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Is this going way above and beyond, or something I should truly consider?

I just posted about my hubs jealous cousin. Saying I flaunt my money at a family dinner.

"I just talked to hubs about it and he said when I left they were all talking about it and I guess she is having issues even paying her rent for a 2bedroom apartment. They have 4 kids, 3 grls 1 boy. I have a rental house, they could also do a rent to own with me, the house is a single level 3 bedroom, it's also in the process of being fully renovated so I was going to rent it out as a bargain, but might as well rent it out as a bargain to family. That way part of their rent is simply making sure work gets done. Only issue is maybe I would be enabling them because in reality they would just go back to the same issue because I am seriously cutting rent way down, and the house will be done in roughly 6 months. "

What do you think of me actually doing this? I could make it happen...Although I do have a hard time helping ppl who are mean to me, maybe this will mend something>?


Asked by Anonymous at 10:50 PM on May. 28, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • Do not do it. You are asking for more problems. You will end up being the bad guy when you have to evict them. Or they will say your took advantage of them and they did the work and you are going to make the money. We know it does not make sense, but some people feel they deserve to be taken care of. Some people feel they are entitled.

    Answer by tootoobusy at 11:04 PM on May. 28, 2011

  • I think your heart is in the right place, but family and money can make things go bad really quickly! What happens if they don't pay and you have to evict them?

    Answer by peanutsmommy1 at 10:53 PM on May. 28, 2011

  • Its never a wise idea to bring family into business. I know you mean well, but honestly, do you really need that kind of drama?

    Seriously think this over before you decide. If they were random strangers, would you rent to them?

    Answer by hopeandglory53 at 10:54 PM on May. 28, 2011

  • What is causing her to have trouble paying her rent? I would take that into consideration. Money issues sometimes make tension even worse among family. Can you afford for her to think she's safe if she doesn't pay what she owes you? Are you willing to actually take her to court to get what you're owed if this were to happen? I personally would avoid doing this in order to avoid further conflict.

    Answer by Ginger0104 at 10:54 PM on May. 28, 2011

  • If you decide to do it, be careful. Family always expects you to cut them deals just because they are family and it could end up making things worse. Your heart is in the right place but it will probably end up being more stress than you realize right now.

    Answer by cmgIII at 10:54 PM on May. 28, 2011

  • I hear ya. . . and honestly I don't know if I would do it. . . they feel you are flaunting your money as is. . . I would think they would just take advantage of your generosity and still feel you are flaunting. JHMO. I have to admit I would have the urge to try to help them out, but is it worth it?

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:55 PM on May. 28, 2011

  • I probably wouldn't. My reasoning is that they have the same opportunity as anyone to make money. If I make money then I should be proud of the fact that I don't have to worry about money BUT, I would watch to see if I am flaunting it and maybe change that behaviour.
    Or, it could just be that they see how you dress and spend and are very sensitive to that. There is nothing that you can do in that instance.

    If I was truly in the wrong and did flaunt it, I would apologize for that but I wouldn't go any further. Like PP states, it's not wise to mix business and family.

    Answer by Jademom07 at 11:01 PM on May. 28, 2011

  • Thats what my gut says, it could turn into another way for her to have drama with me. I'll ignore the thought, I haven't shared it with anyone yet, not even hubs, and he didn't ever bring it up, and since it's his family, he doesn't want to do anything to help, neither will I.

    Just seems like everything we do is "I'm showing off"
    last Christmas I bought all 4 of her kids something.

    I bought all 3 of the kids who could ride rides a pass to the local amusement park, plus they each got a $40 gift card to spend there.
    She has a 2 year old - this set of chunky puzzles and a storage for them. (mellissa and doug puzzles)

    and for her and her husband my hubs bought them a wine tour, we live in napa county, Wine R us, we said we could watch all 4 kids, overnight even so they could enjoy themselves.

    I was accused of trying to show off, i don't even do wine tours, its more of a tourist thing to do.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:05 PM on May. 28, 2011

  • Could you be in my family? I wouldn't think that you were flaunting it and I would appreciate it! Promise!

    Some are really sensitive to what they cannot buy for themselves and when someone else does it for them, they feel inferior.

    Answer by Jademom07 at 11:09 PM on May. 28, 2011

  • lol
    I think thats how she is, cause her husband is so funny, like always excited to see what we get them because we always get them something for them to do alone, and to have alone time.
    Anniversery? I bought them tickets to a Raiders game, and a nice hotel stay by the bay. Her response, "I dont even like football" my response then give them to your husband, I'm sure he's appreciate a break from you." lol that was back in October. LOL like I said in my last post, typically I will go in on her, I just took the high road last time.

    I'm thinking this next holiday I will get her husband something to do with my husband and I will get her a robe or something she could tangibly use, or throw away or give away. Either way I am done with the extravagent stuff.

    Also, I only do that for her, I know she has 4 kids, thats hard. I figure I'd give them a break. whatever.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:16 PM on May. 28, 2011