 and I deal with the exact same thing. It would be so nice if he would just get up and do things without being told. I have just started doing things myself and when he asks to go somewhere or do something....he gets told no and I explain why. I tried giving allowance but took that away because he wanted the money without doing the work. And when he did the work, it was only effort involved at all.

    Answer by cmgIII at 11:17 AM on May. 29, 2011